This is Personal, and it should be.

(~6 minute read)

This morning I listened to a new podcast by marketing legend, Antonio Lucio , called "Home / Work". So far it's been a great discussion with admirable leaders about how they integrate their work with the rest of their life. I have always aspired to be intentional about this balance, and the example Antonio is setting has inspired me to share a few thoughts on this important topic.

It wasn't that long ago that I remember taking meetings at home and feeling extreme pressure to maintain a degree of professionalism that basically kept my personal life a secret. I didn't know I was 'hiding' part of who I was - I was just trying to 'be professional'. I actually had one experience where my third child learned to open doors the day of an important executive presentation and snuck in behind me to make a cameo - babbling cheerfully. We've all seen the viral BBC interview with Professor Robert Kelly when his kids interrupt him and he closes his eyes in some mixture of embarrassment, despair and defeat. I actually lived a similar moment and felt something like what he experienced. I wish I could go back to talk to that younger father. I would love to speak some peace to his heart, and encourage a different response than the one I had at the time. What was I afraid of? My bosses boss knowing I have kids? Sadly, the underlying assumption for me at the time was that this was an unacceptable situation that would have a detrimental impact on my career. Fortunately, I work in a company with great leaders who supported me in a way that I felt was genuine at the time. Also fortunately, the world has changed, and we have more opportunities than ever to support people as they integrate their lives with their work.

We live in a new and better time, paid for with the heavy price of living and working through a global pandemic. This new age affords us new levels of fluidity and transparency. Fluidity allows us to seamlessly transition from a personal task to a work task and vice versa. I personally believe fluidity amplifies human potential - affording us the time to have greater impact through every area of our life, with very little cost to work output in most cases, if any at all.

The global pandemic was a fantastic change agent. For those who allowed it - it made work a lot more personal. We had an unveiling of sorts as we went from our office relationships into each others homes. While some of us still hold onto a virtual Zoom/Teams background, or at least a blurred background, the reality is we are closer to each other personally than we ever were. This has changed the rules about what is acceptable to have happen behind you on a video call. My team actually witness me playing the role of 'dad' when my kids are making too much noise outside my door. The answer a few years ago? Go to the office. The answer now? This is transparency. We welcome it. We flex. We smile. We adjust. Together we are growing into a more human way of working.

I'm grateful for the clarity the last few years have afforded us. I believe these changes in fluidity and transparency present a great opportunity for us to connect with people on a deeper level. The better we know people, the more we can help them grow and succeed in all aspects of their life. As we help people we change the equation from companies milking people for hours and outcomes, to businesses having a symbiotic relationship that drives both employee and shareholder value.

We can and should improve personally as well as help improve policies and practices that enable the right balance for people where we work. How do we go about doing this? We embrace the new world, and as appropriate, let it be personal. We encourage through our example, and when people open up, we care.

In this spirit, I will wrap up by sharing an email that I sent to my daughter this morning. Scarlett has always been a bit anxious, and right now she is feeling uneasy under the weight of an international move, culture shock, entry into middle school, and normal changes to do with being a 12-year old girl. She is simply worried, and that is making her sad. I've missed some opportunities to be present to encourage her for the last few days due to schedule conflicts, and they've been tough ones for her. Since I couldn't get her off my mind - I found a free window this morning and wrote this note for her to get at school. And we'll definitely be finding a fun way to connect tomorrow when she finishes her cross country meet. Maybe you have a 12 year old girl? Maybe you've made a recent move? Maybe you're an adolescent mental health expert, or knows of one. If so I'd be happy to connect - because in addition to closing the most important quarter of my life at HP, like you I'm also trying to be the best dad I can be. Thanks for the advice forum Antonio Lucio - looking forward to learning!

___

Hi June Bug,?

I have been thinking about you a lot the last few days! I hope you're having a good day. I'm at work and wanted to share something with you.?I read something this morning that made me immediately think of you.?

I've been following Roger Federer's retirement over the past several weeks. Roger is a very famous and successful tennis player. He is a rare example of grace in the face of enormous success - and his character and integrity throughout his career has been something that I'm sure will be remembered for generations to come. Like Michael Jordan in basketball - Roger will always be remembered as one of, if not the greatest, players of all time. Not only has he been a worthy leader - one who was winning on the court, but also worth admiring off the court. For me - he will always be the GOAT of Tennis.

The important part of the story I wanted to share with you is that this morning I read a quote from him that stopped me in my tracks. This is a direct quote from Roger,?

"When I was 12 years old I was just horrible." (this is about tennis)

At 12 years old he was terrible at tennis? This coming from a person who holds multiple records for most wins at certain events, who has won every major tournament, who is one of the most respected athletes of all time - not just in tennis, and who is endorsed by some of the largest and most luxurious brands from around the world?

I love you Scarlett - and I don't want you to ever worry about being 'horrible' at anything. I know you're doing lots of things for the first time, and not being good at things is part of the learning process. Enjoy doing things with your mind and body for the first time - and don't measure yourself based on how good you are because before you know it "You'll be as famous as famous can be,?with the whole wide world watching you win on TV." -Dr. Suess.?

On the second part of the Dr. Suess quote (I know you knew this one well):?

"Except when they don't.?Because, sometimes they won't."

Here's a thought: Roger himself says he was horrible when he started. And, here is the summary of his finish - shared today to millions of fans:?

"We all hope for a fairytale ending. Here's how mine went:

Lost??my last singles

Lost??my last doubles

Lost??my last team event

Lost??my voice during the week

Lost??my job

But still, my retirement could not have been more peRFect and I'm so happy with how everything went."

Started horrible, ended losing. And yet - going out on top, with his head held high.?

Hang in there Scar – whatever it is you'll be most known for – chances are right now you're in the learning stages, and it’s ok to be in that phase. Soak it up. I'm always here – and I'm your biggest fan.

Love you so much,

Dad