Phrases you Mustn’t Utter to a Woman in Tech

How many of us have been undermined, demeaned, and even ridiculed by people solely because of our gender? Sometimes words said in humor or casualness carry internalized misogyny and stereotypes that don’t let people see women in power or something other than what’s expected of them.

We asked our female colleagues what phrases pinch them the most and what things they hear at a workplace.

Here are some phrases that you must avoid saying to a woman in tech or ANY woman working in a setup.

1. “You Can’t Do It”

Telling anyone, regardless of gender, "You can't do it," is inherently detrimental and discouraging. However, when directed at a woman in the tech industry, it carries additional weight due to existing gender biases and stereotypes.

?Such a statement undermines the woman's confidence and self-belief in her abilities. It suggests that she lacks the competence or capability to succeed in a technical field solely based on her gender, disregarding her skills, knowledge, and potential contributions.

2. “You are Pretty Good at Coding for a Girl”

The statement "You are pretty good at coding for a girl" is not only condescending but also perpetuates harmful gender stereotypes in the tech industry.

It implies that coding is a skill primarily associated with men, and any proficiency displayed by a woman is surprising or exceptional. This reinforces the false notion that women are inherently less capable in technical fields, which is not supported by evidence.? It suggests that her success is an exception to the norm, rather than acknowledging her as a competent professional in her own right.

3. “That’s too Complicated for You”

The statement "That's too complicated for you" is dismissive and demeaning, especially when directed at a woman in the tech industry. it undermines the woman's capabilities and intelligence, suggesting that she lacks the capacity to understand or handle complex technical concepts or tasks.?

This perpetuates the harmful stereotype that women are inherently less competent in technical fields, which has been repeatedly debunked by research and real-world examples of women excelling in such domains. it discourages the woman from seeking out challenges and pushing herself to grow professionally. By implying that certain tasks or concepts are beyond her grasp, it stifles her ambition and potential for advancement in her career.

Saying "That's too complicated for you" to a woman in tech is not only disrespectful but also counterproductive to creating an inclusive and diverse tech community. It's essential to recognize and value everyone's potential and contributions based on merit, rather than preconceived notions or stereotypes.

4. “Are you Sure you are Technical Enough to Handle that?”?

The statement "Are you sure you are technical enough to handle that?" is patronizing and undermines a woman's competence and expertise in the tech industry. Questioning a woman's technical aptitude in this manner can erode her confidence and sense of belonging in the industry. It sends the message that she is not perceived as capable or qualified, which can lead to feelings of imposter syndrome and self-doubt. Moreover, such comments contribute to a culture of bias and discrimination in the tech industry, where women may face additional barriers to recognition and advancement. By questioning a woman's technical competence, it reinforces existing inequalities and impedes efforts to create a more inclusive and diverse workforce.

5. “Do you need help setting up your computer? It can be complicated”

Offering assistance with setting up a computer can be a friendly gesture, but when accompanied by the statement "It can be complicated," it can inadvertently convey a patronizing attitude, especially if directed towards a woman in the tech industry. While setting up technology can indeed pose challenges, assuming that someone may struggle due to their gender undermines their competence and knowledge. Instead, it's essential to offer assistance without making assumptions about the individual's technical proficiency. A more inclusive approach would be to ask if they'd like any support with the setup process, respecting their autonomy and acknowledging their capabilities. This fosters a more positive and respectful environment where everyone feels valued and empowered in their technological endeavors.

6. “You should smile more during meetings. It would make you more approachable.”

Telling a woman, or anyone for that matter, to "smile more during meetings" is inappropriate and reinforces gender stereotypes in the workplace. This statement suggests that a woman's primary role is to appear pleasant and accommodating rather than focusing on her professional contributions and ideas. It places undue emphasis on appearance over substance and implies that her value lies in her demeanor rather than her skills and expertise. Moreover, such comments can make women feel uncomfortable and self-conscious, detracting from their ability to fully engage and contribute in meetings. Instead of policing women's expressions, it's important to prioritize their ideas and contributions based on merit, fostering an environment where everyone feels respected and valued for their professional abilities.

7. “I can't believe a woman came up with such a brilliant idea!”

The statement "I can't believe a woman came up with such a brilliant idea!" is deeply problematic when directed towards a woman in tech, as it reinforces harmful gender stereotypes and undermines her expertise and contributions. By expressing surprise at a woman's ability to generate innovative ideas in a technical field, it perpetuates the false notion that women are inherently less capable in STEM domains. Moreover, it reflects a biased mindset that fails to recognize and appreciate the diverse talents and capabilities of individuals regardless of gender. Such remarks not only belittle the woman's accomplishments but also contribute to a culture of discrimination and inequality in the tech industry. It's imperative to challenge such attitudes and foster an environment where all individuals are valued and respected for their skills and achievements, irrespective of gender.

8. “You must have gotten this job because they needed to fill a diversity quota”

The statement "You must have gotten this job because they needed to fill a diversity quota" is dismissive and undermines a woman's professional accomplishments in the tech industry. By attributing her success solely to her gender or minority status, it diminishes her skills, qualifications, and hard work. This assertion overlooks the rigorous selection process and overlooks the woman's competence and suitability for the role. Moreover, it perpetuates the harmful stereotype that diversity initiatives undermine meritocracy, when in reality, diverse teams have been shown to enhance innovation and problem-solving. Such comments not only undermine the woman's confidence but also contribute to a toxic work environment where individuals are unfairly judged based on factors beyond their control. It's essential to recognize and value individuals for their talents and contributions, rather than reducing their achievements to tokenism or quotas.