Personal Leadership - It's for Everyone

?“Being a self-leader is to serve as chief, captain, president, or CEO of one’s own life” - Drucker

Introduction

Every time you hear someone say, "this is above my pay grade," it’s probably an opportunity lost for personal leadership. Personal leadership isn’t about job titles or waiting for someone else to make the call. It’s about stepping up when it matters, taking responsibility, and leading yourself with purpose and integrity.

Think about the last time you were in a great restaurant or hotel. The best service experiences often come when the person in front of you takes the initiative - even before you’ve asked for help. They anticipate your needs, offering assistance or going well beyond what you expected. That’s personal leadership in action. It’s not about their role, but their decision to take charge and create a better experience for you.

In today’s fast-paced and unpredictable world, personal leadership has become more important than ever. It’s the skill that helps you navigate life’s challenges, spot opportunities, and positively influence others - whether or not you’re in a formal leadership role.

This article explores how you can build personal leadership through self-awareness, being open to new possibilities, and staying true to who you are. Whether you’re looking to grow in your career or in your personal life, developing these skills will help you lead with confidence and clarity, no matter the situation.

Defining Personal Leadership

Personal leadership is about leading from within. It’s not defined by a title, position, or the number of people you manage. Instead, it’s about the ability to lead yourself with self-awareness, making decisions that align with your values and beliefs. Bill George, in True North, describes leadership as a journey of staying true to yourself and your core values, regardless of external pressures. It’s about taking control of your life, setting a vision, and acting intentionally to create the future you want—whether in your career, relationships, or personal growth.

True personal leadership starts with knowing yourself. As Stephen Covey explains in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, leadership is rooted in character and proactive responsibility. This involves recognising your strengths, weaknesses, passions, and core values. When you understand what motivates you and what you stand for, you can begin to make choices that align with your personal purpose. This self-awareness also helps you navigate challenges with resilience and confidence, because you’re grounded in a clear sense of who you are and what you’re working towards.

Importantly, personal leadership is an ongoing process. James Clear, in Atomic Habits, highlights the importance of small, consistent actions in shaping who we become over time. Just like a good leader adapts to changing circumstances, personal leadership involves constantly checking in with yourself to ensure you’re on track and aligned with your core values. As you evolve, so too does your personal leadership style.

Exercise: Take 10 minutes to reflect on the following:

1. What are your top three core values?
2. How do these values show up in your day-to-day decisions?
3. Are there areas of your life where your actions are not aligned with your values? What changes can you make to bring more alignment?

Key Takeaway: Personal leadership is not about your job title but about leading yourself with integrity, purpose, and self-awareness. When you know who you are and what you stand for, you can make decisions that bring you closer to your goals.

The Power of Serendipity in Leadership

Serendipity - the unexpected, positive opportunities that arise when we least expect them -plays a crucial role in personal leadership. It’s not about waiting for random luck, but about cultivating a mindset that allows you to recognise and act on opportunities when they present themselves. Dr. Christian Busch, in The Serendipity Mindset, explains that leaders who embrace serendipity are not passive; they are actively open to unexpected possibilities, and they have the courage to turn these into meaningful outcomes.

In personal leadership, serendipity often appears when you're adaptable, curious, and willing to embrace uncertainty. When you step outside of rigid plans and allow for flexibility, you create space for new opportunities to emerge. Consider the many successful leaders who didn’t follow a straight path to success but instead found their way through a series of unexpected turns and chances.

For example, think of times when you've taken initiative, gone beyond what was expected, or stayed open to exploring new ideas. Perhaps an unexpected conversation led to a career opportunity, or a failure taught you something invaluable. These moments of serendipity are often the turning points in personal leadership. By being open to them, you not only strengthen your resilience but also your capacity to lead in complex, unpredictable environments.

James Clear’s Atomic Habits supports this by showing how small, incremental changes in our habits can set the stage for these serendipitous moments. Creating daily habits that encourage curiosity, networking, and openness can increase your exposure to opportunities you wouldn’t have otherwise encountered.

Exercise: Take 5 minutes to reflect on the following:

1. Can you recall a time when an unexpected opportunity or chance meeting led to something significant in your life?
2. What daily habits or behaviours could you adopt to increase your chances of encountering serendipity? (e.g., connecting with new people, stepping outside your comfort zone, exploring new topics or activities)

Key Takeaway: Personal leaders who embrace serendipity are adaptable, open to new possibilities, and able to turn unexpected moments into opportunities for growth. By cultivating curiosity and flexibility in your life, you increase your capacity for personal leadership.

Quiet Influence and Leadership

Leadership is often associated with charisma, loud voices, and commanding presence. However, personal leadership doesn’t have to be loud to be impactful. In fact, some of the most effective leaders lead quietly, relying on influence rather than authority to inspire and guide others. Jenny Kahnweiler, in Quiet Influence, explores how introverts and reflective thinkers can use their natural strengths to lead powerfully without the need for overt charisma or extroversion.

Quiet leaders are those who lead through thoughtfulness, deep listening, and strategic actions. They don't demand attention but earn respect through their ability to connect deeply with others and make well-considered decisions. These leaders use their reflective nature to understand problems from different angles and provide solutions that are insightful and empathetic. Susan Cain’s Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking also reinforces this, highlighting how introverts can thrive in leadership by leveraging their strengths, rather than trying to fit into traditional extroverted leadership moulds.

One of the key traits of quiet leadership is emotional intelligence, a concept explored by Daniel Goleman in Emotional Intelligence. Leaders with high emotional intelligence - whether introverted or extroverted, are able to understand and manage their own emotions, while also being attuned to the feelings and needs of others. This deep emotional awareness allows them to influence through empathy and trust, rather than force or authority.

Quiet leadership is not about dominating the room but about making space for others. These leaders help create an environment where everyone feels heard, supported, and encouraged to contribute. They influence by example, leading with integrity, humility, and thoughtfulness.

Exercise: Reflect on your own leadership style:

1. Are you more of a quiet leader or do you tend to take a more extroverted approach?
2. In what ways could you use listening and reflection to strengthen your leadership?
3. Identify one situation this week where you can practice leading through influence rather than authority - how can you create space for others to contribute?

Key Takeaway: Quiet influence is a powerful form of personal leadership. Leaders who listen, reflect, and lead with emotional intelligence often have a profound impact, creating environments of trust and collaboration. By embracing your natural leadership style - whether introverted or extroverted - you can lead with authenticity and strength.

Authenticity and Finding Your True North

At the heart of personal leadership is authenticity - being true to who you are and leading from your core values. Authenticity isn’t just about being honest with others; it’s about being honest with yourself. It involves knowing your strengths, acknowledging your weaknesses, and using your experiences to shape how you lead yourself and others. Bill George, in True North, calls this inner compass your "True North" - the internal guide that helps you stay aligned with your values and purpose, even when faced with external pressures.

Leading authentically means embracing vulnerability. Brené Brown, in Dare to Lead, highlights how courage and vulnerability are deeply intertwined. Personal leadership requires the bravery to show up as your full, authentic self - even when it’s uncomfortable. It’s about leading with integrity, staying consistent in your beliefs, and navigating life in a way that reflects your genuine self, not an image others expect of you.

Finding your True North often involves reflecting on past experiences, challenges, and setbacks. These moments shape who you are as a leader. Instead of seeing failures as roadblocks, authentic leaders view them as opportunities to learn and grow. This approach to personal leadership allows for constant growth, as each experience - positive or negative -helps you refine your path.

Being authentic also requires resilience. Leading from your True North doesn’t mean you won’t face challenges; it means you’re equipped to handle them with grace and perseverance. Authentic personal leaders inspire trust and loyalty because people can see that their actions are rooted in real values, not external validation.

Exercise: Take a few minutes to reflect on your True North:

1. What core values guide your decisions and actions?
2. When in your life have you strayed from those values? What were the consequences, and what did you learn?
3. Identify one challenge you’re currently facing. How can you approach it in a way that aligns with your core values?

Key Takeaway: Authenticity is at the core of personal leadership. Leading from your True North means aligning your actions with your deepest values and beliefs and using every experience as an opportunity to grow. By staying true to yourself, you can navigate life’s challenges with integrity and confidence.

Applying Personal Leadership to Daily Life

Personal leadership isn’t just a concept to think about - it’s something you can practise every day, in small and meaningful ways. The key to applying personal leadership in daily life is consistency. Developing habits that align with your values and maintaining a mindset open to growth and opportunity are essential steps.

James Clear, in Atomic Habits, reminds us that success is the result of small, consistent actions. This applies to personal leadership as well. Building a habit of self-awareness through practices like reflection, journaling, or mindfulness helps you stay connected to your core values and allows you to make intentional decisions. It’s not just about setting grand goals but about taking small, manageable steps every day that move you closer to where you want to be.

Creating space for serendipity is another important part of practicing personal leadership. By being open to new experiences, embracing uncertainty, and staying curious, you invite new opportunities into your life. This could be as simple as starting a conversation with someone you don’t know, stepping outside your comfort zone by trying something new, or saying yes to unexpected opportunities. These actions build your capacity for personal leadership and help you stay adaptable in an ever-changing world.

Quiet leadership also finds its place in daily practice. Leading with quiet influence means paying attention to how you interact with others, fostering empathy, and listening more deeply. Whether in professional settings or personal relationships, being mindful of how you lead through influence, rather than authority, can strengthen your connections and foster trust.

Lastly, living authentically in your daily life means making sure your actions reflect your values. This can be as simple as saying no to something that doesn’t align with your principles or speaking up when it’s easier to stay silent. These everyday choices, grounded in integrity, are what build your personal leadership over time.

Practical Tips:

1. Daily Reflection: Spend five minutes each day reflecting on whether your actions were aligned with your values. Did you respond to challenges in a way that you’re proud of? What could you adjust tomorrow?
2. Embrace New Opportunities: Challenge yourself to say yes to something unexpected this week, whether it’s a new connection, project, or experience. Stay open to what it might bring.
3. Practice Listening: In your next conversation, focus on listening more than speaking. Pay attention to the other person’s perspective and consider how you can lead by supporting them.

Key Takeaway: Personal leadership is built through everyday habits, consistent reflection, and small steps that align with your values. By staying open to new opportunities, practicing empathy, and acting with integrity, you strengthen your leadership daily—no matter your role or circumstances.

Conclusion: Leading from Within

Personal leadership is not a destination - it’s a lifelong journey. It’s about cultivating the ability to lead yourself through the challenges and opportunities that life presents, using your values, self-awareness, and a mindset open to growth and serendipity. Whether you’re leading quietly through influence, embracing unexpected moments, or staying true to your core values, personal leadership is the foundation for living with purpose and integrity.

As you’ve seen throughout this article, personal leadership is accessible to everyone. It doesn’t require a title, position, or permission. It’s about making small, intentional choices each day that align with who you truly are. From quiet influence to the power of serendipity, personal leadership allows you to navigate life’s complexities with confidence and clarity.

Start by asking yourself: What are the small changes you can make today to align more closely with your values? How can you embrace unexpected opportunities and influence those around you in ways that build trust and connection? Personal leadership is built step by step, through consistent practice and self-reflection.

So take that first step today. Reflect on your True North, embrace serendipity, and lead quietly but powerfully. The journey of personal leadership begins from within - and it’s a journey worth taking.

All the best in your endeavours!

Frank Choy

6 October 2024

Recommended reading

Dr Christian Busch - The Serendipity Mindset.

Bill George - True North.

Jennifer Kahnweiler - Quiet Influence.

Brene Brown - Dare to Lead.

Susan Cain - Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking.

Stephen R Covey - The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

James Clear - Atomic Habits.

Daniel Goleman - Emotional Intelligence.