Pi Day Red Mike Message: Stop Explaining Yourself

Good morning!

Welcome back to the Red Mike, and happy Pi Day!

If you don’t know what I mean by that, just look at the calendar—you’ll figure it out.

Today's Red Mike Message: Stop Explaining Yourself

Of course, you have to explain yourself to your boss—and maybe your boss’s boss—but too often, people waste time justifying their choices to those who don’t understand, don’t have skin in the game, or simply don’t matter.

The truth is, you don’t owe most people an explanation. Not for what you do at work. Not for how you live your life. Frank Sinatra said it best (and Elvis remade it): I did it my way. Talk about an anthem for living life on your own terms.

If you’re making choices aligned with your values, your integrity, and your goals, do you really need to justify them to anyone? People who haven’t walked your path don’t need to understand it. Sure, for those close to you—your family, your inner circle—you may want to explain your reasoning. But most people? They’re just noise.

It’s just live your life, "be who you are at all times"—thank you, Marty Stuart.

R.E.M.'s advice: "Save yourself, Serve Yourself."

It’s not selfish. It’s survival.

People will always have opinions, but you’re the one who has to live with the results—good, bad, or indifferent. So why waste time trying to win over people who don’t contribute to your success?

I’m making a concerted effort to stop arguing on the Internet. I have my opinions, others have theirs. I’ll post my thoughts, people will comment, and my worst habit is responding. But here’s the thing: if people want to make assumptions about who I am based on a meme, a news article, or a comment—okay. Let them. They’re going to think what they’re going to think, and I’m going to keep thinking what I think.

Instead of justifying myself, I’m taking my own advice: stop explaining. People who actually know me already know what I stand for. And if someone genuinely wants to understand, they can reach out privately. Otherwise, I’m not wasting my time.

Lessons from the Joker, Don Draper, and Norm

The Joker in The Dark Knight didn’t care about public perception. His whole attitude was summed up in one sentence: "I don’t have to explain myself to you."

Now, I’m not saying take life advice from the Joker, but there’s truth in the idea that you don’t need permission or approval from others to do what’s right for you. Be a good human. If doing what’s best for you is bad, then don’t do it.

The Golden Rule works in theory: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. But what if you’re a masochist? No—then don’t do unto others what you would have them do unto you. Any sentence, any guideline, any advice can be twisted if you think about it the wrong way. Just try to be a good human. Try not to hurt anybody. Put your best out into the universe and see what comes back.

And then there’s Don Draper. A jerk? Yeah. But he got things done, and he did it in spite of what anybody else thought. Remember when Peggy was complaining that he never said thank you? His response: "That’s what the money’s for."

Like him or not, you can’t deny that’s accurate. She was sitting there whining about getting feedback and wanting a pat on the head, and he reminded her—I pay you. Do I agree with that attitude? No. But that was Don Draper. That’s the way he thought about life.

Or when that guy came up to him in the elevator and said, "I feel sorry for you."

Draper’s response? "I don’t think about you at all."

Cold.

Mic drop.

Walk away.

Stop apologizing for being decisive. Stop explaining yourself to people who don’t care and are just trying to impose their ideas, their will, or their ego onto you.

When you stop explaining yourself, a few things happen:

You waste less energy trying to please people.

You build confidence by owning your choices instead of seeking validation.

You free yourself from approval-seeking and focus on what actually matters—your goals, your priorities, your success.

If you make decisions based on your values, your integrity, and your goals, then at the end of all of this, you’re responsible for your own path.

Live your life on your own terms. Let people think what they want, and move forward anyway.

And then you too, like old Frank, can look up and say: I did it my way.

That’s today’s Red Mike Message.

I hope you found it helpful. Go out and have a great Friday. Since it’s Pi Day, go grab a piece of pie—unless you gave it up for Lent. In that case, you do you.

I appreciate you. Have a great weekend.

And as always…

Life is short. Drink the bourbon.

Red Mike Messages are leadership and life lessons I’ve picked up from 25 years as a public servant, 16 years as a youth football coach and scouting volunteer and 10 years as a mediocre athlete with far more heart than actual physical ability