Perspective from a 4 year Software Engineer.

What imprint and impression are you making on the world?

By: Jacquelyn Hopkins

I was talking to my daughter the other day. She brought up the fact that everyone at school knows who I am, and just think I am so cool. As she brought that up, she just rolled her eyes, “If they only knew how embarrassing you were!”

She brought up the fact that people will just randomly bring her Mom up to her. They remember me from school activities, girl scouts, from being assistant softball and T-ball coach with my husband for our kids’ teams, etc. However, one event sticks out to them the most. And that was the day I showed up to career day. I gave the kiddos candy as they left, because I had hoped they would remember them. And she shared they still did! A starburst, so that you can be a star wherever you are. And a lifesaver, so you can always try and help those around you. You will never know what going that extra mile can do for someone else.

At the time I was 2 years into being a Software Engineer, and I had an allotted amount of time to share with the kids what I did for a living. I thought a lot about how I would show them what I did, and how they could do it someday as well.

 As I prepared, I remembered all of the jobs I had along the way up until that moment, and I realized that being a Software Engineer didn’t make me any better than any of the other jobs I had held previously. In fact, all of those jobs, had propelled me into a future in which I could make a change. At the age of 32, with a 3-year-old and 7-year-old, I went back to school to become a Software Engineer.

I shared with the class a power point slide. I listed out all of the jobs I had held from the age of 16 to 34. I included my first job at McDonalds where I learned how to become responsible, manage money, and become a dependable teammate. I also worked to pay for things I needed, I came from a big family, and it made it easier that I could pay my cell phone bill, pay for insurance, etc. The two years I worked there, I worked all of the positions. Because I just liked helping, and learning new things.

 I went on to share my rolls as a waitress/bartender in college. I got my first degree in Legal Studies, but while I went to school, I had to pay bills as well. I discussed the paid internships I was able to get at a radio station, and law offices. I shared my job as a Certified Nursing Aid. I originally got the job as a domestic Aid, it was close to where I lived, and I would look for a legal job when I graduated college. But I found out I was going to become a Mother. So, I chose to become trained as a CNA because they made a little bit more, with full time hours, and benefits. 

My main focus shifted to being the best Mom I could be, and a good teammate with my husband. So, my careers were based on health insurance, decent pay, and hours that daycare could keep my kiddos. I would go on to become an Account Manager in Collections, I worked at a bank for a short period of time, and I was a Crop Insurance Processor and Office Assistant. I shared that to inform them that you should never be ashamed of the jobs you take to help your family. You should appreciate your parents, guardians, grandparents for all that they do. I also shared that it was as a processor for Crop Insurance, that I realized I wanted to be in IT.

I was testing web-based applications that were designed to replace the paper forms the farmers were used to filling out. But farmers are in the field whenever it’s not raining or too muddy. It wasn’t always easy for them to come in and do the paperwork. The company was meeting a need, and decided to design an application to meet the needs of the Farmers and deadlines.

As I tested the web-based-applications, I did get frustrated on more than one occasion. The phrase would come up in testing “They can make it look pretty, but they can’t make it work.” They being the developers. I also noticed that during testing it was intimidating to give feedback at times. Obviously, they wanted the application to be up and running and ready for use. But sometimes things just didn’t work as expected, or provided the wrong information to me. I could remember thinking I wish there was someone in IT that could communicate with the business, ask the questions that need to be asked, and then work towards providing services I wanted. I realized than, that sometimes you have to become the person you were looking for.

I showed the kids a simple html application, asking their names, and their favorite colors, and watching their excitement as their name flashed on the screen in their favorite color. Kids came up to me, and said they were now interested in becoming a Computer Programmer, it was so cool, and they believed they could do it now too! Especially a girl as a Developer? And the kids all wrote me letters, that I received a few months later. It was really humbling to read what had stuck out to the kids. Knowing than that I had made an impact, and now a few years later, they still think about it.

So, why did I choose to get into the IT field and start a new career?! I knew that the future was in technology, and I could either watch opportunities go by and remain ignorant, or I could begin to change my life now, so that in the future I would have options. I also wanted to find a way to create a better experience for software users. Whether it was in social media apps, or everyday employee applications. At 32, I felt like I could be doing more. It was disappointing that I had gone to college, but had not used my degree. I looked at my daughter, and I considered the conversation I would have with her some day, when it came to the choices in her life. I knew I would tell her it was never too late to make a change, but if that conversation ever did come up, I would have to have some ground to stand on. I knew that I would have to show her how to move things in her life. She and my son continue to be the motivators in my life, that help me to keep becoming the best version of me I can be.

I don’t like discussing a problem without a resolution to help fix it. Being negative and complaining can’t always be helped, but you can’t stay there. What can you do to solve the problem? My answer was to go from being a self-professed “non techy “to coding the applications that people use every single day. I went from knowing how to only use social media, excel, and Microsoft products, and employment-based software. If my computer had a problem, I was calling someone to fix it. If turning it off, and on did not fix it, then I was done with it. Because I truly believed that IT people had to be rocket scientist smart, like numbers, etc. My experience was that in general speaking to them, I felt like the dumbest person in the room, and their explanations of things, only made me feel dumber.

So, I made the decision to go back to Centriq Training and it was a dump of information non-stop for 4 months. It was intense, and along the way, I lost my Why, and clung on to the refusal to quit or fail. I went into survival mode, and I stayed there for a few years. I’d like to tell you that I figured it out a year in, second year… It is only now, 4 years in, that I have allowed myself to circle back to my “Why”.

4 years ago, I was trying to find the answers. Was I making the right decision? Could I make it. How was everyone else doing this? I promised myself I would share my information to those with the same questions. To help them not feel so alone or defeated. I spent 4 years trying to become like every other phenomenal developer I have had the opportunity to work with. I was not patient with myself, and imposter syndrome lasted for a while. I don’t know that it ever truly goes away in this industry. Some languages remain the same, but technologies are constantly changing and evolving. You get better at finding patterns and finding ways to make things work. But, no one developer is an expert at everything. I had to realize, I will never be a Steve Jobs, or technical term coder.

What I am is a communicator. I break things down into simple terms, and I repeat them back, making sure what is going to be delivered lines up. I look for ways to improve the process of getting information from the business side, being more efficient at making the tasks visible. Asking questions even when I look dumb, because it matters more to get it right, than it does to be seen as the smartest person in the room. I never could “Fake it till I made it.” I am transparent about where I am in the process, and I work towards getting the job done.

My best qualities, are that I fill in the gaps, I am a team player, and I am willing to work hard to get it right. I am not married to any one technology, and no job is beneath me. Because the goal is to get it right, delivered within a good time frame, and be proud of what was accomplished.

As a developer you have so many highs and lows. An hour of fixing code, only to put it back to the way it was an hour later, realizing there was a caching issue, so your code did work, it just got hung up from the numerous UI updates you made…

Going from having no idea how the process works, to being able to create an outline for steps of the process, so that you can use it as a reference later. To only using that reference on occasion, because you have the muscle memory now. So many pep talks!!! One day you feel great, this was the best decision of your life! And the next you are buying lottery tickets, because at some point the numbers should line up correctly and return the Data you want!

I can honestly say I have learned so much more in the last 4 years about myself, my strengths, and weaknesses, than I ever thought possible. It is a journey I am glad I started. I have a lot to learn, and I look forward to what the future can bring. The possibilities are endless. Don’t forget your “Why”, and if you get off track, its ok, just get back on again!