The Essense of Connection

The Essence of Connection:

I am a CONNECTOR. A lover of people, chance meetings, random conversations, and opportunities to deepen my circle.

For some, building CONNECTION is a daunting task comparable to getting a tooth pulled, cleaning the basement, or doing annual reviews!

Let’s face it, building CONNECTIONS takes work!

NETWORKING and putting yourself OUT THERE can be scary. SO most avoid it.

They don’t brush up on the necessary skills to be a successful CONNECTOR. Worse, they avoid opportunities to build meaningful CONNECTION altogether!

This dilemma has been compounded by days spent indoors on our computers, and on SOCIAL PAUSE. YET we will all need to RE-EMERGE eventually.

Here are my Favorite NETWORKING TIPS for BUILDING COMMUNITY and creating DEEPER CONNECTIONS!

COMMON GROUND:

If you talk to someone long enough you WILL ALWAYS find a COMMON GROUND.

Perhaps a love of reading, cooking, exercise, dining out, Scuba Diving, SOMETHING? Maybe you share a common business goal? Where you went to school? A way you can GIVE or support one another. (HOLD THAT THOUGHT).

A way to CONNECT.

OPENNESS and OPEN-MINDEDNESS:

At first certain people may not seem like your typical candidate for building a CONNECTION. You know, not YOUR TYPE. Isn’t that a good thing? You are, looking to grow and expand, CORRECT? To learn new things. To GIVE and not necessarily GET?

I have a NON-CLUMPING RULE at functions. Never stay, and only CONNECT with the people you come in with. ALWAYS EXPAND YOUR CIRCLE. If someone seems DIFFERENT than you, even more reason to CONNECT with them!

NO- NONSENSE:

What you see is what you get.

NO EXCUSES- NO KIDDING.

I will be the same person you met at the function when you call me the next day, week, or year.

If I say I am going to do something I will follow through. If I cannot, I will tell you I cannot, HONESTLY. I will not SUGARCOAT or APOLOGIZE because you know you can rely on me for the next ask.

NETWORKING WORKS:

My Grandfather taught me, “OPPORTUNITIES are not going to knock on your door, you need to go out and get them”.

As a successful sales veteran, I understand that successful salespeople are not the ones with largest pipelines, but the ones with the MOST WELL VETTED.

Building CONNECTION is STRATEGIC. That my dear reader is NOT what YOU would think I mean by STRATEGIC. It is not about what you GET when build strategic relationships, but just the OPPOSITE.

My father taught me, “To GIVE and not worry about what I would GET in return.” That he said, “You can sort out in the end.”

When I meet a CONNECTION, I think ONLY about what I can BRING to the CONNECTION, not what I will GET in return. What can I TEACH them? Who can I INTRODUCE them too? What can I SHARE?

We usually DO sort it out in the end. If we DON’T my life is richer for meeting an awesome fellow human.

EMPATHY:

The definition of EMPATHY is the ability to understand and share the emotions of another.

Probably my favorite CONNECTION tip, “Listen More, Talk Less.”

People want to be heard, REALLY HEARD, and VALIDATED. One of biggest gifts you can give another human being is to let them know you truly HEAR them, and that you UNDERSTAND.

I also ask clarifying questions.

IF I UNDERSTOOD YOU CORRECTLY? CAN YOU REPEAT THAT SO I MAKE SURE I HEARD YOU?

You would be surprised what you do not hear correctly, especially in a loud room.

COMMITMENT:

Networking takes WORK! It is in the name.

CONNECTIONS do not just happen they need to be nurtured.

This calls for GIVE and TAKE, TRAIL and ERROR, and making an APPEARANCE, even when you just do not feel like it.

We have been placed in a virtual social holding pattern for almost two years. Don’t you feel silly complaining about attending ONE MORE LIVE NETWORKING FUNCTION?

TEAMWORK:

National Account Salespeople are Master CONNECTORS! Seriously they are masters at the craft. THE GOLD STANDARD!

They understand two major things.

“I get by with a little help from my friends!” and a CONNECTION is meant to be SHARED with the Team.

The TEAM, all fellow National Account Salespeople.

They have built an invisible web across the Nation where they share CONNECTIONS, plan events, lend and ear, hand or ANYTHING -if that is what is required.

Cool to watch- honored to participate in. There is definitely NO I in TEAM!

INTUITION:

DON’T lay all your cards on the table. EVER!

Would you invite someone you first met home to meet your parents? Would you lend them your car? Then WHY would you say too much about yourself, or company at a Networking Function? Worst, SHARE TO MUCH about your personal life and future aspirations?

Ever hire a prospective job candidate at a first interview or Networking Function on a hunch? Don’t laugh, happens all the time! DID IT WORK OUT?

Better to hold back a bit. Take your time!

Make sure the CONNECTION and CULTURAL fit is real. A true MUTUAL FIT. This takes TIME and INTUITION. Then let it unfold one juicy tidbit, soundbite, word of comfort or favor at a time!

ON TO THE NEXT:

Sometimes we JUST DON’T CLICK?

What do you do?

Sometimes there is nothing you can do.

The CONNECTION is just not a good fit.

You SHOULD cut your losses and move on; it is a big planet after all.

So many people make the mistake of seeking the attention of ONE SPECIFIC PERSON or OPPORTUNITY at a Networking Function.

You can actually see them following them to the bathroom! Unfortunately, they forget there are MANY OTHER PEOPLE and OPPORTUNITIES that hold a magic key?

NEVER GIVE UP:

Is there a glimmer of hope, even in these NON-CLICKING SITUATIONS?

Are these CONNECTIONS, RELATIONSHIPS and OPPORTUNITIES sometimes worth taking a SECOND LOOK?

I say absolutely, YES!

Just like when building PERSONAL CONNECTIONS, some new BUSINESS CONNECTIONS do deserve a deeper dive.

For me, and I would guess most people reading this, your CONNECTIONS are interchangeable. My BUSINESS CONNECTIONS have become my closest and most valued friends.

Ironically, I have found that my MOST beneficial CONNECTIONS have come out of relationships which DIDN’T CLICK at first. This holds true in both my business and personal life.

In business especially, OPPOSITES SHOULD attract as this is a MAJOR PLUS!

You will CHALLENGE one another.

You will bring DIFFERENT SKILL sets to the table and from this you will LEARN and then GROW!

…. And isn’t that the essence of NETWORKING, CONNECTION and building COMMUNITY?!

#community #networking #connections #networkingworks