Part 1: The Generation Gap - Understanding Each Other's Concerns
Video games have become a major point of contention in many households. And video games are supposed to be fun, entertaining, and not at all a source of conlict. This is really the main reason why I was compelled into write this series of articles, to open up a positive dialogue between parents and teens about video games, addressing myths, concerns, and promoting mutual understanding.
We'll explore the pros and cons of gaming, demystify fears, and offer practical tips for parents to better connect with their children through this world of gaming.
So, let's press the button and start!
On one side, parents worry about the potential for addiction, the impact on academic performance, and the influence of violent or inappropriate content. On the other side, teens often feel that their passion for gaming is misunderstood or dismissed by their parents, who might not recognize the social and recreational value of games. This divide leads, often, to a lot of tension and miscommunication.
In this part, we will explore the concerns from both sides, aiming to create a foundation for empathy and open dialogue.
- Addiction: Many parents fear that video games could lead to addiction, causing their children to spend hours in front of screens while neglecting schoolwork, chores, and social responsibilities. According to a study by Iowa State University, around 8.5% of American youth (ages 8 to 18) show signs of gaming disorder, which is why parents may feel uneasy about unregulated gaming time - source
- Negative Content: Some parents worry about the exposure to violence, inappropriate language, or mature themes, which could have a negative impact on their child’s development. Research has shown mixed results regarding the effect of violent video games, but concerns remain significant for parents. A study published in JAMA Network found that violent video games could have a small, but measurable, impact on aggression in some children - source
- Social Isolation: There’s a common belief that gaming is a solitary activity that can make teens more isolated from real-life relationships. However, the reality is often more complex. Many games are inherently social, fostering teamwork and communication among players. A study by Pew Research Center found that about 89% of teens who play video games do so with other people, either in person or online, suggesting that gaming is often a social activity - source
- Feeling Misunderstood: Many teens see gaming as a major part of their social life, a way to relax, or even a platform for self-expression. When parents criticize or place restrictions on gaming, teens often feel that their interests are undervalued.
- Parental Misinformation: Teens often feel that their parents are misinformed about the gaming world—believing stereotypes or outdated information about the negative effects of gaming. For instance, many parents might still believe the "gaming leads to violence" narrative, despite a growing body of evidence that finds no direct link between gaming and real-world aggression - source
- Lack of Support: Teens may feel that parents are not interested in understanding or even trying to engage with something they enjoy and invest their time in. Research suggests that when parents take an active interest in their children's hobbies, including gaming, it can encourage better communication and more positive habits. The Family Online Safety Institute provides tools for parents to better understand digital engagement and work collaboratively with their children to create healthy gaming habits - source
This part aims to lay the groundwork for understanding each other’s perspectives. By recognizing these concerns on both sides, we create an opportunity for families to discuss and empathize with each other. Parents can start to see gaming as more than just a potential source of harm, while teens can understand why their parents might have certain fears.
- Listen First: Encourage both parents and teens to actively listen to each other's concerns without immediately jumping to conclusions or defenses. Sometimes, just feeling heard is enough to alleviate some of the tension. For both sides. Practicing active listening, where each person summarizes what the other has said before responding, can be very effective.
- Share Personal Experiences: Parents can share why they are concerned, perhaps based on something they have read or witnessed. Teens, in turn, can share what games mean to them personally, how they connect with friends, or how games help them relax. A great way to start might be for parents to ask teens about their favorite game—what it involves, and why they enjoy it. This type of conversation fosters curiosity instead of judgment.
- Set the Stage for Future Conversations: Conclude with the idea that this is just the beginning of a dialogue. Understanding will deepen as both sides learn more and engage in open, ongoing discussions about gaming. Families can set up a dedicated time each week to talk about gaming or even play a game together. A study by The University of Oxford showed that parents who play video games with their children tend to have better communication and stronger relationships overall - source
Role-Play: Let’s consider the scenario of a mother named Sarah and her 15-year-old son, Alex. Sarah worries that Alex spends too much time on his gaming console and that it's affecting his grades. Alex, meanwhile, feels that his mom doesn't appreciate how his gaming time helps him stay connected to friends, especially after school during the pandemic. After an open discussion where Alex explained the social aspect of his gaming sessions and Sarah expressed her worries, they reached a compromise. Sarah decided to set aside time to learn about the games Alex plays, while Alex agreed to take more structured breaks for homework. This helped both of them feel understood.
Actionable Exercise: To encourage better understanding, set up a "Gaming Conversation Hour." During this hour, parents ask teens about their favorite games, and teens explain the mechanics, storyline, or why they enjoy playing. Parents should be open, ask questions, and avoid judgment during this session. Teens, in turn, can listen to any concerns their parents have. The goal is not to change each other's opinions, but to understand them.
By building empathy through understanding the initial concerns, parents and teens can move forward with a more open mindset, paving the way for productive conversations in the upcoming parts of this series.
Thank you for your reading.
This article will continue with:
Part 2: Myths vs. Reality - Debunking Common Gaming Misconceptions
