A Personal Tale; Providing Mental Health Support for Employees and their Families through a Strong EAP

I spent the better part of the last 5 days trying to complete my RG Digest article on “Avoiding Disruption with Employees at Renewal Time” with Q4 staring at us. I haven’t been able to complete it. My focus has been elsewhere. I’ve been debating whether or not it was appropriate to share this story. I decided on yes even on the small off chance that it helps someone that may be struggling, however large or small the problem may be.

Saturday, we receiving disturbing news that a horrific tragedy happened in our town and my wife’s best friend was the victim. A vicious, senseless crime happening to someone you are close with - it’s a situation with vivid details that you cannot process.?

I am struggling to find the ways to console my wife in this time of sorrow. I am a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen, but how can you help someone process what happened to their best friend? How can you help them find meaning to go back to normal life; to work to deal with a customer that is upset over something seemingly insignificant, to see memories pop up on a Facebook timeline, or go through the thousands of pictures and videos together?

For me personally, I have always been able to go with the flow in tough times. You kind of get used to some of the frustrating or even sad parts of life. I have avoided bringing up my own struggles in recent days to not make a bad situation worse….until I couldn’t any longer. It’s been 3 days and my stomach is still in knots. I have had to lean on my client support team to handle our joint meetings this week because I cannot focus. I walk daily and this home was a house that I walked by; I’ve gone a different direction the last 2 days. Every time I have left the house, I pause with paralysis about the “what ifs” when I am not home. Falling asleep at night has been challenging with crazy situations running through my mind.

We have been recently been talking with clients about encouraging their employees to do a “Mental Health Check Up” just like you would getting your annual physical.?

Little things weigh on people daily that drag them down, cause them to be anxious, stressed, or frustrated. It could be an argument with a friend or family member or a bad day in the office - these problems have a compounding effect. How many employees are dealing with these types of needling situations on a daily basis that could benefit from help?

Everyone needs to spend time on their mental health. I was someone that “didn’t sweat the small things” … until something big happens and then I very quickly realized that not processing the small things in a constructive way was very counterproductive to my own physical and mental health, both personally and professionally. It can feel like your world is caving in, your focus lies elsewhere and that is where things can compound.

A fender bender in our own driveway (that happened - whoops).

The cat getting outside and going into a panic that he is lost (that happened - we found him and he is safe; he's bad, but safe).

My wife and I have decided to lean into our EAP at RogersGray. To individually take time to talk with someone that is licensed and qualified to help us come to terms with a traumatic situation and how to move forward. No matter how much we want to help each other, leaning on the services of a qualified professional was a decision we agreed upon and are working through separately, but together.

These conversations have become more common in the wake of the COVID Pandemic. We are more comfortable talking openly about the state of our mental health. Make mental health a focus of your wellness plan if it isn't already. Make resources available and accessible to employees and their families. Encourage employees for a check in even if everything seems fine. No matter how big or small, everyone’s struggles are real in their own mind and whether or not they are asking for it, we all need the support. While salary, insurance, PTO, etc are all important to retention, providing an employee with a lifeline in a bad situation that can help get their life back on track is an irreplacable benefit to offer.

-Jeff

in loving memory, R.A. 1993-2022