Plan to Set the Table

Some of my favorite memories as a child were not on some trip, or something that a person bought me. It was the time my family sat around the dinner table and shared stories about our family and friends. To this day I can close my eyes and still remember so many great times sitting at the dinner table with my family.

When I had children one promise, I made to myself was that no matter what was going on I would do everything in my power to make dinner at home every night I could. As my kids have gotten older and sports and events have come up this has become a challenge, but it still gets done. We do this by building our strategy for the week on Sunday and then executing our plan without regret all week. 

Below is our outline to building out “Set the Table Strategy” for our home. My hope is that your family can use these tips to help your family have more homecooked meals and have time together around your dinner table.

1.    Family Planning Meeting: Sunday is our day to plan and prepare for the week ahead. We use Sunday dinner to recap the last week and go over how successful we were on the previous weeks plan, and then talk through the next week. All items that can affect our Family Calendar (see next bullet) are discussed openly. The goal is to have a completed calendar ready for the week by the end of the meal.

We have found that our dinner time talks have become so much more enjoyable by doing this. We have learned so much more about what is going on in our kids’ school and personal lives. This was by far one of the best things that came from this.

2.    Family Calendar: When we first came up with the idea for a set weekly calendar it was hard for everyone, but most especially me. My schedule is crazy and always seems to be changing. But once I was able to finally commit to not flexing on the family calendar things have all become so much easier and predictable. 

Building the calendar MUST take place on Saturday or Sunday as the point of this is to have your week laid out before the work/school week begins. We run it all the way till the next Saturday/Sunday, so we have every day covered. Below is what we include:

1. Personal & Work Events / Activities outside of the home
2. Personal & Work Events / Activities inside the home
3. Church and Church Related Activities
4. Works Schedules
5. School Schedules
6. Personal Time
7. House Hold Chores and Responsibilities
8. Fitness / Exercise Plans
9. Meals Times & Plans: I have also begun to include the recipe for the meal in case someone else has to cook the meal.

The calendar is built on paper so we can do it over dinner and then we move it into a family shared calendar via our Apple Family Account. (You can also use Google Calendar for free). This way the whole family can see everything and help make sure it all gets done.

3.    Success Reporting: I have always lived by the saying my mother would say around our home and work, “if you cannot measure it, you can not manage it.” For this reason, we track everything in our weekly strategy and go over all the metrics at our Family Planning Meeting. Below are the Key Performance Indicators (KPI) we use to grade our self with:

Events: This covers all events in numbers 1 - 5

Were we on time?

• What was the exact arrival time?
• If late, why? How can we not be late again?

Did we leave at the scheduled time?

• If not, why?

Were all required items for event present?

Were there any events that were unplanned?

• Why?
• Which ones?
• Will they happen again?

Did they impact the overall day in a good/bad way?

Personal Time

How much personal time did you have?

Did you get alone time? If yes, how much?

Was your alone time spent with technology?

How much screen time did you have this week?

Chores

Did you complete your list?

• Was it confirmed by a parent?

Did you discover a way to get it done easier?

Any thoughts on other things we should be doing to improve our home?

Fitness

How many minutes/hours did your exercise each day?

What did you do specifically?

Any injuries?

What family exercise event should we do next week together?

Meals

Who was present for Breakfast/Lunch/Dinner Each day?

• Was everyone expected in attendance?

Who cooked the food?

Who sets the table?

Who cleaned up?

What was our favorite dish from the week?

Plan our next week meals

This may seem like a lot when you read it, but I promise if you just print this out and have it at dinner you can get through all of this before you are all done eating. Plus, as I shared above this will force your family to have a conversation that will keep everyone engaged as it effects the activities of every member of your family. 

One final important note! If it is not on the calendar, then it does not happen without approval. Yes, things happen, and we have to be flexible, but you also need to be very strict on your calendar. Once this is set it is law. To change it you must have some type of an approval process. For us it requires approval of both parents, or if it is a parent the spouse and one child must approve. This is how we hold ourselves accountable to one another.

To Your Success & Prosperity,

Michael McMillan