Pinky Lilani: The importance of kindness in leadership

When I started interviewing CEOs and founders for my Leadership 2050 podcast, I never expected their spiritual influences to become such a recurring theme.

Three series in, however, that is exactly what has happened - and Pinky Lilani embodies this through her work.

Pinky, as well as being a food guru and entrepreneur, runs a number of projects that support and celebrate the successes of women, such as the Asian Women of Achievement Awards and Women of the Future Programme .?

In our conversation, she flipped the conventional view of leadership on its head.

When we think about leaders in the traditional sense, they are cold. Disconnected. Intimidating, in some cases, with their communication very much one-way.

Lilani, on the other hand, is asking why leaders can’t be kind? I am finding words like kindness - frequently used by Pinky in our 35-minute conversation - suddenly becoming part of the leadership lexicon, where historically it’s been an alien concept in the business world.

This is where I see her strong spiritual motivation. And when leaders have that motivation, it manifests in service to others, putting people at the centre and having a higher purpose.?

It’s why she has had so much impact on the world, for example by putting the spotlight on women leaders in the Asian community, with very little resources. She sees potential in other people and gives them a platform for their hard work to be acknowledged, as well as an opportunity to network.

It doesn’t need major capital to fund it, but the impact is incredible. Like Jack Sim in the prior episode, Lilani’s work is an amazing example of what somebody can do when they have vision and want to make a difference. Using her words, here are eight learnings I took from our conversation.

1. From a reactive to a proactive approach

“I like to make connections, make a difference to people’s lives without them even asking. And I think leaders must do things without people asking them to. And I think, so much more, we need to have leaders who are respected.”

2. Find talent in non-obvious places - and boost their networks

“It’s also what I love about some of these people, they have no idea how amazing they are… they haven’t had life experiences. And what you and myself have [is] so much exposure to people. When you are 23 and starting out, your networks are fairly restricted.”

3. Make connections for impact

“I saw how connections and relationships actually help you to build programmes, and you can then have impact.”

4. Find a source of inspiration

“And part of it goes back to [that] my leadership is also very much based in my faith, so my philosophy of Islam is important to me. Because you have people like Khalil Gibran and Rumi who are great philosophers, and I go back to the philosophers to also be inspired. And there’s one of them who says it’s good to give when asked but better to give unasked.”

5. Leadership values

“I think values lie at the heart of everything I do. I often talk about… the eulogy virtues we have. And that’s always been important to me: the values of integrity, humility, compassion, empathy.”

6. Kindness and leadership

“After the pandemic, we realised how many people had such a hard time and they wanted kind leaders. And sometimes being a kind leader is not just being… a ‘soft’ option, it’s about being upfront, it’s about being authentic, it’s about being honest. So I think… if there’s leadership without kindness, it never goes a long way.”

7. Good quality childcare

“Almost all the women I know are really struggling with trying to have good childcare to be the best version of themselves. And I think ‘til the government or organisations get childcare right, you’re going to have that huge dropout taking place. And women are the ones who are really being marginalised.”

8. Form new ties

“I think that’s where the CEOs need to think… differently and innovatively… and start random conversations. I always believe if a CEO walked the streets of London and spoke to people that they would never speak to, they are going to really pick some new ideas.”

For me, Lilani is an example of the good that can happen when a leader has curiosity and interest in other people as opposed to just themselves.

And that, if taken on by more people, is a powerful antidote to many of the world’s problems.

There is much more in the podcast than I have had the opportunity to communicate in this newsletter, so please listen to it if you want to know more.

You can find the episode in the following places:

Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/tn/podcast/pinky-lilani-women-of-the-future/id1587156278?i=1000602410170

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6zT2rn7mjWD2A4NgqMI0A3

Amazon: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/20e08961-df52-4410-ae7b-5a8b3c01483c/episodes/ac3e5635-e15a-406d-8371-f184c40aad40/leadership-2050-pinky-lilani-women-of-the-future

A message from the author

Thank you for reading the 44th edition of the Leadership 2050 newsletter. You may be interested to know why I am writing it. As a senior fellow of management practice at the University of Oxford’s Sa?d Business School, my research and teaching focuses on how leaders transcend 21st century challenges such as disruptive technology change, the climate crisis and creating diverse and inclusive environments… alongside the ongoing challenge of delivering profitable growth. At Sa?d, I direct the Oxford Advanced Management & Leadership Programme and, in this capacity, work with leaders from many geographies, industries and governments. All this has given me a deep understanding of how good leaders create value - and bad leaders destroy it. One could argue that never before has this topic been so important on a global stage, hence why I am undertaking this work.