The Pitfalls of Engaging with Ask Holes: Protecting Your Energy and Time in Business

Through the teachings of the tremendously successful John Maxwell, I’ve gleaned valuable insights about a particular type of person we’ve all likely encountered—what Maxwell refers to as an "Ask Hole." These individuals are everywhere in the world of networking, sales, and leadership. They constantly seek your advice, draining you of your energy and expertise, but rarely take action or purchase what you're selling.

Maxwell's concept of the Ask Hole has resonated with me because it highlights a common frustration for professionals: the people who repeatedly seek your help, praise your insights, but never actually apply the advice or take the next step. In this article, I want to dive deeper into this phenomenon and discuss how engaging with Ask Holes can impact your business and personal well-being.

Who are Ask Holes?

At first, Ask Holes may appear to be highly engaged and genuinely interested in what you have to offer. They seek out your knowledge and ask for input on how they can improve their business, close more deals, or refine their approach to leadership. However, their fatal flaw is that they rarely, if ever, apply the advice you give. They’ll nod in agreement, even offer praise for your insight, but when the time comes to take action, they fall silent. And when it comes to purchasing your product or service, they always seem to find an excuse not to commit.

The Energy Drain

The biggest issue with Ask Holes is that they drain your energy. Every time they seek your input, you pour valuable time and mental energy into helping them. You craft personalized advice, perhaps even follow up later to see how things are progressing—only to realize that none of it was put into action. It’s like trying to water a dead plant, hoping it will bloom.

As a business owner or sales professional, your energy is critical to your success. It fuels your ability to stay motivated, meet new clients, and close deals. But if you spend too much time on people who don’t value your advice or your services, you’ll find yourself feeling frustrated and depleted. Worse yet, this can prevent you from putting that energy into people who genuinely need and value what you bring to the table.

The Financial Loss

Not only do Ask Holes drain your energy, but they can also cost you money. Time spent offering free advice or consultations is time that could be used for paying clients. The hard truth is that not every conversation will turn into a sale, but Ask Holes can lead you down a road where it’s clear early on that nothing is going to materialize—and yet, you keep engaging. Why? Because we’re in the business of helping others, and turning people away doesn’t feel right.

However, continually investing in people who don't buy from you, or worse, never refer you, is a financial misstep. A wise businessperson knows when to cut their losses and move on to individuals who respect their expertise enough to pay for it.

Recognizing the Signs Early

So how do you identify an Ask Hole early on and protect yourself from wasted time and energy? Here are a few key signs:

1. Repeatedly asking for advice but never taking action?– If someone constantly seeks your counsel but you never see them applying any of it, this is a red flag.
2. Frequent excuses for not committing?– They’ll tell you the timing isn’t right, the budget is too tight, or they need to think it over—but they never actually pull the trigger on working with you.
3. Non-specific praise?– Ask Holes will often try to keep you on the hook by showering you with vague compliments. "That’s great advice!" or "You’re so knowledgeable!" But when asked to make a decision, they disappear.
4. Seeking free services?– These individuals always want "just a little more" information but balk at the idea of paying for it. If they keep coming back to pick your brain without ever offering to pay for a service, consider them an Ask Hole.

How to Protect Your Time and Energy

Once you’ve identified an Ask Hole, it’s important to take action to protect your energy and focus on clients who are truly invested in their success—and yours. Here’s how:

1. Set Boundaries?– Make it clear from the beginning that while you’re happy to offer some initial advice, ongoing consultations require a commitment, either in terms of time or money.
2. Qualify Your Prospects?– Before diving into a long conversation, qualify them by asking direct questions about their readiness to take action. "What do you plan to do with this information?" or "When are you looking to make a decision?" can reveal whether they’re serious.
3. Shift the Focus?– Instead of giving advice right away, ask them what steps they’ve already taken. This can prevent them from simply using you as a free resource and encourages them to come prepared to the conversation.
4. Don’t Be Afraid to Walk Away?– Sometimes the best move is to cut the conversation short and politely disengage. Your time is valuable, and there are plenty of prospects out there who will appreciate and pay for your expertise.

Conclusion

In sales, networking, and leadership, your time and energy are your most precious resources. Don't let Ask Holes drain them. Instead, focus on those who value your expertise, are ready to take action, and see the true worth of investing in what you have to offer. Remember, every minute you spend on someone who isn’t moving forward is a minute you could be using to close a deal or build a relationship with someone who is ready to go the distance. The key is knowing when to offer your advice—and when to walk away.