??? Play Rugby Not Chess

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The American high school I attended had the number one football team in the entire country. On game days, the players wore their jerseys proudly in the halls, keen fans painted their faces in the school colours, and classes were cancelled for “pep rallies” to hype up the excitement. I participated, of course, in this atmosphere of relentless sporting enthusiasm: I was privileged to serve as the captain – of the chess club.

I was reminded of this study in contrasts by a little confrontation in Atlanta, Georgia last week that you might have heard about. I watch US elections solely for their entertainment value, and won’t be taking sides here in the newsletter–but there was plenty to learn about executive leadership from the totally different approaches of Donald and Joe. One came armed with facts and figures, aiming to get viewers to follow his reasoning; the other appealed to emotion and experience, citing individual stories and examples. One asked for thought, the other for empathy. If you just read the transcript, it looks like Joe’s logical approach held up his side of the debate well, but he’d brought a calculator to a boxing match: on the screen, (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wf1eA3QUC4) his stumbling delivery and non sequiturs contrasted very poorly with Donald’s confidence and vigour.?

If I’d walked out on the gridiron with sixteen little white pieces and a two-sided clock, how long do you think I’d have lasted against the helmeted giants lined up on the other side of the field? As Alan Weiss says, to be effective in leadership you need to play rugby not chess, and that’s why I don’t let my coaching clients use the word “convince”. Whether you’re selling to a doubtful prospect, proposing a new tech budget to the Board, or appealing to a potential new hire, you need to build trust, use the other person’s language, and ask genuine questions; being “right” and amassing evidence that proves it doesn’t help your cause in the slightest.?

I’m always pushing people to bring emotion into their work, no matter how technical: right now, for instance, I have a group of African tech leads demonstrably linking their work to business goals, a CEO managing his Board relationships with greater curiosity, and a private-equity firm listening empathetically to staff ideas for AI innovations in deal sourcing. Drop the syllogisms and try a “listening tour” instead–feelings really do win the day.

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