The Pet Parent Home Hierarchy

A good pet-parent is the one who understands his/her dog’s behavior pattern and then can take corrective action to remedy the bad behaviors. Yes, most often than not, your pets will do the things that you don’t like, but that doesn’t mean that we should get angry and lose control. Anything controlled through anger will only increase the frustration and will prove to be damaging in the long run.?

I stay in Shillong and our house is a pack of 10, comprising 5 humans and 5 dogs. Each of our pet-kids reacts to the humans in the house in a particular way and it clearly indicates that a hierarchy exists. It cannot be a random fact that all my five kids react to my mother the same way and behave differently with my father and then in a different way with Eva (my wife) and me. I realized this by observing my kids and identifying how they reacted to me and my family members. After noting down my learnings, I observed other pet-parents and their pet-kids. I identified that there is a behavior pattern of our pet-kids and if we pet-parents can decode it, life becomes easier and joyous for both of us.?

Based on my learnings, I have identified a hierarchical framework that exists in a pet-parent home. I have tested this framework in other pet-parents’ homes and can tell you that it works. This simple framework outlines the hierarchy of humans in the pet-parent home. I have used terminologies like Alpha, Beta, Gamma to make it easier to understand as these terminologies have been existing in the pet-parenting world for a long time. Do not be captured by these words alone, instead try to understand the meaning of the terminologies, correlate to your house, identify how your pets behave with you, and then, you will know where you stand.

As a pet-parent, one must remember that all family members cannot be alphas. The framework shown here guides how your pet may be ranking you and then behaving with you. This framework is a simple guideline that will let a pet-parent quickly understand where they stand in the hierarchy of the house. If you are assuming that you are the boss just because you are human then you are far from being correct.

Gamma: Your pet is the COMMANDER – In this scenario, the human is afraid of the pet and hence tries to avoid interacting or playing much with the pet. Humans tend to keep interactions to a minimum; they hardly pet the pet or even feed. If they try feeding, chances are they throw the food to the pet instead of feeding with their hands. Animals can sense fear easily and a Gamma is a person who is afraid of the pet. In this scenario, how do you think the pet will react? The pet will be bossy, will bark, and even bite this person. In a pet-parents’ house, one or more people can be the Gamma. Are you a Gamma?

Beta of Usefulness: Your pet USES you for their needs – Even though this is better than Gamma, it is still not the ideal status to be in. Your pets will be close to you when they need something or cuddle near you when they see you cooking something they like. In this status, your pets will dictate or try to please you when they want something but otherwise ignore you. Are you a Beta of usefulness?

Alpha of Fear: Your pet FEARS you – This is another state where you should not be in. You can easily identify if you are the alpha of fear, based on how your dogs react to you when you scold them. If they tremble, cower, try to hide, and growl when you go near them, understand that they fear you and feel cornered. Remember that a cornered animal is a dangerous one. So, if you are the alpha of fear, then sooner or later your dogs are going to snap at you. This behavior of your pet may have developed because you use physical restrains or punishment on them. If you are doing this, then stop right now! Are you the Alpha of Fear?

Beta of Love: You are the PROTECTOR – This is the best state to be in. In this state, you are the mother of your kids. They love you, follow you, and will always want to be close to you. You will not have to train them much, yet they will come to you when you call them. They will want to be with you all the time and they will want to follow you wherever you go. Like every human child who adores his/her mother, the Beta of Love is the mother that the pet-kids adore and go to when they need protection. Most often than not, it is the person who feeds them regularly who ends up being the Beta of love. A dog very rarely bites the hand that feeds. However, in this stage, they will not train with you, you are not the trainer yet. Are you the Beta of Love?

Alpha of Respect: You are the COMMANDER – Consider this position as the father; a father who is respected, listened to, and obeyed. He or she is the one who can train the pets and make them behave. When the father scolds, they don’t tremble or cower, instead; they feel sad because they were scolded and most often, they will try to give you extra love so that you can forgive them. Your pets will follow you when you take them out and obey your commands. However, if given a choice between Beta of Love and Alpha of Respect, their reaction can swing in any direction. I have known a few pet-parents who are both the Beta of Love and Alpha of Respect at the same time and the control they have on their pet-kids is admirable. Their pet-kids love them and do everything they are told to do. They are even able to make a breed like Husky follow them everywhere without a lease, without putting in a lot of effort to train them. Are you the Alpha of Respect?

Does the Pet Parent Home Hierarchy resonate with you??

Are you worried because you are not in stage 1 or 2?

Are you an Alpha of fear and want to change?

If all these questions are going on in your mind, then rest assured that you can grow within these stages and become an Alpha of Respect. The beta of love is generally not a stage to achieve easily because the beta of love is the person who has a special emotional bond with the pet, and one cannot replicate that bond by showing and enforcing good behavior.

Connect with me if you have any queries about the Pet Parent Home Hierarchy and I will happy to help.