A Place for Grace in Startups

A quality deeply tied to great leadership, yet often overlooked, is grace. It carries a significant weight of character for any founder of a startup, when grace is embodied as a leader, extended to others in kindness and weaved into the growing culture, startups THRIVE . Grace is unmerited favor – we are treated better than we deserve – with an aura if goodness, thoughtfulness and purpose, so that all are respected & strength is applauded. As founders, we have signed up for carrying burdens of launching and scaling an innovative business idea, but we must also remember that there is grace in every hardship and failure for ourselves and our teams.

Grace is not from ourselves, it is a gift of thinking of others and the belief in the greater good; both being core attributes of a servant leader.

What is Grace, especially in the startup world?

Grace is commonly thought of as an elegant act of kindness when kind words are shared, timelines are eased, and a smooth flow is constructed. It reminds me of ballet, as a ballerina graces across a stage, yet that ease comes from the controlled chaos of rigorous training and introspection of character to strive for grace.

Grace comes from the Latin gratus, meaning pleasing or grateful.

Grace is humility coupled with quiet confidence. Grace is kindness set in concert with the intensional favor of people and the goodness of a task at hand. Grace is having dignity and showing respect for humanity because most of humanity is essentially good and those businesses we, as humans, create, with impact, are good. Grace engulfs thoughtfulness and diplomacy, but it doesn’t mean being a doormat, being disrespected and stepped on. Those who find, receive, and give grace in business are those who are self-confident. Grace certainly means being encouraging and helpful, and being a source of positive energy that lifts the spirits of those around you.

Grace is also part of that concept of “tough love” – practicing discipline, not from anger, divisiveness or slander, but because it’s in peoples’ best interest because it comes from a place to prosper together. Tolerating poor behavior is un-graceful for those who work hard.

Grace enhances inclusivity

Grace allows for broadening of the scope of who and what you know. It opens you up to learn about others, and walk alongside people who don’t look or talk like you. Grace pushes you to places you would have not otherwise gone to and all of the relationships that can be made. Grace means that startup team members & employees were proud of the company and more eager to see it succeed.?Grace sees no color, no gender, no sexual orientation it moves to the pace of progress and goodness.

A Place for Grace = A Place for Empathy

Grace is what we extend to another person, even though they may not deserve it, because we are acting from a place of empathy – recognizing that we too are imperfect and will need grace ourselves at some point.

We cannot always control what is sent our way but we can control how we respond

That response can be full of grace & gritt

The data also tells a compelling story of grace and empathy in business, where it increases innovation and increases employee engagement. From a study of 889 employees by?Catalyst, "when people reported their leaders were empathetic, they were more likely to report they were able to be innovative—61% of employees compared to only 13% of employees with less empathetic leaders" and "76% of people who experienced empathy from their leaders reported they were engaged at work".

Giving grace to yourself is imperative

It is usually easier to give grace to employees, vendors, or clients than to give grace to ourselves. Trust yourself to do what’s best, know you are worthy of grace and that you are leading with grace.

I so loved this description of the entrepreneurial journey through the eyes of a founder full of grace: "It can be a hard balance, this business-ownership-saving-the-world thing. Like walking a tight rope and holding a very long stick. At one end is your compassionate, giving nature who wants to say ‘yes!’ in order to help every person who wants to work with you. And on the other end is honoring your self-worth, core values, and making good decisions for your business. You balance all this while carefully moving forward to accomplish the daily tasks required to reach the other side all without falling off. And this is where grace comes in." -April Williams, mom of 2 boys and a whimsical wavemaker + creative expressive.

Grace is your how

"Start with why" is what most startups are advised (Simon Sinek is the bomb!), and it helps in practical and visionary ways, like why you get up in the morning and connect with your core, thus, your customers, better. Your why is your purpose that is wrapped into your vision and mission. The vision of your business inspires you, and helps you stay awake every day to get through tasks and tribulations. Vision is your aspiration; the rays of sunshine on your growing business. The mission is what sets you apart, what you do to get to the vision. The mission is your doing; the actual structure you are building with your startup, from the scaffold to the embellishments. And here’s where grace takes its place.?Grace is your how; the glue that holds everything together. Grace is not scotch tape that might fall apart or a bunch of bandaids that are just placed on the most serious wound, it is the interconnected web of kindness, reciprocity, respect, and growing culture of the scaling startup. Relationships are developed and maintained through genuine care, honesty and trust, with no hidden agenda. These are what sustain a thriving business that withstands the volatility of markets, recessions and pandemics. This is grace in action.?

How does grace show up in startups?

• Grace brings strength. It varies with you throughout your daily work and the work of others; but grace in its essence brings strengths not only to you but to the culture you are creating with others, internally and externally to your startup. ?Really give yourself credit for your achievements—all those things you’ve done and gone through in your life. When you do, grace grows, because you know your superpowers, you find renewed strength in them, and you can show up more confident and can give grace away as you grow in your leadership and confidence. I have seen this over and over again between the two co-founders of Sekr, one of my personal portfolio companies (and Ad Astra Ventures), Breanne Acio and Jess Shisler. Their culture is one of high respect and integrity to all employees, growing a virtual team of impact-driven and grace-filled employees whom all have a collective north star. This all brings so much strength to the company.
• Rest is full of grace to yourself and others. Rest for startup founders is hard to find and I am not the best person to be talking about something that I do not get too much, but I know that when I have rested in mind snd spirit, I am full of grace, I give more grace and all is better. The amazing Arianna Huffington, sings the praises of rest found in sleep, and I loved reading her books, The Sleep Revolution and Thrive. This excerpt is especially resonant: "Death from overwork has its own word in Japanese (karoshi), in Chinese (guolaosi), and in Korean (gwarosa). No such word exists in English." Another quote, especially true for women, "According to Dr. William Dement, the founder of the Stanford Sleep Disorders Clinic (the first of its kind), working mothers who have young children at home have seen an additional 241 hours of work and commuting time added to their lives annually since 1969." This is only the actual act of sleeping, but finding rest from the hustle and bustle, now, that is harder. Resting in the way you find best is what I would recommend, some find a run restful & replenishing, some find reading an easy book as restful & calming, some find meditating restful & centering and yet others find a rush of adrenaline (karate, skating, biking) restful & reinvigorating. The other type of rest is calmly knowing that you will be all right, that your thoughts should rest in confidence that the progress you are making in your life is honoring a good life. I was reminded of this by one of my students at Biola University, Sarah Hartono, founder of Millu and Gen Gen. We spoke deeply about her path towards more rest, and I was blown away, for someone barely 20 years old to have this insight into a leadership theme like rest to slow down to achieve more, was truly inspiring. She is now inspiring other students to do the same with Gen Gen, a volunteer startup that designs and sells stickers to support nonprofits and causes #fromtheheart and encouraging families and children to embrace creativity through her other startup, Millu, an immersive children's kit that creates space for the things that matter most in LIFE!
• Protecting your time & others. Grace-filled,?intentional time to work on your startup and grow your impact-driven calling in life seems small and easy, but it is filled with so many emotions (past, present, and future thoughts and experiences are so influential here) and conditions (scheduling conflicts, overscheduled weeks, timelines that seem unattainable) that you must guard your heart and mind, hold yourself and protect yourself as you continue to build your startup with joy. Be fulfilled to do it for yourself (super hard) and for others. You want to set firm boundaries and conduct business in an ethical manner while honoring your gifts and talents so that we can extend that grace & respect to others. My portfolio company, Lips, founder, Annie Brown, is an excellent example of this. She not only exemplifies grace, especially when protecting her time, but the time of others. She is the queen of wanting to make things fair & honoring the work and worth of others; so much so that she created an entire platform for SexTech, FemTech, artists, self & free expression professionals, and creatives to find a compassionate and inclusive community to thrive in.
• There is no room for judgment. It is part of our culture that are actions affect reward, acceptance & inclusion. Historically, if someone made a mistake, they were judged and held accountable for making it right. Failure is not applauded in most business cases; yet in the startup life, failure needs to be embraced. This is where grace comes in, expressive grace in these circumstances allows for a greater understanding of the challenges at hand and judgment turns into empathy & course correction. Especially for entrepreneurs, where there is judgment, confusion, and disappointment with investors, customers, and resources (like banks and lenders), so don’t judge yourself & others, fill your vocabulary with grace. A quintessential startup servant leader who exemplifies grace and grit is Dr. Debbie Chen, founder of Hydrostasis, another portfolio company of mine (and of Ad Astra Ventures). She does not judge her team, she encourages them to be the best versions of themselves. She also lifts up her other startup founder leaders in her ecosystem with another extension of grace, judgment-free, and sits down with them to pause, listen and reflect. She remarkably also extends this grace to her investors, with insightful investor quarterly reports that most of us look forward to as she adds a piece of herself, judgment-free, into her reports. It's refreshing to read and causes all investors to stop and pause a bit to reflect, really enriching the founder-investor ecosystem.
• Grace is Good. Expressed in kindness, grace can be the core of startup culture. Grace to customers is exemplified in excellent customer service. Grace to employees is listening to their needs and challenges & meeting them where they are with available resources and genuine care. Grace to investors is writing great investor updates and asking humbly for support or feedback when necessary. These are all GOOD things in a business that enlarges the startup culture of grace, empathy, and support. This goodness culture is exemplified by Uqora founded by Jenna Ryan and Spencer Gordon. Uqora is one of the positive exits in my portfolio, so humbled by their tenacity and success! Uqora provides healthy, natural products that are proactive in avoiding UTI infections. Customers not only rave about the product but also the customer service; where flowers have been sent to customers when they need a pick me up. Extending grace extends LTV.
• Embrace an abundance mindset.?Fully embracing an abundance mindset can be achieved through receiving and extending grace through your daily conversations and decisions with your team and growth staff/employee base. This mindset of being larger than a single person, that the impact your business is making is larger than the collective and that the business will be sustained goes a long way and partnerships, customers, and investor interactions. One prime example of embracing this mindset is Sam Pantazopoulos, co-founder & CEO of Vizer, a wellness platform converting exercise into impact and rewards.?Even at the Convergence Conference of Startup San Diego last week, she mentioned that having an abundance mindset allowed for them to grow so aggressively across the US, landing a significant partnership going live in the next 3-4 weeks, so stay tuned. Extending grace to her team through covid and other bumps in the road while holding on to the larger vision, allowed for her to see the vision and go for the larger partnerships and contracts. The fullness of grace allows for grand visions of impact & success.
• Grace-filled innovation is patient & impactful. Innovating is an up and down battle of creating, recreating, evaluating failures and successes, and recreating, seeking feedback; and the cycle continues. The absolute only way to get through it and create a startup at the same time is TONS of grace, because, without it, doubt creeps in, and impact is thought of as a far-off goal (which it should be core), and teamwork does not become the dreamwork. Grace-filled innovation must be patient with timelines and deadlines, with failures of manufacturing and supply chain frustrations, to be as impactful as possible. Don't get me wrong, startups have to have inflection points and the deadline to achieve next-level progress for investors and employees alike. One of the most successful entrepreneurs who is innovative, impactful, and full of grace, is Orianna Bretschger, founder & CEO of Aquacycl, offering the only technology to rapidly treat?wastewater, eliminate primary sludge and recover energy as direct electricity (no methane). She has built a team that shows up for each other with grace and respect; and likewise, for their customers, when during COVID, as her business was being challenged with shutdowns, she gracefully, listened to her customers and manufactured what she could in her facility, hand sanitizer. this act of grace increases customer loyalty and engagement in the long run.

Grace and gratitude are hallmarks of startup leadership. These two are virtues that are typically not highlighted especially when capitalism and returns on investment are at the forefront, but they have a significant return on impact.?Leaders of startups can do their very best in all of the circumstances of startup life, all the while extending grace to others with the belief that all are striving to be at their best for the good of the company. Will mistakes be made? Of course. Will situations come up that are not planned & hurt progress? Always. That is the reality of startup life. But where there is grace there is room for kindness and thoughtfulness, for understanding and forgiveness, for impact and innovation, for listening and loving. Both you and your business will be better off.

RESOURCES:

• https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-case-for-grace-in-bus_b_8205912
• https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbeshumanresourcescouncil/2020/07/07/what-it-means-to-lead-with-grace/?sh=14b1a9795b47
• https://www.td.org
• https://www.catalyst.org/reports/empathy-work-strategy-crisis
• https://www.buses.org/assets/images/uploads/general/Grace%20Handout%20with%20notes.pdf
• https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/stop-being-treated-like-a-doormat.html