Pink reflections: Conforming and Belonging

Like many others in New Zealand I was lucky enough to see Pink live in concert when she was here recently.? Someone I’ve long admired but my first time seeing her live.? What a show.? Such an amazing performance and so many things to admire.?

The fact she’s been at the top of her game for so long in a music industry which has changed so much.? The fact she now has fans that are daughters of her original fans and spans time in a way many artists can only dream of.? The fact that she remains so fit and strong with so much energy, despite being older than me and with two children now too.? So much to admire about this woman but what I admire the most is how she’s always been true to who she is, despite the pressure to be otherwise.

I remember when I first came across Pink, back in the nineties, not just for the love of her music, the messages she had, her ability to speak her own truth at a time when it was not popular for women to speak their mind or assert their views.? It won’t come as a surprise that she’s my hair and body idol and yet back then short hair and a strong body were not feminine, in fact those in the public eye faced a lot of vitriol and pressure to change their appearance to conform to the norm of what feminine should look like.? I remember many articles saying that Pink must be a lesbian, otherwise why would she look like that – it was never meant as a compliment and of course had nothing to do with her sexual orientation.

She’d broken a mould, failed to conform to the norms and what was expected of her and worse still she had a platform to celebrate those messages and her own opinions.?

Back then as I watched all this play out, most of what was being said as a negative I secretly aspired to be.? However, as a young, people pleasing girl. I grew my hair, tried to wear the right clothes and be feminine and conform so I wouldn’t become the target of this hatred. I imagine I’m not the only one with this story. Yet people like Pink were doing this regardless of the backlash they faced and this has allowed others to embrace who they are and stand in their own power too.

Fast forward to now and I’m finally comfortable in my body and have my hair cut as close to Pink’s as my hairdresser can manage!? I am a proud member of the rainbow community but also know this has nothing to do with how I chose to appear.? I’m not only comfortable in my own skin but confident in who I am and I think those two things are inextricably linked.

It is because of the likes of Pink who did this regardless of the pressure to change and stayed true to themselves that others, like me, were able to follow suit.? I’ve still got a way to go in replicating the physical power and muscle tone of this amazing human and won’t be abseiling across stadiums anytime soon but nor to I have to – we all have our own version of what it means to be us and how we follow in the footsteps of those who blaze a trail and do it in our own unique way.? This is how we belong, it’s how we bring our best and it makes for a better world.