Plato on Love: Transforming Business with Philia

“Teamwork makes the dream work.”

Introduction

Continuing my exploration of how to redefine business relationships within the context of the Ancient Greek six loves, Philia, or “brotherly love,” is defined as a deep friendship. Think back to that warm feeling when you’re having “a moment” with close friends. If you recall from your science classes, “Philia” is often used to describe bonding—e.g., “hydrophilic” for molecules that like to bond with water. The opposite of Philia is phobia—e.g., hydrophobic for molecules that repel water. In business, as in much of life, we want to encourage bonding among staff, partners, and customers. Philia is what we sometimes call “Platonic love,” since Plato thought that non-romantic love was one of the highest forms of love.

What drives Philia is mutuality and a bit of altruism. True Philia is doing good for someone else out of care. Here we find another set of distinct neurotransmitters being released in a cocktail that’s different from Eros or Storge.

Neurotransmitters Involved in Philia

Philia involves several key neurotransmitters that are typically released, each playing a distinct role in fostering deep friendship and bonding:

• Oxytocin: Often called the "bonding hormone," oxytocin is central to forming close interpersonal relationships and deepening bonds between individuals. It enhances feelings of trust and attachment, which are fundamental to Philia. This is also released during Storge.
• Dopamine: This neurotransmitter is associated with the brain's reward system. Dopamine release during positive social interactions, including moments of friendship and collaboration, contributes to feelings of pleasure and satisfaction, reinforcing the social bonds that are part of Philia.
• Serotonin: Linked to mood regulation and feelings of well-being, serotonin levels increase with feelings of significance and security within social groups or friendships. It helps stabilize mood, which can enhance the quality of interactions and the resilience of relationships.
• Endorphins: These are natural painkillers produced by the brain, which also help elevate mood and relieve stress. Endorphins are released during laughter, physical contact, and shared experiences, all of which can be components of Philia. They promote a sense of comfort and well-being, strengthening social connections.

These neurotransmitters together create a biochemical foundation for the feelings of joy, trust, and connection that characterize Philia, supporting the emotional and psychological health of individuals within these friendships. I’m sure we all agree that feelings of joy, trust, connection, well-being, and satisfaction are emotions we want to nurture in a business setting. Here’s how we can create those conditions inside and outside our organizations.

Application in Business

There’s a saying that we do business with people we like. This is true, and so much more can be discovered in understanding that in more depth. Imagine approaching that truth with intentionality to build deeper bonds leading to relationships that last even through disagreement and struggle. How would that change your business?

Aristotle categorizes friendships into three distinct types, each defined by its underlying motive: friendships of utility, friendships of pleasure, and friendships of the good.

Friendships of utility are formed purely for functional purposes, without any personal attachment between the individuals involved. This is transactional. For example, buying and selling might require a meeting, but only a superficial relationship develops between the buyer and seller. Think of the street vendor selling fruit or a food cart. This could be considered an acquaintance, assuming there is any form of relationship built. In online commerce, this is often lacking, which can lead to a missed opportunity for brand loyalty and repeat business. Often this is a “race to the bottom” where the only difference is value—or worse, just the lowest price. Conflicts and complaints are most likely to arise within these types of friendships. (I’m reluctant to call them “friendships,” but I'm even more reluctant to argue with Aristotle.)

Friendships of pleasure arise from the sheer enjoyment of another's company. Such relationships might form among those who share a common interest or activity, like members of a club or community organization. In a business context, this is realized when team members are all “pulling together” and aligned to the same goals. This is the feeling that your colleagues “have your back.” These friendships are often contextual, based around the activity. If the team disbands or the project finishes, so does the friendship.

Friendships of the good represent the deepest form of friendship, where both individuals admire and respect each other's character. This type of friendship endures as long as both individuals maintain their admirable qualities, with the relationship driven by genuine care for the other person. This is true friendship, embodying the highest form of Philia. You know this feeling when spending time with lifelong friends and can be experienced with your life partner(s) and family. In business, these are bonds that last through careers, across company divisions, and even bridging different organizations. These are people you know you can count on when you really need help, and they will answer your call. James Taylor nailed this when he sang Carole King’s “You’ve Got a Friend.”

You just call out my name And you know, wherever I am I'll come runnin' To see you again Winter, spring, summer, or fall All you have to do is call And I'll be there You've got a friend

If you’ve ever had this experience in business, or other parts of your life, you understand how valuable this type of friendship can be. Recognizing that we could all use more friendship, how do we create “friendships of the good” - or true Philia in business?

Creating Conditions for Philia

The simple answer for creating conditions for Philia in a business setting is to follow the Golden Rule. The Golden Rule is a moral maxim found in the texts and teachings of numerous cultures and religions, including Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, Confucianism, and many others. It serves as a foundational ethical guideline encouraging individuals to consider their actions' impact on others and promote compassion and empathy within interpersonal interactions. It's a principle of ethical reciprocity that essentially states, "Treat others as you would like to be treated" and most commonly expressed as "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Although this sounds simple, it’s a little more complicated in business, as “what’s best for the organization” conquers all. So we need to look at some other ways to develop Philia so those bonds can flourish while serving the benefit of the entire organization.

Creating conditions for Philia, or deep friendship and mutual respect, in a business setting can significantly enhance collaboration, job satisfaction, and overall productivity. Here are some practical ways to foster Philia in a professional environment:

• Promote Open Communication: Encourage a culture where team members feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings. Regular team meetings, open-door policies, and transparent communication practices help build trust and mutual respect. At a minimum, this is a way for people to get to know each other—and ultimately—their character, leading to opportunities to explore “friendships of the good.”
• Create Shared Goals: Align team members with common objectives that require collaboration and collective effort. Shared goals create a sense of unity and camaraderie for developing “friendships of the good.”
• Foster Team Bonding: Organize team-building activities that are not just fun but also require cooperation and interpersonal engagement. Activities that challenge teams to work together under less formal circumstances can strengthen bonds, building on mere transactional interactions.
• Peer-to-Peer Recognition and Celebration of Achievements: Giving employees the opportunity to nominate and reward each other is a way to publicly demonstrate recognition and respect for a job well done. Disney famously implements this practice by giving all of their employees coupon books for employees to reward each other. The coupon goes directly from one employee to the other, with a record of the transaction going to management. Publicly acknowledging and celebrating individual and team successes can foster a sense of shared pride and accomplishment. Peer-to-peer recognition helps build emotional connections among team members.
• Encourage Personal Connections: Create opportunities for employees to share personal stories and interests outside of work tasks. This could be through social events, interest-based clubs, or informal gatherings, helping employees see each other as more than just colleagues.
• Support and Development Opportunities: Investing in employees' professional growth and personal development can deepen their loyalty and appreciation towards each other and the organization. Mentorship programs, in particular, can enhance Philia as they involve personal guidance and support.
• Promote Work-Life Balance: Encouraging a healthy balance between work and personal life demonstrates respect for employees' overall well-being and personal priorities, which in turn enhances mutual respect and care within the team.
• Create a Safe and Inclusive Environment: Ensuring the workplace is free from discrimination and harassment is crucial. An environment where everyone feels safe and valued is conducive to deeper, more meaningful relationships.
• Encourage Vulnerability: Leaders setting an example by being open about their challenges and weaknesses can promote a culture where vulnerability is seen as a strength rather than a weakness. This openness can lead to deeper connections and trust among team members.
• Regular Feedback Loops: Implementing regular and constructive feedback mechanisms can help maintain clear, open channels of communication and continuous improvement, both at individual and team levels.

By implementing these strategies, businesses can create a conducive environment for Philia to flourish, leading to more cohesive and resilient teams.

The Dark Side of Philia

Exploring the darker aspects of Philia, or deep friendship, in business reveals that while it can foster a supportive and collaborative environment, it can also lead to several potential pitfalls. Here’s an examination of some of the negative consequences that might arise from the emphasis on Philia in a professional setting:

• Exclusivity and Cliques: A strong emphasis on Philia can inadvertently lead to the formation of exclusive groups or cliques within the workplace. These groups may isolate themselves, share opportunities only within their circle, and inadvertently or deliberately exclude others who are not considered part of the 'inner circle.' This can create divisions and undermine the inclusive culture of a workplace.
• Bias and Favoritism: Close friendships at work can sometimes result in bias in decision-making processes. Leaders may show favoritism towards friends when it comes to promotions, project assignments, or important business decisions. This can compromise meritocracy, leading to resentment and a perception of unfairness among other employees.
• Conflicts of Interest: Philia can lead to situations where personal relationships cloud professional judgment, resulting in conflicts of interest. For example, a manager might avoid giving constructive criticism to a friend or hesitate to hold them accountable for their performance, which can affect team dynamics and overall business effectiveness.
• Difficulty in Handling Workplace Conflict: When friendships dominate the workplace, it can become challenging to address conflicts directly. Friends might avoid confronting each other about professional shortcomings or disagreements due to fear of damaging the friendship, leading to unresolved issues that may fester and impact team performance.
• Resistance to Change: Strong bonds formed based on Philia might make it difficult for organizations to implement necessary changes, especially if those changes threaten the established relationships. For instance, restructuring or reassigning teams can be met with resistance if employees fear losing their close working relationships.
• Compromised Objectivity: In businesses where Philia is prevalent, there might be a tendency to compromise objectivity, especially in hiring, evaluations, or strategic decisions. Decision-makers may prioritize maintaining harmony and friendship over the best interests of the organization, which could stifle innovation and growth.
• Neglect of Professional Boundaries: Maintaining an appropriate level of professionalism is crucial in any business setting. Overemphasis on friendship can lead to blurred lines between personal and professional boundaries, which might result in unprofessional behavior and a decrease in productivity.

Addressing these potential downsides involves creating a balanced approach where Philia is encouraged but within the context of clear professional boundaries and a strong emphasis on fairness and inclusivity. This requires transparent policies, ongoing training on diversity and inclusion, and a commitment to maintaining an equitable workplace.

Case Study

There are a handful of famous friendships in business that resulted in phenomenal success. Coming from the tech world, the ones that first came to mind were Bill Gates and Paul Allen or ?Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak. These men developed deep friendships that transcended their business relationships, and I encourage you to explore these friendships more deeply as the powerful results of their intense collaborations have changed the world.

But keeping with the tech industry, let us go to the OG founders—Bill Hewlett and David Packard.

Coming from very different backgrounds, Bill and David met as engineering students at Stanford in 1930. In 1939 they formed Hewlett-Packard (which could have been Packard-Hewlett if the coin toss went the other way) in a Palo Alto garage. These men had a strong bond already—David left a highly coveted role at General Electric in NY to work with Bill to build something together. But I’m not going to address their personal relationship here. What I think is remarkable about HP is that they codified some of the values of Philia into what became “The HP Way.”

From an HP publication in the 1970s:

"What is the HP way? I feel that in general terms it is the policies and actions that flow from the belief that men and women want to do a good job, a creative job, and that if they are provided the proper environment they will do so. But that's only part of it. Closely coupled with this is the HP tradition of treating each individual with consideration and respect, and recognizing personal achievements. This sounds almost trite, but Dave and I honestly believe in this philosophy and have tried to operate the company along these lines since it first started.

"What is the 'HP way'? A lot of employees would like to have a nice cut and dried definition. I don't have one to give. There are a lot of elements in it—such as our informality, our knowing each other on a first-name basis, our working to achieve the small-company atmosphere, and things like flexible hours. You can go on and on, but one of the most important points is the integrity and honesty of the way we do business. And treating people the way we would like to be treated ourselves." - Ray Wilbur, vice president-Human Resources.

These values include:

• We have trust and respect for individuals.
• We focus on a high level of achievement and contribution.
• We conduct our business with uncompromising integrity.
• We achieve our common objectives through teamwork.
• We encourage flexibility and innovation in how the company is managed.

Another big part of the ‘HP Way’ is their management style known as ‘Manage by walking around.’

If you’ve been following along—this sounds a lot like Philia.

Additional note: The writing of this article coincided with the 2024 Berkshire Hathaway shareholder meeting where Warren Buffet spoke about his decades-long, enduring friendship with Charlie Munger, and I want to mention them here.

Warren Buffet and Charlie Munger became friends in 1959, and that relationship flourished until Charlie’s death in 2023 at the age of 99. Together, these men created one of the greatest wealth-generating vehicles this planet has ever known. But it’s important to note that this was far more than a business friendship; these men were bonded to each other in deep and meaningful ways. Buffet told CNBC in 2021, "I knew after I met Charlie, after a few minutes in the restaurant, I knew that this guy's going to be in my life forever. We were gonna have fun together, we were gonna make money together, we were gonna get ideas from each other. We were both going to behave better than if we didn't know each other."

It’s that last line that caught my eye. Behaving better because of a relationship—being better because of the people in your life that you care about—can only be described as love.

Conclusion

Perhaps Philia is the most obvious of the loves to apply to business because it’s not threatening in any way. “I love you, man” is a fairly common thing said between friends these days, and people are generally more comfortable with the concept of “brotherly love.” But the opportunity to intentionally develop and foster Philia in business is immense and can yield fantastic rewards. The bonds that people build through working together are very meaningful—we rely on each other for success—and often these bonds are sustained for years or decades into the future.

I’m reminded of a billboard I saw very early in my career (and marriage) advertising a job listing website. It read:

You spend more time at work than with your spouse. Choose wisely.

Isn’t it natural for people to want to spend time with people they love? Create that environment for yourself, your colleagues, and your stakeholders and you’ll be able to measure the ROI of love in performance and profitability.

With love,

Noah

Originally published May 16, 2024: https://antcreative.ai/blog/f/plato-on-love-transforming-business-with-philia