Pissed Off At Feedback? Turn It Into A Gift

I was on an initial call with a new executive coaching client last week. Overall, she was told that in order to continue in her role, she'd need to develop her executive presence. While this type of feedback is common, she felt it implied she was not good enough.

As we dug deeper, she expressed feelings of being unwanted and underappreciated, which over time, led to anger and defensiveness. She was even considering leaving a job she truly enjoyed because she felt that the executive team and board did not appreciate her hard work and value. She was ready to give up and say, "Take me as I am, or don't take me at all."

It’s almost impossible to be an employee and not receive feedback at some point. Often, this feedback feels personal, and we react as if we are being attacked. We put up guards, get defensive, and do what we need to do to protect ourselves.

That means, when we feel unwanted or underappreciated in any way, we often push away from whatever is causing us pain, and at work, that generally means we disengage from our jobs. Constructive feedback, perceived as negative, can destroy our trust and feelings of safety at work. It can turn a job that we thought was perfect into one that we want to leave.

Yet, the purpose of feedback is not to reject us, but to foster our growth and development—to guide us toward even greater success. When we turn away from information that can propel us forward, we miss the opportunity to advance our careers.

For my client, the key will be in reshaping her perception of the feedback from a critique of her worth to a constructive roadmap. This involves developing strategies to build her executive presence and ensuring her efforts are noticed and valued.

Ultimately, feedback isn’t something to fight; it’s something to explore. It's not there to harm us, but to provide the "cheat codes" to maximize our current situation. By considering leaving, she would be missing out on an opportunity to make the most of where she already is.

Where in your life have you pushed away feedback?

Is there a chance to react differently to feedback right now?

I'd love to hear your reflections and thoughts. Feel free to reply directly to this email.

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In the meantime, if you're interested in learning more about how to achieve a fulfilling career, feel free to schedule a time to chat here.

- to your health, wealth, and happiness, Ben