The Pilot Who Never Flew
Masterminds Institute Training and Development Services Inc.
To help and contribute to positive change through leadership and developmental program.
Chapter 3 The Pilot Who Never Flew
How to Turn Your Fear into Faith (Feed Your Faith and Starve Your Fear) because “The only thing we should fear is fear itself” Franklin D. Roosevelt 32nd American President.
The eagle who died like a chicken…
Have you ever heard the story of an eagle who died like a chicken? It’s kind of absurd, right? How can an eagle die like a chicken? Well, if you haven’t heard of it, this eagle story is from LivingYourBestYearEver.com It’s an AMS or Achievement Management System. It is a proven system for achieving BIG GOALS from my mentor Darren Hardy. I will post a link at the end of this chapter so you too can have the resource that helped me achieve my (BHAG) Big and Hairy Audacious Goal or as we like to call it in our community “Banner Goals.”?
The story goes, one day a mother eagle laid down her egg up high in the mountain, but unfortunately, there was an earthquake, the eagle egg rolled down from its mother’s nest down to the valley and to a chicken farm. When the hen saw the huge eagle egg, the hen with its mother instinct took it to its nest and incubated it anyhow.? When the eagle egg finally hatched, it was bigger than all the baby chickens. And even though the baby eagle noticed very glaring differences from amongst all other chickens. The baby eagle still believes that he’s a chicken. Needless to say, the baby eagle thought and acted like a chicken. As the eagle grew among the chickens, he did what all the chickens did, believing he was a chicken too. Nobody teaches him how to fly. But every time he sees an eagle soaring high up in the sky. The eagle always tells himself that someday he dreams of flying and soaring in the sky too. But as the story goes the eagle will be told and will be ridiculed by his chicken family, and will tell him again and again that chickens can't fly. Although there’s a strong intuition, desire and for the eagle to fly. He felt it inside his heart, he did not even bother to try. Why? Because of the wrong identity, wrong belief wrong acculturation, wrong environment, wrong inputs, and wrong associations he lived every single day with his chicken family. So, the eagle died living and believing that he was a chicken. Sad to say it happens to us in many ways, we don’t live to our highest potential and the joyful life we all deserve because we are bombarded with other people's beliefs, influences that affect our desires, and dreams for our family, the time freedom, health, happiness and abundance in our life.?
Another story I would like to share is about an elephant who can’t defeat a small rope.
Have you ever asked yourself why a huge elephant cannot break from being tied with a thin rope and a tiny peg? It’s a bit puzzling right? Why an animal, so big and so strong that can carry huge wooden logs, cannot break through a thin rope and pull the tiny peg? Here’s why: When the elephant was just a baby, it was so excited to move around and run like a toddler. The baby elephant was tied by a rope strong enough to restrict itself from running around and getting loose. So, after a while, the baby elephant tried to break free from the bondage unsuccessfully.? It was a painful experience.? Its leg would get hurt whenever it tried to free itself.? The rope gave the elephant a fixed mindset.? This means that you think something is impossible and therefore not even gonna bother trying.? As the baby elephant grew older, it thought that breaking free from the rope was impossible and it should stop trying. All hope was gone. The elephant just accepted its fate.?
I found this to be true in my journey as an entrepreneur. There were many times that entrepreneurs and even will just give up their business because of the failures they have experienced When it comes to business, it’s like a wasted opportunity.? To see people not living to their highest capabilities is a sad but true reality. I just can’t help but to relate this to the parable of the talents. Eagles are supposed to fly high and elephants are supposed to be strong.
I think that the story of the chicken eagle and the baby elephant has become a reality for many people. I believe that has something to do with “Limiting Beliefs.” ?So, let me change with a question to cut the chase and dive down directly to the main topic of this chapter.
The? questions are:
In layman’s terms limiting belief is called “excusitis” and oh by the way, you can’t find the word “excusitis” in the Webster dictionary. You can’t even google it, because it’s a made-up word to describe making excuses for why things cannot be achieved or cannot be done. It is a disease more deadly than any virus, even Covid-19 is no match for it. Although excusitis sounds similar to many diseases like arthritis, meningitis, scoliosis, diabetes, paralysis-analysis, and many other chronic and degenerative diseases brought about by chronic cellular inflammation. Which will lead to you becoming sick or we’ll be dead in no time if you neglect your health and will not address the source of why you are getting sick or ill in the first place.
Excusitis stems from a person who tells you many negative things like, it’s useless to try, you’re not good enough, nobody likes you, you’re ugly, it’s not for you, you’re not capable, you’re not worth it, you’re not smart enough, you’re too old or too young for that, your experience is not enough, hey it’s only for the rich people, you’ll never amount to anything and finally they will go for the kill by saying to you that, you will never be successful. Ouch! It hurts right? Can you name a negative person like that? Of course, you can. But here’s the deal. Sometimes you will hear those words from other people. People who are just arrogant, nasty, cocky, inconsiderate, or plain and simple bad and negative ones. But oftentimes, admit it or not. It is you who tells those negative words to yourself unconsciously. We are unaware of why we do this self-sabotaging double-edged sharp swords to us. It’s like a self-inflicted wound, we hurt ourselves. We kill our dreams and it is sad.?
It also describes people who make a lot of excuses, hence the name.
Time to get serious now, pardon me for that invented “excusitis” word. I just heard from a speaker in a seminar that I attended a long time ago. But it hit me hard. I was guilty of what he said about limiting beliefs. He made me aware that I have many limiting beliefs and I thank him for that. It is not even a scientific name for a disease.?
Remember the word SMART in every goal-setting activity in your company, in your organization, or in a seminar that you attended. The key element to goal achieving should be SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time Bounded or Time Sensitive). But however simple and smart your goals are, if you are stricken with this deadly disease called “excusitis” your goals will surely die. Back when there were no video games and internet games there were many fun and educational games that I sometimes played together with my siblings and friends. Games like Scrabble, Chess, Checkers, and even board games like Games of the General, Monopoly, Snakes, and Ladders, trip to Jerusalem, and many other games that most Gen Xers played in our time. But I’d like to compare these Limiting Beliefs to “Blame Game.” In many instances, we have all played and we continuously playing this “Blame Game” in one way or another. Either you blame yourself or you blame others, but the latter happens in most cases.????
Another effect of this Limiting Belief could be the Impostor Syndrome, someone so influential in your life that keeps on telling you, “You are not worthy, forget trying, it’s not for you, hey, you’re not that talented, remember you failed the try-outs to join the varsity in high school and college. Hey, go ahead and embarrass yourself.”, and many more as mentioned earlier. The sad truth about this impostor syndrome thing is that the person who is so influential and mysterious that is telling you that you can’t do this and you can’t do that is YOU. Maybe unconsciously or consciously.?
I attended a John Maxwell online training course entitled “Speaking for Influence Training.? A trainer there named ? “The subconscious mind is more powerful than the conscious mind,” Roddy Galbraith, our trainer there explained. The key point here again is awareness. To bring the unconscious, conscious, so that we can tame and train our mind to focus only on what's good in us. Focus our attention on our strengths, not on our weaknesses. To feed our faith and starve our fear. “All that is required of us is to give our best,” Rody said. It may sound so simple and obvious but I find the words of Rody very essential. Because giving our best in everything that we do, is like giving our love, our passion. And the result will just be consequential. Furthermore, it is reassuring because everybody can give their best. There is no better way to explain this impostor syndrome very simply by quoting Tony Robbins. “The only thing that’s keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself.”
I will also share the link to where you can enroll in either the John Maxwell Academy or the John Maxwell Team.
The Growth Gap…
Here’s another discovery or very important lesson I learned on why many people seem to be missing their mark living below their true capacity and never realizing their dreams. I highly encourage you to check the book “The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth.” One of the most profound books I have ever read is by John Maxwell. When I started my personal development journey. I was introduced to the idea of goal setting, somehow this goal setting started that inner drive in me, my core motivation to dream BIG dreams again. And honestly speaking it excites me every time I hit my goals. But those were just small and maybe not yet in that “SMART” goal context that I explained here. It says in the book and I quote “If you focus on goals, you may hit goals, but that doesn’t guarantee growth. If you focus on growth, you will always hit your goals.” Unquote. The problem with me was that I am more of a goal-oriented person but not growth-oriented. And the obvious reason for that was that I didn’t have a growth plan at that time. Most of my goals are born out of necessity because if I don't achieve my goal, it will have a detrimental effect on the survival of my family. Although at that time I am no longer smoking, no more excessive drinking and I’m not an addict anymore. But I am still not yet “out of the woods,” in terms of health, financial and relational stability. I’m still in a rat race. And my salary is sometimes not even enough to get by for a week. It’s a hand-to-mouth situation. I didn’t have that much desire to grow. My mindset is to work for the bills and not for my dreams. It never crossed my mind that I could still be a pilot. That I can still build our Dream House travel the world with my family and create happy memories.
There were eight (8) growth gaps mentioned in the book that explain why people don’t grow. Well, growth is not automatic. Unlike our human body, plants and animals. Yes, we advance in age and we get older but growth? I don’t think so. The truth is some gets better but more gets bitter. Unless we become intentional in our growth. Among the eight growth gaps, the one that strikes me the most is the knowledge gap. “I don’t know how to grow.”
It is said that the three most powerful influences in our lives are environment, input, and association. And for me to grow and become the person capable of achieving every goal that I set. I must be intentional in growing myself.
I point to these epiphanies because I want you to understand that I took one hundred percent ownership of all the misfortunes that have happened to me. I quit playing the blame game ever since. After all, the only thing I can control and manage is myself. I have learned the hard way that if I want to become a person of consequence, I must grow from the inside and my surroundings will grow alongside me. As Jim Rohn would say. “If you want your life to be better, you must become better. If you want your life to improve, you must improve yourself.”?
Fast forward to how this growth mindset has helped me experience many blessings and opened more doors of opportunities in life, and I can confidently say that I have grown into the person I am now. The person I should have been twenty years earlier. If only I had planned to grow in my younger years. Imagine 17 years of drug addiction. That's how environment, input, and association can be your best friend or your worst enemy.
Last December 29, 2021, I did a year-end review of the 10 greatest happenings in my life for the year 2021 before I said goodbye and before I welcomed the new year 2022. I was amazed by all these milestones that happened in my life. That made me even more grateful to God. It was, as if God, sent the prophet Jeremiah to tell me; “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
Here are the top 10 greatest achievements for 2021 in no particular order;
And last but not the least,. to bottom line all the messages I want to convey in this Chapter to help you boost your confidence and that belief in yourself, that you can grow to become the person you are created to be. The person you also wanted and believed you could become. No matter what circumstances you are in now or what you have gone through. Because your past does not determine your future. If you will just focus all your attention on growing yourself. Make a plan to grow and develop your life. Please hear me now. I will tell you this not to impress you but to impress upon you my beloved reader that if I, Ariel Tolentino, a former drug addict, just a high school graduate, with no exceptional talent and high level of education, no experience in business, no well-known parents, no special training whatsoever, was able to grow and improved myself and my life, then you can do this too. Everybody else can do it. So just do it.?
Now for No. 10. This is exciting! Last December 16 together with my new Mentor Captain G.H. Garcia I flew my first discovery flight with a Cessna Airplane we took off from a grassy plain in Pampanga. I was the happiest person on earth. The Pilot who never flew has finally flown. I can feel that soulful fulfillment. That was something that money cannot buy. I know that was just the beginning. And speaking of which, Captain G.H. and I planned to set up our flying school in the future and we will call it “Black & White Flying School. We already have the DTI Registration. This is our New Mission now! To pay it forward to those dreamers and doers. To those who have a GROWTH PLAN.
As Jim Rohn said. It is not what you get, it’s what you become. Because what you become attracts.”
In this covid-19 time and age, we’ve been introduced to the so-called, “New Normal”. New normal in the sense that we will not go back to the old ways, especially when it comes to communications for Filipinos in general. Because teleconferencing and video conferencing have been a regular practice in most of the Western and European world. Webinars and online meetings are not new to them.?
But this pandemic in the Philippine setting has revolutionized the way we do our meetings. From face-to-face or in-person only, to virtual or online meetings. From offline to Online. Not only in meetings, conferences, concerts, religious ceremonies, seminars turned webinars. Particularly in academics. My three beautiful children Miguel, Jana, and Anton are attending school online. Of course, there are pros and cons of this Covid thing. But personally speaking. I have never been so productive in my whole life because of this pandemic. Just imagine the time we save on traveling or commuting just to attend or deliver our presentation at a meeting. There were often when we spent more time traveling to get to the meeting than the meeting itself. Not only we were able to save time in traffic. It also saves us an enormous amount of stress and money.?
For a person like me, who’s always traveling and frequents the airport two to three times a month, I would say that this pandemic has more positive side than negative side. But that would mean I am arrogant. I do not want to sound like some jerk or an insensitive person who doesn’t care for anybody except for my well-being. Because frankly speaking “people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Said John Maxwell.?
Let me point you again to my first book “Significant Living” so you can connect the dots yourself. Again, I mean no offense by saying that there are more positive sides happening in this pandemic. I am not celebrating the lives that were lost because of the virus, because some of them are very dear to my heart are my relatives and elders in our community Couples for Christ. And countless lives have been affected by the loss of jobs and bankruptcy.?
So, now that I made my point clear. Please do not get mad at me and please do not bash me on social media. I know you will agree with me when I say, “We have never been that close and intimate with our family literally because of this Lockdown.” Why? Because we are restricted from going out. It was March 15, 2020, when the government declared this ECQ or the Enhanced Community Quarantine. It was the highest level of restriction at that time. Most, if not all of the industries were forced to close and stop its operation. No one was allowed to go out except for our modern-day Heroes. The REAL heroes! Our “Frontliners.”?
Let me just point out again how this “New Normal” affects our lives. Would you believe me when I say to you that even weddings can be done online? Yeah, it sounds crazy! You may not believe me. But it’s true! And I wish I was exaggerating but I’m not. I know this for a fact because that is exactly what happened or what my friend Alex Gomez did. He’s in the United States and he marries her fiancé here in the Philippines. I don't know how they did that. But they did it anyway.?
Your vagus nerve
For the Concluding Part. But that was a thing of the past. There’s more to life than just paying my bills. I have concluded and become so clear that I am not here living on earth just to “work to live” but rather I should “live to work.” We were not created to become a machine or a robot. We live to grow, to contribute, to share our talents, time, and treasure to help and make a difference in someone else’s life. To have an impact and influence people to be better by the growth they see in us. By how we show up and demonstrate how we are growing in all aspects of our lives. Not just the “Work+Life=Balance Equation.” As I have been living before. It is like dividing my “24/7” time. I live my life every day. Eight (8) hours of working time. Eight (8) hours of sleeping time. The other eight (8) hours of my day will be spent commuting to and from work, watching sensationalized threats and alert news media in the morning show and before going to bed with the late-night news. I wasted so much time watching TV, screen-sucking attention, distorting social media, and mostly reading bad news while reading the newspaper.?
If you’re an observant person you can easily see that there’s no balance in that “work+life=balance equation. Where’s the time for my family and my God??
That is why this' 'Sunday Family Time'' for me and others like me is so “Big Deal.” Because that is the only time you can spend quality time with family and for God. Well, maybe it’s just me because I need to spend two hours getting to my work. So, I would wake up at 5:00 am while my children were still sleeping. Then because of the rush hours and oftentimes overtime at work to have extra income. I will be arriving around 9:00 pm or 10:00 pm. I’ll be lucky if I arrive while my children are still awake, but that’s very seldom. I have proven to myself that that was a wrong formula. I have set up myself to fail in that equation. I got it all wrong to begin with. That is why I did not grow because I have that wrong mindset. I was using the wrong map.
Fast forward to the present time, here’s my formula now. Self-love (our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, if you take care of the temple, that to me is the best expression of the greatest commandment which is loving God and loving thy neighbor) + Personal development (meaning having a growth mindset and powerful belief in yourself that you are a child of God and you can do wonders) = Soulful Fulfillment. Not just happiness not abundance it is more than that.
So here’s what my day looks like;
Wake up at 5:00 am and spend thirty minutes of deep, quiet time and stillness silence praying and scripture reading. Asking for direction and guidance. Sometimes up to forty-five minutes. Then 2 hours of personal development, reading, writing, and speaking training to enhance the skills I needed to grow even more. Including some stretching and light exercises. By the time the clock hits 8:00 am, I have invested more time in my growth. Then I got to spend the morning hours having breakfast with my family. After that, I cooked for our lunch. Then that’s the time to do my business. At 9:00 pm I will write my grateful journal and read at least five pages of a good book or watch inspirational videos, or a short quality movie to calm my mind and sleep like a baby.
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