Personal Reflections on Race: Looking back to move forward...

I am writing this piece entirely in a personal capacity to mark 21st March, the International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination.

On 21st March 1960, sixty-nine people held a peaceful demonstration against apartheid laws in South Africa and they were shot and killed by the police. The United Nations General Assembly subsequently marked that day with a call to action for the elimination all forms of racial discrimination. Sadly, six decades later in 2020 we not only saw the brutal killing of George Floyd but a series of similar events across the globe, which are a stark reminder that whilst we have progressed as a society on many fronts, there is still a monumental amount of work to be done to tackle racial discrimination especially in wealthy economies, mainly in the west, which otherwise uphold democratic and libertarian social values. In the United Kingdom it is an interesting coincidence that 21st March 2021 is also the date for the national census collecting vast quantities of demographic data in a country that now has a greater minority population than ever before. Such diverse populations are often said to have ‘protected characteristics’, but the question needs to be asked as to who is actually protecting them?

So how does all of this apply to me? I might be viewed as relatively successful in my chosen field and pursuits. I am also immensely thankful for the many opportunities which life has presented and the sense of purpose which this has given me. However, this is an aerial view.

As a middle-class British male of Indian descent, I cannot even begin to understand the sheer oppression faced by those particularly from socioeconomically disadvantaged black minority communities living in white majority/dominated nations. There is also increasing evidence around the additive effect of intersectionality where gender and orientation alongside race can confer further disadvantage in a society where structural discrimination runs wide and deep, often in the form of covert actions or microaggressions which are relatively invisible, often found in the most unexpected corners of ‘educated’ society and are almost impossible to call out. These ‘smaller’ and more subtle instances of racial discrimination might seem a far cry from the overt violence associated with Floyd and similarly despicable events. However, every episode of racial discrimination, no matter how nanoparticulate, can be just as soul destroying as open aggression and erodes the very core of our society.

Whilst I am acutely aware of my own position of relative privilege, it is not one that I take for granted, as I too am no stranger to being the object of racial discrimination in a country where I was born and raised. It is precisely because of being in such a position that I now feel a moral obligation to share my own personal experiences with insights into how I have navigated, perhaps at times inadequately, the phenomenon of racial discrimination. The many individuals who have spoken out over the past year, including those who hold the great offices of UK Government, have emboldened the discussion which now gives a more unified voice to calling out racism in all its forms. This is therefore an unprecedented moment to share.

I attended an almost entirely white upper middle class independent school in England, in the late 70’s and 80’s. I first experienced racism in school when another child unexpectedly placed a sharp object in my arm to check if we had ‘the same colour of blood’ following a casual discussion at their family dining table. The incident was rapidly swept under the carpet by the school, and neither was it pursued by my family. At the same school a geography teacher once stated to the class that those from India had come to the UK to avoid living in slums like those depicted by the BBC (ironically, today some of my most gratifying action research is in the urban slums of my ancestral city of Kolkata!). I was raised by hardworking immigrant parents to believe that racism was expected and inevitable. In their experience, the only way to rise above it was to be academically more accomplished than average. Being brown meant having to work harder at all levels, with little room for slack. I never questioned this but nor was there any place where this could ever be discussed.

After my teen years my personal encounters with racism became far less frequent for several years – perhaps I had grown immune to subtle slights – or perhaps we were moving into a new generation more accepting of a multicultural society. As the memories of racial discrimination in the early years faded into the distance for a period, I imagined that it might even be a thing of the past as I experienced a predominantly merit based system in a Scottish University well into the first decade of the millennium. However, I then moved back to work in the academic sector in England, and as I began to progress professionally, I was once again reminded that racism was still very much prevalent. Uneven playing fields began to become visible in academia especially where markers of progression and distinction are open to subjective interpretation by predominantly white and usually much older male decision makers at the centre of power and authority. Shifting the lens from academia to healthcare, pre-existing biases seemed to become unmasked by rhetoric accompanying Brexit. With the referendum several clinical colleagues began to experience patients who preferred to see white doctors at clinic appointments. Surprisingly, such requests were upheld by clinic support staff. It was at this time that I also became acutely aware of the tokenism in representing ethnic minorities in the leadership of health-related services and academia.

Despite the emerging issues in the surrounding environment, I was personally fortunate to have been working as an intramural scientist under one of the Research Councils and was evaluated as well as recognised through a national and international merit system. This led to reciprocal recognition from the academic and professional sectors with various markers of esteem. I suddenly found myself catapulted into ‘seniority’ by the momentum of work outputs and impacts, rather than by design. This meant that I subsequently found myself to be the ‘odd one out’ in terms of both age and ethnicity at almost every power table especially within the academic sector. This often elicited a hostile response from senior white male (and female!) counterparts. The anecdotes that I then heard were quite unreal. Just to pick a few examples from over the years, one internationally renowned and pre-eminent scientist once commented openly that 'Asians and Africans tend to over-claim and should be subjected to extra scrutiny in academic appointments’. Another senior colleague continued to selectively talk down the value of work undertaken by minority individuals within an academic community in a manner paramount to slander but did so behind the safety of closed doors. In all these instances my perhaps inadequate attempts to counter such statements were met by the closing of rank by inner circles of white power and the dark art of gaslighting. To be fair, I usually found a sensible sub-group at the table who were truly objective. But at times such individuals have been bystanders and their silence greatly damaging. Over the years I gathered a plethora of rather shocking insights into the communal thinking that is prevalent beyond the glass ceiling which I sometimes wished I had never crossed. The examples I came across vary in degree and nature but are all facets of a very persistent as well as pervasive form of racial discrimination that appears to be deeply embedded in the uppermost echelons of some of the most learned academic institutions in the country.

My parents were right about sheer hard work with a bit of potential, helping to get to the other side of the mountain. But what they might not have appreciated is how much racism and discrimination would still be there on the other side in a manner that transcends social class and educational status.

One of the privileges of academia are often elaborate dinners in illustrious settings. One of my disadvantages in such scenarios has been the fact that I am teetotal. This is not just because I missed out on fine wines but more because after a certain number of glasses several ‘respectable’ senior academic colleagues would spiral into blatantly ignorant and racist remarks. Just the tip of an iceberg as I recall being asked by an otherwise charming lady how long I intended to stay in the country as she denounced immigration! Flanked by oil paintings of historical note, with candelabras on the table, such comments would be easily forgotten by most the next morning but are permanently etched in my own memory. Such forms of subtle racism can also be sophisticated and manipulative, slowly exerting its effects over individuals like an insidious cancer and those affected can lose their way over time becoming vulnerable prey to an already unforgiving system, particularly in the competitive overlap of healthcare and academia.

Reading the writing on the wall and envisioning the future, about six years ago whilst entering a moment of significant and unexpected external work recognition, I received excellent external advice leading to the incorporation of my academic work into an independent global health thinktank working closely with academia and healthcare but distinct from it. Such a model allowed the creation of an international virtual organisation operating across six continents in a manner that is participatory, non-hierarchical, and seeks to develop careers and build capacity with equity of opportunity. This microcosm is one where there is no place for any form of discrimination based on race or other characteristics. On one hand, at a personal level I can now speak from a firm footing to guide others who are navigating their way through structural barriers, encouraging them to think of being victorious rather than become victims. However, on the other hand, creating microcosmic islands of freedom from racial discrimination is not nearly enough. We need archipelagos of such islands to grow and become the norm. That said, as we stand in 2021, it is a truly opportune moment where the conversation around racial equality and intersectionality seems to have gained unstoppable momentum. The time is now to work together across both minority and majority ethnic groups with the common goal of extracting and eradicating systemic racism from every far corner of our society starting with the transformation of healthcare and academia to become beacons and lead the way!

Special Acknowledgement: Marla Fuchs for helpful comments on an initial draft