Phone books and the age of treason

Last week I was lucky enough to meet a fellow who I hope will become a great business colleague. We were introduced by a mutual contact and it quickly become apparent why he thought we should connect. His rapid and amicable commercial banter, barely concealed his quick mind and strong values systems. His conversation meandered fearlessly into offering polarising opinions, stories of self deprecation and unsettling perception.

He offered praise and insight generously.

But this wasn't why the stars aligned and we were encouraged to meet. It was because at a certain point he laughed at me and said ....' Oh, you have 'values' - that's a real bitch, hey?'. He then grinned and playfully mocked me.

I grasped my chest with a touch of theatre and I nodded and said, 'Oh yes, it sucks most days ...'.

Even though our banter was light and the sunshine sparkling, my professional heart was heavy.

Possessing 'Values' is as frustrating as it is comforting when things line up and you're delighted by someone's behaviour. But almost daily, I find people test values rather than celebrate or preserve their values when given a test of faith. Now I don't know why this is the case and why we don't gravitate to values driven organisations or people more often?  

We all rabbit on about loyalty, honesty and doing unto others that you would have them do to you - but are you really prepared to push aside the moment of gain when presented with a moment of value?

So what of phonebooks?

Once upon a time, phonebooks were available in every telephone box. Yes, a little box that was made available for people to make calls. There were always a few scratched names on the windows if you were looking for a girl/guy offering a 'Good time'. Sort of like an early version of Tinder with a dash of Doctor Who.

My lads were discussing the phone box phenomena and they looked in surprise when I said that phone books were readily available and left in every phone box; made available so the next person looking for a phone number could use it and easily make a call.

In long orderly lines, our names, address and home phone numbers were displayed for all who would read. Who doesn't remember the joy of ringing up 'Mr Willys' from Goodwood or prank calling Mrs FairBottom at Largs. Such fun  ... :)

They looked at me with a mixture of bewilderment, mild shock and amusement.

'But what of safety, Mum? How crazy to have your details all displayed so someone could steal it.'

They cackled with laughter and mocked the companies and people who would do such a quaint thing as leaving a 'book' for shared use.

'But most phone boxes are always vandalised, filthy and broken now days - who uses them?? They are data points now anyway...'

I sighed and felt that heaviness of a Value Clash and I tried to muster the energy to explain that it hasn't always been like that and we all sort of agreed to leave it there for the next person. All because the book wasn't nailed down didn't mean you were entitled to destroy, steal or hide the phonebook.

The offering of a convenient book was not a na?ve gesture filled with danger, it was the reflection of a value we held and we had counter systems in place that meant only the shit heads would contravene that value and people ought to feel ashamed if they got caught. Vandalism was for the 'bad kids' and stalking/pranks calls had a boundary that if you stepped over, would result in consequences.

I still remember the frozen fear I had when my father burst in on my girlfriends and  (he'd been listening on the extension phone) he suggested he contact these people we'd been harassing and make us apologise.

Now what does a phone book have to do with a sparkling day on Hutt Street?

As that clever person pointed out, people who FEEL and HAVE true values are often weighed down by them. And people with good values don't talk about honesty, trustworthiness and loyalty - they just live it.

They're pained when they see 'value-less' behaviour going on and confused when the proverbial phone book is stolen from the once working telephone box. They're the reliable ones, the ones who say thanks and they never ask a favour without looking forward to the day of reciprocating.  

I heard someone at the office say today 'A lot of people are dishonest these days ...like, really dishonest.... only doing things for themselves ....' and there was not a hint of pain nor being weighed down in this statement. Just a chirpy but numb commentary on life.

I must confess I was weighed down to hear this.

Because without honesty and a collective value of not lying, then where are we headed? Fake news, BS votes, emperors clothing or a world where smart talking con people get ahead?

You can try to tell me where we're headed, but I suspect I will no longer believe you.

 Long Live Phone Books.