A Pink, Shiny, Elephant Made of Plastic, Guarding Against Flattery, A Snowy Day in September

“There is no other way to guard yourself against flattery than by making men understand that telling you the truth will not offend you.”

— Niccolò Machiavelli 

Greetings from the top of our mountain, it snowed last night. Yesterday it was 85 degrees, and then overnight, we got a little snowstorm, not much, but the ground is covered. Our last snow was June 17th; today is September 8th; it was a lovely summer. My friend Joseph loves the cold, me not so much!

I want to thank the folks at Grammarly for keeping my words in check. I run the program as I make my soup, and it checks my work. Without Grammarly, my daily offering would be unreadable. The fireplace is on; it’s chilly here, I’m decked out in my mountain gear, the coffee is strong, it looks to be a good week! 

I’ve set up tee times for this Friday; I’ve not picked up a club for a couple of years; I used to be a country club kid; those days are long gone, but young Nick has the bug, I thought I’d play 9 with him. I invited two others; we will see how much rust has formed on my game.  I think the snow will be gone by our tee times; I’ve not played golf in the snow for years; that might be an added challenge!

I woke up with a word in my head; that word is curious.  I think it good to be interested in all things. For example, I’m curious as to how it was 85 degrees yesterday, I was wearing shorts, and today there is a couple of inches of snow on the ground. I’m not a meteorologist, but that is one hell of a change. Don’t get me wrong; it’s a good chance; it will help with the forest fires; the smoke was horrible yesterday.

I think in business, it helps to be curious. Just asking questions about people’s stories, how they arrived at this particular point in their life. Where did they come from, do they have children, what is their why? 

My queen is up; I got my morning kiss; she’s getting coffee and will soon plop down next to me, sipping her morning fuel, scrolling through her phone. We have a call with our flooring guy this morning, giving our vision of our home remodel so he can get some samples. We will set up a time to look at our options later this week.

I recently heard a joke from Norm Macdonald, I committed it to memory, and I like to share this joke. I’ve shared it multiple times, and the look on the faces of those snared in my “wanna hear a joke” is priceless. Most jokes are short; this one is not; without further ado, here is my frog joke. 

A frog walks into a bank and is greeted by Mrs. Whack. The frog states, “Mrs. Whack, I’d like to get a loan.” Mrs. Whack looking puzzled asks what the loan is for, and the frog states he wants to buy a lily pad for $100,000. 

The bank loan officer says we can only give loans to people with names, and I don’t suppose you have a name? The frog states, “I do have a name; my name is Kermit.” Mrs. Whack laughs, “Oh, I see you are Kermit, the frog!” Kermit states, no, I was named after Kermit the frog, my last name is Jager, Mick is my father. You see, my dad had sex with a frog, and I’m his offspring.”

Once Mrs. Whack learned the frog in front of her had a name, she was obligated to consider him for the said loan, but she said, “Kermit, to get a loan, you have to have collateral.” Kermit replied, I do have collateral and out of his little frog pocket pulled a pink, shiny, elephant made of plastic.  Mrs. Whack, now confused, said, “I’m going to need to talk to management about this.”

As she entered the bank president’s office, the president said, “Patty, what’s going on today?”  Patty replied, “you are not going to believe this, but there is a frog. Kermit Jagger, Mick’s son that wants to borrow $100,000 for a lily pad.” The bank president said, “does he have collateral?”  At that moment, the young bank teller held up the pink, shiny, elephant made of plastic. 

The bank president holds it up to the light and looks at the loan officer and states, “this is a nick-nack Patty Whack, give that frog a loan!”

Feel free to share that joke; my queen hates it; she has heard it 50 plus times, I get a lot of joy watching folks, and I continue telling the joke, and you can see in their eyes, “how the hell long is this joke?”

I shared this with a young lady yesterday, and she laughed and said I have a joke! I said, “go!” and she said, “What is a pirates favorite letter?” I said, “R?” She said, “you would think R, but actually, it’s C.”  

I know, uncontrollable laughter, it’s good to laugh. We spent our weekend laughing with our friends Dave and Anna and then continued laughing all day yesterday, watching music, cooking, hanging out on our deck; laughter is essential.  It was maybe my favorite labor day of all time. Just me, my queen, and our cats were doing life.

I’ve got a couple of appointments down the hill today. I’ll work here until 1:00 and then head down to meet my friend Rob for coffee and then meet Zach and Colt for a drink. Face to face meetings are slowly returning; it’s good to work virtual, but sitting next to another human does have it’s benefits.

I just caught this quote from Zuby; if you don’t know Zuby, you should; he’s a black rapper from England. His quote is, “Being easily offended is a weakness that masquerades as a virtue.’ I see so many people virtual signaling their “wokeness”; it’s tiring for this old man to watch. When did it become fashionable to get butt hurt about every comment or, in my case, soup? Are you incredibly upset and offended, or do you want to argue about how someone, me included, makes you feel? Toughen up my friends,  some of us are not afraid to say what others are thinking.

Well, there you go, a couple of jokes, maybe some triggering words if you are a little thin-skinned. I hope you are doing well; I hope you, too, had a unique and fantastic labor day. I hope you woke up with no snow, but for my friends in CO, join my queen and me in making our first snow angel of the year. Cheers, I’ll see you tomorrow!

“There is no other way to guard yourself against flattery than by making men understand that telling you the truth will not offend you.”

— Niccolò Machiavelli