Persuasion, influence, manipulation, assertiveness

Imagine a bustling marketplace of human interaction. Persuasion, influence, and assertiveness set up shop with their colorful agendas on full display, like vibrant market stalls offering their wares.

However, manipulation sneaks in concealing its intentions beneath a cloak of secrecy. It's as if manipulation wears an enigmatic mask, its true purpose only unveiled at the grand finale.

Four distinct personas of interaction

Step into the world of communication dynamics and human psychology, where the art of interaction takes center stage.

1. Persuasion

Persuasion is convincing others to change their point of view, accept a commitment, buy a product or service, or take an action.

Persuasive skills are valued in any workplace. Sales is the most obvious form of persuasion, but this skill is used in many other situations as well.

Managers persuade their employees to do various tasks and organize presentations to convince their superiors to increase their budgets.

Persuasion has been used since ancient times as part of the act of leading. However, the channels through which persuasive messages reach the target audience have changed, as well as the speed with which they circulate.

The impressive amount of persuasive messages we are subjected to every day today demands much more subtle strategies, more complex reasoning.

2. Influence

Influence is an individual's ability to transform and shape the opinions of others. So influencing in the workplace is a process of transforming the behaviors of employees.

Influence is one of the important skills needed by every individual, regardless of the hierarchical position in the workplace.

Leaders will influence through their behaviors, communication style and actions.

In the way they influence, a leader must demonstrate integrity and transparency, impeccable communication skills, the ability to provide constructive feedback, and emotional intelligence.

It takes time, focus, practice and experience to acquire advanced influencing skills.

3. Assertiveness

Assertive people are confident, self-assured, take action when needed, speak clearly and decisively about what they want or don't want from others around them.

In psychology, behaviors can be divided into three categories: passive, aggressive and assertive.

Assertiveness is a communication style and a personality trait that involves expressing one's thoughts, feelings, needs, and boundaries in a respectful and direct manner, while considering the rights and feelings of others.

It lies at the heart of healthy social interactions and plays a crucial role in personal and professional relationships.

Therefore, a person without assertiveness is considered to become socially ineffective because they cannot communicate what they want adequately.

4. Manipulation

Psychological manipulation is a type of social influence that seeks to change the perception or behavior of others through covert, deceptive, or even abusive tactics.

Because the manipulator only pursues his own interests, often at the expense of others, these methods can be considered exploitative, immoral, and deceptive.

Manipulation in the business world involves having hidden agendas. Usually manipulation is an attempt to coerce or subtly control another person to do what the manipulator wants that person to think, feel or do.

We need to guard against manipulation when things are not going our way. When we are in such situations we have at hand a powerful tool to discover reality: discernment.

Persuasion techniques

According to the well-known psychologist Robert Cialdini, author of the book "The Psychology of Persuasion", the six techniques of persuasion are:

Reciprocity – For example, if we give a gift to someone, they will feel an obligation to do us a favor or respond to our request. However, for reciprocity to be effective, Cialdini states that a gift must be special, unexpected and personalized.

Rarity – People tend to be more interested in certain products when they know they are unavailable. This principle works especially in cases where certain products are presented as "limited stock" or on the occasion of Black Friday. These are emotional buying decisions.

Authority – People with expertise in a certain field, such as doctors, architects or lawyers, make us feel a sense of conformity and acceptance of what they say. So, we will trust them and let ourselves be influenced by what they recommend.

Consistency – Refers to consistency in our thinking and behavior. In persuasion, this technique works by including a firm commitment, written or spoken, such as a contract that will bind us to certain future understandings.

Sympathy – We tend to be influenced by people we like or sympathize with. Finding similarities and common interests as well as compliments are techniques that can make others like us.

Social proof – This concept refers to adopting beliefs or behaviors that are accepted by others. For example, if we make an online purchase, we will most likely choose the product that has garnered the most positive reviews from other customers, because we will trust their experiences.

Manipulation techniques

The most frequently applied handling methods are the following:

Lie and omission – Manipulators can constantly lie in any aspect of life and do this to catch us off guard and create confusion. Also, manipulative people leave out parts of a story to create difficult situations for the people they are manipulating.

Blaming and victimization – For example, manipulative people make others feel guilty or create an image of helplessness in certain situations. Also, manipulators may compare us negatively to other people or make untrue generalizations in order to seem like victims of a situation.

Some manipulators may refuse understanding or conversation, or start a discussion by blaming us for something we didn't do in order to gain sympathy and power. This approach can be used to break an agreement.

Self-victimization is also used by manipulators to get what they want.

Passive manipulation – Sometimes manipulators are overly nice to the people they are manipulating. They buy them gifts, give them money and give them special attention.

Moreover, by using words of praise or flattery, manipulators gain the trust of a person, who becomes more and more vulnerable.

For example, in the beginning, a manipulator is able to say whatever he thinks a person wants to hear in order to feel loved or understood, but later, he will still do what he wants. This is a form of passive manipulation motivated by fear rather than hostility.

Emotional blackmail – It is a form of manipulation that actually refers to emotional abuse. It can include behaviors that denote anger, intimidation, threats, creating a sense of shame or guilt.

This is a method that creates self-doubt and makes us feel insecure. Examples of manipulation through such a technique can be warnings such as: "If you leave me, at your age, you will never find anyone" or "I will die if you leave me."

Unfortunately, in some cases, people who are emotionally blackmailed may experience heightened feelings of fear and an obligation to do as the manipulator tells them.

In conclusion

Armed with knowledge and discernment, you can navigate this complex landscape of social influence techniques with clarity and efficacy.

As leaders, communicators, and individuals, our mastery of these dynamics empowers us to forge genuine connections. To get a high engagement in your team, the best is to be genuinely interested in others, discover how you can help them and then communicate assertively and as clearly as possible your vision and plans.

The more you help others get what they want, the more they will help you get what's important to you. The difference will be made by your ability to convey your intentions with confidence, decisiveness, and genuine openness.

Thank you for joining me on this journey to unlock your full potential and turn it into real-world value. I hope that the tips and insights in this newsletter have been helpful in your personal and professional life.

If you feel that you are at a crossroad in your life, I would be happy to offer you coaching sessions to discuss your goals and how to achieve them. Remember, success is not a destination but a journey, and we're here to support you every step of the way.

So until next time, stay focused, stay motivated, and keep working towards your dreams!?Elena Badea