Perspective Can Change

As a twenty-year-old, I moved from a very small town tucked deep into the piney woods of East Texas to the hustle and bustle of the Dallas - Fort Worth Metroplex. With my car packed to the brim, I followed a dream and pursued an education at Dallas Institute of Funeral Service to become a licensed Funeral Director and Embalmer. Prior to my move, I had been working in a small-town funeral home doing removals, planning, and assisting with services. Within a year, I naively thought I had seen it all and was ready for anything!

?Shortly after getting unpacked and settled in, I began work at a local funeral home in the big city. This led to a number of industry firsts for me, including my first interaction with a crematory. Another being the opening of a disaster pouch as we prepared to embalm on an Organ and Tissue donor. As I stood there astounded by the uniqueness of the case before me, I served myself a scoopful of humility pie and only then realized that I had in fact, not seen it all.

?Over the next few days, I found myself discussing the case with coworkers, industry colleagues, and fellow students. I tried to wrap my head around the complexity of the donor body. As the conversations ensued, it became apparent that many seemed to carry animosity towards these Organ Procurement Organizations; OPO’s as they are known. As with a good fishing story, each recounted having experienced one donor case more barbaric than the one told before. It seemed that the lines had been drawn in the sand. By default, I represented my mortuary colleagues while OPO’s stood for all that was wrong with post-mortem care. Altruism is an innately human quality and there was no doubt that donation saves lives, but there had to be a better way, right?

?Over 20 years later, I often found myself frustrated with OPO’s, never truly understanding why they had to make everything so complicated? As an Embalmer and Funeral Director, the additional time and effort it takes to reconstruct Organ and Tissue donors remained extensive. I disdained the mind-numbing hours waiting for procurements to take place, the lack of quality materials including cheap plastic garments that often ripped, and the endless attempts at positioning decedents just right for viewing. I’ll never get back the time lost waiting for families to be contacted, delays in late night calls being returned, and the difficult conversations had with loved ones when the decedent’s clothing no longer fit as expected. Selflessness in a time of grief is the ultimate act of humanity, and there was no doubt that donation helps those in the greatest of need, but there had to be a better way, right?

?No matter how much you might fight it, most things come full circle in one way or another. Years after first attending Dallas Institute as a student, I was privileged to join as faculty and embraced my role in educating the next generation of funeral service professionals. As a professor of Funeral Service Education, learning material and lesson plans were deeply moderated by the American Board of Funeral Service Education. While the curriculum is meant to encompass a vast spectrum of subject matter, in courses such as Funeral Service Ethics, Funeral Service Law, and Service Administration, it’s nearly impossible to miss the emphasis placed on developing good working relationships with allied professionals. Much to my chagrin, this would by extension include our friends in the OPO community. In teaching I have always tried to identify and separate my opinions, from anything shared with my students. When discussing OPO’s and the work they do, I’ve been deliberate in remaining unbiased and professional. My goal was to deliver relevant information to the next chapter of mortuary professionals, in a way that highlighted the compassion inherent in donation. As lessons concluded and topics changed, I couldn’t help but question the root of my predispositions and animosities and found myself asking once again, there must be a better way, right?

?Recently I was asked to speak for a procurement team at Southwest Transplant Alliance (STA), the Dallas based Organ Procurement Organization. They wanted their employees to gain a better understanding of the embalming process and the extensive efforts that take place in honoring a decedent’s final wishes. Throughout my career I’ve had the honor of speaking in front of many groups, and I felt confident in my ability to discuss the subject at hand. And yet, in full transparency, I approached the invitation with some admitted hesitation. The lines had been drawn long ago. Us versus them, right? In the classroom I often teach the importance of Allied Health Professionals and focused on this as I accepted the invitation thinking that I might make a positive impact on their relationship with funeral professionals. As I prepared to walk into the lion’s den, I remained steadfast in my underlying conviction that donation is a benevolent act in death, and yet there had to be a better way, right?

?A couple months after having originally agreed to the presentation, it was now time. I had created a PowerPoint presentation full of photos and gathered research on the topic. I intended to be honest in my presentation. I wanted them to understand the many common funeral industry perceptions we have of the OPO world, though I didn’t want them to perceive any animosity. I felt at the heart of their request was a spirit of self-improvement and the desire to be better. For my part, I wanted this to be step one in bridging a relationship long fraught with misunderstanding, lack of communication, and angst. I had done my homework and researched the organization thoroughly. I was honestly shocked to see the incredible space that Southwest Transplant Alliance has created to fulfill their mission of donation. Alongside the state-of-the-art operating rooms are resources and dedicated spaces for grieving families, culminating in a truly humbling donor memorial garden in recognition of all donor heroes.

?Looking back, I half expected it to be a dark and morbid facility in the back corner of a seedy industrial park.

?My teaching and presentation style follows the Socratic method, meaning I try to use a back-and-forth exchange of information when appropriate. I believe this is a great way to not only learn from one another, but also create an open and relaxed environment for understanding. Throughout the discussion some of the staff would come and go, most were extremely engaged and stuck around for the entirety of the presentation. I began my presentation by talking through the negative impact donation has on funeral arrangements. As the conversation ensued, a common theme emerged through the questions being asked by those in attendance, genuinely inquiring what they could do to be better? The team and I began to exchange ideas and process improvement initiatives were being developed right on the spot. The underlying theme at hand was that we all wanted to do what was right for the donors and their grieving families, we had just been approaching it from two very different angles without any context or mutual understanding. The lines of communication had been opened and we approached the issues with a solution minded focus. Donation saves lives; could there be better ways to do it by working together?

?After completing the presentation, I had a few minutes to meet with some of the organization’s leadership. Throughout the discussion, they had asked a number of questions and sought clarity on ways they can better serve their mortuary partners. The entire experience left me wondering how I had for so long, allowed myself to develop such resentment towards these people over two decades in the field. At the heart of the death care profession is helping families in their greatest time of need. As I toured the facility and walked through the hallways and corridors of Southwest Transplant Alliance, the goal is clear that they want to offer hope where there is tragedy. As providers, we know that we cannot take away the hurt and pain felt by families when someone passes on. We’ve chosen this line of work because we are willing to carry the weight of the trust that families place upon us in caring for their loved one, to honor their lives, and help those left behind by making the process as simple as possible. For grieving families, donation itself is an act of great comfort and healing. As a funeral service professional, I had a choice to make. I could continue to harbor the negative feelings I had towards OPO’s, or I could work towards making a change for the better. I still have no doubts that donation saves lives, only this time I’m choosing a different way forward.

?A few days after the presentation, I received a call from Adam James, Vice President of Tissue Operations at STA. Adam and I had visited for a few hours concerning some of the barriers present in the relationship between our respective fields. To my surprise, the experience culminated in a proposition to come on board with STA as a Funeral Home Liaison, dedicated to bridging the gap between OPO and Funeral Home. While I was flattered at the offer, I let him know that I was more than happy in my current capacity teaching and was not looking to make a transition at this time. Adam respectfully asked me to consider the change that could be made within the industry as a whole and the positive impact that could be made on the lives of mortuary professionals, donors, and their respective families. I regularly remind student, there are no problems, only solutions. I have always attempted to apply this same approach in serving the needs of others. After much consideration, I chose to seek solutions. All of this to announce, that I am proud to join an incredible group of professionals at Southwest Transplant Alliance.

?I have no doubt that #DonationSavesLives and enhances that of many others. I look forward to changing the narrative that it is mutually exclusive from proper funeral care. Lastly, I want to extend a heartfelt thank you to all those who have encouraged and motivated me throughout this journey. From my industry colleagues to my adoring family, this is for you.