Pity Posts - Unprofessional, Unproductive, Unhelpful

We have all seen them in our LinkedIn feeds. The pathetic photo of a person coping, or trying to cope, with a disease. Or worse, the death of a child, spouse, sibling, or parent. They are in a bad way. They probably have no or few family or friends, so they turn to social media to vent and share their anguish. We all sympathize with them. Some of us even know what it is like. But that is what Facebook is for, not LinkedIn.

I am not referring here to those who post that they had COVID and missed having to go to a party. They are the truly pathetic, just publicity hounds, not worth consideration (or having as connections!). I'm talking about people who were/are really sick or dealing with a true tragedy.

One woman, going through cancer treatments, posted a pathetic photo of herself. She explained that she had a Zoom (job) interview and, at the end, not realizing their mic was still live, the interviewers commented on the fact that she was wearing a cap and did not look professional.

The ironic thing was that the woman began her post mentioning the fact that she had purchased wigs to cover her head because she was embarrassed about her hair loss. The lesson she took away from the experience was to be her "true self" (although that may not have been the exact phrase she used) and, in the future, she would not wear a cap but would show her head with patches of hair.

That is not the lesson she should have learned:

First, the lesson for anyone interviewing is that you must always assume the mic is live!

Second, because she did not explain to them what they were seeing, a woman undergoing cancer treatment, they did not understand what they saw. They may have been jerks but they may also have been decent human beings surprised by her appearance. She should have eliminated the surprise.

Third, every employer wants a new hire to start yesterday. (That is not much of an exaggeration.) If you are undergoing medical treatment, be it chemo or physical therapy or anything else, you need to tell the employer and discuss what reasonable accommodation you require to be able to do the job. If three days a week you are going to be confined to your bed, but the job requires that you travel every week, it is an unreasonable accommodation for the company to work on your schedule instead of you working on theirs. It is simply not practical to apply for such a position.

But let's assume that you are physically able to do the job. Always put your best foot forward. To begin with, if you want to be considered a professional, look like one. It is not unreasonable for a woman who has lost her hair to cancer to wear a wig. She may not like it, but is not wearing a wig - which you have already purchased - worth not getting a job and, dare I say, health insurance benefits? Set your priorities.

Next, turn your medical condition into an advantage not a disadvantage. At the very beginning of the interview say, "I know you can't ask, so I'll answer anyway. I suffer from whatever. What this means is this, that and the other thing. The reasonable accommodation I require is X."

What you just told your potential new employer is that you are honest, upfront, and straightforward. You don't play games. They can trust you. You don't keep secrets and won't be surprising them with bad news. Most importantly, you know how to deal with adversity and how to defeat it. Those are qualities that employers like. Moreover, since you are not making a big deal out of your situation, but keeping it short and simple, they probably won't think too much about it either. I know. It has worked for my career counseling clients and candidates who were disabled veterans.

What employers don't like are individuals who go online, post a pathetic picture of themselves and tell a sob story. (For that matter the picture may be great but the story is still one of self-pity.) Why don't they like them? Because they show that the person making the post clearly does not understand boundaries. There are some things which you do not share at the office and certainly not on the Internet.

Publishing a pity post may get you pity, but I doubt it will ever get you a job!

Oh, and while I am on the subject, the posts that some women post (yes, there are men who do this as well), complaining about rude comments about their looks, but which include only a few lines of text and the remainder is a large photo of them looking absolutely gorgeous, fools no one. (Same goes for all of those announcing that they have been laid off along with the aforementioned photo.) It is obvious that the poster is looking for attention based on their looks. In the professional world, you always have to lead with your best/strongest attribute. If it's your physical attributes, you will lose every time to someone who leads with their intellectual/professional attributes. Instead of a selfie, I suggest a graph showing the increased revenue you provided to your most recent employer; i.e., something that shows that you are actually good at what you do! Think before you post a complaint and contradict it with a photo. Even the pity posters don't do that.

ARE YOU AN EXPERT IN YOUR FIELD? THEN I INVITE YOU TO BE A GUEST ON MY PODCAST, BRUCE HURWITZ PRESENTS: MEET THE EXPERTS. FOR COMPLETE DETAILS, TO APPLY AND TO SCHEDULE AN INTERVIEW VISIT: https://hsstaffing.com/video-podcast

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• The Woke - Robot Continuum
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• Emotional Intelligence
• Quiet Hiring
• Explaining Why an Employer Should Hire You
• Making a Career Change