The Pitfalls of "If It Were Me, I Would Have Done It Better" Mentality

Call me a dreamer, but I believe any environment can be a lot more successful than already is, not only for the environment itself but also for the individuals if individuals would support each other more than tear themselves town in their fight for power.

In every workplace or social setting, you're likely to encounter individuals who possess a strong inclination toward the "If it were me, I would have done it better" mentality. While a certain level of constructive criticism can be beneficial, constantly expressing this viewpoint can be detrimental to both personal relationships and professional environments.

I will delve into what I believe are the main pitfalls of this type of mentality, and I will give some personal recommendations, even though these are not the only approaches, and I would love to hear some others from your side as well.

• Lack of empathy is the first thought that strikes me whenever I see this happen.

?One of the primary issues with this mindset is the lack of empathy it often entails. People differ in experiences, skill sets, and perspectives, and what may seem like an obvious solution to one person may not be as apparent to another. Asserting that one's own approach is superior can create an environment where others feel undervalued or misunderstood.

At a company level, fostering empathy through workshops that promote understanding and appreciation for diverse backgrounds and perspectives could be a way to increase the empathy level. Actively listen to colleagues, seek to understand their experiences, and acknowledge the validity of different viewpoints would be ways for individuals to groom their empathy.

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• Then I am thinking that this mentality undermines team dynamics.

In team-oriented environments, the "If it were me" attitude can undermine collaboration and hinder the collective effort. Successful teams thrive on diverse skill sets and ideas, and dismissing others' contributions can erode the sense of unity and shared purpose essential for achieving common goals.

Encouraging a culture of mutual respect and appreciation for each team member's contributions and emphasizing the importance of collective success . That can be done by recognizing and celebrating individual and team achievements, reinforcing the idea that success is a result of collaborative efforts.

• Stifling creativity and innovation are another downsizes of the above-mentioned mentality.

?Constantly insisting that one's approach is superior stifles creativity and innovation within a group. True progress often comes from a variety of ideas and perspectives converging, and an environment that discourages alternative viewpoints can impede the generation of novel solutions.

Establishing a platform or a context for open idea-sharing sessions, where team members feel empowered to express unconventional thoughts without fear of judgment is what I would recommend. Encouraging brainstorming sessions and refraining from immediately dismissing ideas, focusing instead on exploring their potential might be very helpful.

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• The demoralizing effect is very powerful

Frequent expressions of dissatisfaction with others' efforts can have a demoralizing effect on individuals, leading to decreased motivation and engagement. Over time, this can contribute to a toxic atmosphere where team members may become hesitant to share their ideas or take risks, fearing criticism.

The solution I would see is to implement a feedback system that emphasizes constructive criticism rather than blanket statements of dissatisfaction and provide regular positive reinforcement. Acknowledging and appreciating the efforts of team members, and offering constructive feedback in a manner that highlights improvement rather than faults.

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• It is a Missed Opportunities for Learning.

The "If it were me" mindset can prevent individuals from recognizing valuable learning opportunities. Every approach, successful or not, provides a chance to gain insights and refine skills. Dismissing others' methods outright may result in missed chances for personal and collective growth.

Focusing on developing a learning-oriented culture that encourages continuous improvement and provides opportunities for skill development and knowledge sharing might help. Approaching challenges with a growth mindset, viewing setbacks as opportunities is a chance to learn and improve both individually and as a team.

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In conclusion, while it's natural to have personal preferences and opinions, constantly asserting that one's approach is superior can be detrimental to personal and professional relationships. Recognizing the value of diverse perspectives, cultivating empathy, and fostering a collaborative atmosphere are crucial steps in building a positive and productive environment. Embracing the collective strength of a team, rather than focusing solely on individual viewpoints, leads to greater innovation, creativity, and overall success.

• Have you even been on that side of the fence, where others were saying “I could have done it better, if it were me”? How did it feel? How did you react?
• Do you ever find yourself acting from this mentality? What is it that you could do to stay in the more constructive side of it?