A personal recap of the last 366 days.

I have trained myself to help #estonia.

Literally, it has been my calling since I was in my late teens. I remember vividly that day in Tartu when that decision dawned on my. It has been a blessing and a curse. Among other things, this is why I chose government and politics as my BA, and international relations as my MA thereafter, both from University of Tartu . Thereafter I spent all of my years from 2010 to 2023 in public service.

Until April 27 last year. It has been 366 days already!

The other day I noticed that quite a lot has been happening during the year I left public service. So I decided to share a recap, focusing on decisions and emotions from the past year. Because why not do a yearly review in the middle of the year?

April 2023:

The first thing I did with the freedom of being out of a job? I embarked on a getaway to Paris with my wife. It is always a good idea to drag spring much closer (if you disagree, come to Estonia), and to remind oneself that work is there to serve life, not the other way around. Glad to have reminded myself that even today!

May 2023:

Soon enough the calendar turned to May, and I found myself pushing my limits by running a half-marathon at Helsinki City Running Day. Despite the physical strain, the sense of accomplishment fueled my spirit, and reminded me how differently cities just 80km apart can be designed. A clear win for Helsinki, compared to Tallinn. But hopes are high for the fresh city government!

June 2023:

I decided already in April that my next professional journey must be decided before Midsummer Day. So in June, surrounded by the warmth of family in Southern Germany, I made the decision to join Rohetiiger as Head of Development, but after a summer without work.

Clarity began to dawn on the path ahead while I was enjoying time with my family at Legoland, Bodensee and the Alps. Of course, this clarity was a deception, because the task is a difficult one. Like climbing a steep mountain, which is only visible in distance.

July 2023:

July marked a liberating escape into full vacation mode. With good company. :)

In another example, I enjoyed the billowy waves of Abruka sea kayaking marathon - 39km on water - helped me remind that challenges are for accepting them. And, by the end of the month, I felt that I am not the guy that wants to keep resting for long!

August 2023:

Given a loonshot of redesigning of how Estonia should operate by 2040, I started with a heavy dose on research on how societies operate. I cannot allow myself to be a dilettante in what I do, I need to have some level of understanding of what the challenge is. I also attended my first Rohetiiger (Green Tiger) event. I also made a promise to myself to honor moments of pause amidst life's transitions. So whenever I move next, a pause must be calculated in. Within constant hurry in professional life, I learned to embrace #deceleration. And then my 4-month vacation came to an end.

September 2023:

September ushered in a new chapter as I embarked on my journey with Green Tiger. What a beautiful concert of fellow Estonians I had stumbled upon!

Alongside my professional pursuits, my wife and I took the rhythm of dance into my life, hoping to find myself at the Estonian national dance and song festival of 2025. The most quintessential Estonian thing to do!

How well do you know your "Tuljak"? A few months into training, we've got some moves!

October 2023:

I took some pride in taking the stage at Impact Day alongside esteemed climate ministers from Estonia and Lithuania. But I also grappled with the complexities of my evolving role. I was finally beginning to understand what I signed up for! Exciting, but far from easy. Still so. I guess the most painful - literally! - event was the 3-day run at Saaremaa (42km in 3 days). Surprisingly much of Saaremaa in my life lately!

November 2023:

Navigating the maze of decisions, our family decided to sell our previous home. For me, a symbolic step towards embracing change that I had postponed longer that I wanted to. But not an easy decision to do, especially without knowing where to move, what kind of home to choose next. The complexities of my new professional role were also rising fast. The challenge of unlocking a moonshot have been in full swing since then.

December 2023:

In the company of my new team, I attended a lovely private concert near Tallinn, basking in the harmony of shared goals and aspirations. I knew then that 2024 needs to bring more music into my life. But I still had no idea where my next home base would be. The emotions were mixed and selling the previous apartment was not going too well.

January 2024:

As the new year dawned, I found solace in the positive impact of #coaching, which I had decided to restart to do a few weeks earlier. And I met the young family who were happy to acquire our previous home. And I turned 37, which is a prime number. Prime time of my life?

February 2024:

February always brings a lot of festivities - the birthdays of my son, my wife, and of Estonia. From this year, it also marks the biggest yearly event of Green Tiger - the yearly gathering at TalTech. Actually, I would be spending more time in TalTech this winter, as I started my 4th year as guest lecturer for students interested in public sector innovation, at Ragnar Nurkse Department of Innovation and Governance, TalTech . I must admit I was a bit surprised how much this topic still holds my interest. It dawned on me that in the grand scheme of things, not much has changed in my mission to help Estonia, just from a different angle.

March 2024:

If you want a very special kind of training, try the combination of heavy wind gusts, clumsy furniture items, ice rain, and the gobbling streets of Old Town of Tallinn. It will be fun, if your attitude is right!

Life gave my family the opportunity to spend the spring in the Old Town, before settling into our home-to-be in Kadriorg later this year. Few weeks into this experiment, I still feel as a foreigner in my own town. But it is beggining to change, there really is so much to discover in historical settings.

Ah, and I have found peace with the mission I chose last summer. Having discussed the path ahead with some of the smartest minds of Estonia already, I have realised that my mission is not just possible but entirely within reach.