Perspectives

As the last working day of April and birthday month comes to an end, I wanted to end it off with 38 perspectives that I have learnt over the years:

1) Saying sorry is essential to maintaining good relationships. Being too arrogant to apologize is never worth it — your relationship and you suffer for no good benefit.

2)???Take it slow; life is better enjoyed at a leisurely pace. This is easier said than done in a place like Singapore where the pace of life if very fast!

3)???The moment is all there is. All our worries and plans about the future, all our replaying of things that happened in the past — it’s all in our heads, and it just distracts us from fully living right now. Let go of all that, and just focus on what you’re doing, right at this moment. In this way, any activity can be meditation.

4)???I've learned that you must be a person of your word. This comes back to integrity. Always do the right thing, even when no one is looking. In fact, it is all the more important to do the right thing when you are not being watched. It is often easy to act in front of others in the way(s) we believe they want us to, but the true measure of a person’s character comes from what they do when there are few, if any, eyes (or cameras, for that matter) on them.

5) Always understand your financial situation at any given time. Know what you have and plan for your future; yours and your family.

6) (Been working on this one) When your child asks for your attention, always grant it. Give your child your full attention, and instead of being frustrated at the interruption, be grateful for the reminder to spend time with someone you love.

7)???Over the years I have learned to love what you have, and have what you love.

8)???Be yourself and do not worry too much about what other people think.

9)???Inspire people with your actions rather than you words.

10)??There is always FOMO but I realised it is not worth chasing these. You will miss a ton, but that’s OK. We’re so caught up in trying to do everything, experience all the essential things, not miss out on anything important … that we forget the simple fact that we cannot experience everything. Less is good; quality over quantity.

11)???Pick your battles in life. If it does not affect you and the people around you, do not engage further.

12)???Mistakes make the best teacher. ?Don’t be afraid to make them. Try not to repeat the same ones too often.

13)?Sometimes failing is vastly more beneficial than succeeding.Failures are the stepping stones to success. Without failure, we’ll never learn how to succeed. So try to fail, instead of trying to avoid failure through fear.

14)?Know what you need, and give it to yourself whenever possible. That means eat when you're hungry, sleep when you're tired, regardless of what any clock tells you the time is. When you listen to your body, good things happen to it.

15)?Fitness is literally a marathon; it is a long and ongoing process. No cheat codes. Also, You can’t eat the same way you did when you were 21. You just?can’t!!

?16) The destination is just a tiny slice of the journey. We’re so worried about goals, about our future, that we miss all the great things along the way. If you’re fixated on the goal, on the end, you won’t enjoy it when you get there. You’ll be worried about the next goal, the next destination. Stop and smell the roses.

17)?Even if you do your best, sometimes it’s not good enough. You just have to try something different. Or work smarter. Or both or move on.

18)?Losing a job is life’s way of kicking you in the butt to move forward.

19)?Never stop learning. The exciting part of life is learning new hobbies and interests.

20)?Giving is so much better than getting. Give with no expectation of getting something in return, and it becomes a purer, more beautiful act. Too often we give something and expect to get an equal measure in return — at least get some gratitude or recognition for our efforts. Try to let go of that need, and just give.

21)?Be grateful everyday. Gratitude is one of the best ways to find contentment. We are often discontent in our lives, always looking for more, because we don’t realize how much we have. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, be grateful for the amazing gifts you’ve been given: of loved ones and simple pleasures, of health and sight and the gift of music and books, of nature and beauty and the ability to create, and everything in between.

22)?Get some perspective. Usually when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. In the larger picture, this one problem means almost nothing. This fight we’re having with someone else — it’s over something that matters naught. Let it go, and move on.

23)?Knowledge and performance are not the same. Focus on building knowledge when you’re young, but focus more on improving performance as you get older.

24) We miss 100% of the shots we don’t take. It can be scary (if not downright terrifying sometimes) to push ourselves outside of our comfort zones, to wander?1)?even a metre beyond the border of familiarity, or to risk failing spectacularly (see the above point).Yet, at the same time,?the possibility of a positive outcome lies with each shot we take in life?and while it is wise to be cautious at times, we do ourselves a profound disservice by not taking a leap of faith and trying the unknown/new/scary sometimes.

25) Never depend on another person for your happiness.?You are the driver of your emotions. Be in control and take charge.

26) Learn to laugh at yourself. As someone who is extremely shy,?introverted, self-conscious, and prone to anxiety, this has been a tough one for me at times over the years. However, that has only made me more determined to laugh at myself when the situation calls for it.?

27)?I've learned that every one of us was put on this earth for a purpose. Find that purpose, find your ikigai.

28)??Be in the moment and not multi-task. You need to give 100% to any task you do, because it is a reflection of yourself, your ethics and ethos in life.

29)??The little things matter a lot. ?We might remember the big events, the fabulous vacations, and the annual holidays we observe more than some random Thursday in February, but at the end of the day most peoples’ lives are filled with far more small, often meaningful experiences and joys than mammoth ones.

30)????Let it go. Long before Frozen made this wise piece of advice into a saccharine earworm, the principle existed and is no less true today than at any point in human history. Seriously. Just let it go. Learn to forgive and forget.

31)??Spend your money on experiences, not just things.?Spending your money on experience with the people who matter in life.

32)??Almost nothing truly worthwhile comes easy.?Goals take hard work and time. Success takes failure and perseverance, and excelling in a given area requires dedication coupled with frustration, times when you feel like giving up, and plenty of trial and error along the way.

33)??I've learned we all have to be accountable for our own actions. It's easiest to blame others and not take personal responsibility for our own actions. But at the end of the day, it's the only way to live free.

34)?You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make them drink. No matter how much you may try to help, support, provide for, or otherwise attempt to present a person with what they may need, at the end of the day, they will only learn/change/grow if they want to do so.

35)??It is not so much what happens to us in life, as how we respond to it that matters most.?Exceedingly rare is the life lived without heartache, trauma, stress, challenges, or even the unthinkable occurring.

36) The things we cling to out of fear prevent us from growing.

37) The key to getting anything you want is patience, timing, and trust.

38) You can’t compare yourself to others and be happy at the same time.