Personal Journeys Aren’t Always Solo: Managing Others’ Reactions to Your Health Goals

The following is adapted from Unstoppable.

For most of my life, I struggled with diet, exercise, and health. Several years ago, I ditched the well-known health mantras and advice of diet experts, and I embarked on my own wellness journey. I experimented with foods, habits, and exercise, focusing on what made me feel better, and through a trial-and-error approach, I managed to carve out a plan that worked for me. I was able to achieve fitness goals I never thought possible. 

I wasn’t the only affected by that journey. We often think of health as a personal matter, and on one level, it is. Wellness regimens are about improving your health, diet, and life, and they often involve subtle (or sometimes radical) changes in your behavior and mindset. But of course, changing your lifestyle also means changing your interactions with others. My health journey was also of interest to friends, family, and coworkers, and I found that it was often easier to manage my own expectations than those of others. 

If you choose to embark your own life-changing journey (which I highly encourage), here are some tips for dealing with the many reactions you will encounter. 

Minimize Negativity

While most people were very supportive of me throughout my journey, there were definitely some haters who passed judgment and responded negatively. Ultimately, for those who respond negatively, keep this in mind: it’s often less about you and more about their own frustrations. To stay focused, minimize your exposure to those kinds of negative influences.

Share Wisely

When it comes to talking about your journey, let others take the lead with questions, comments, and conversation. For example, if someone asks why I’m not eating bread, I’ll simply give them a vague, ten-second answer, or say, “I don’t feel like eating bread today.” If they keep asking me questions, I’m happy to talk to them about my experiments for hours. But let them dictate what you share. No one likes that person who shows up at a party and proceeds to lecture everyone about diet and exercise. It comes across as self-righteous and turns people off to the transformative journey you’ve been on. But, by all means, be open and share your experiences with those who are supporters. Those are the people whom you need the most. 

Don’t Judge

Be sure not to create a hierarchy around your behavior—your journey is your journey alone. What’s right for you isn’t right for others. By embracing this perspective, sharing doesn’t have to be about passing judgment or looking down on other people. And who knows? One day these supporters might embark on a similar journey themselves.

Don’t Recruit

When it comes to your household, you’ll definitely need your significant other and/or children to understand what you’re doing. But keep in mind: you don’t need to recruit them to join you on your journey. Sure, it can be really fun when people decide for themselves to go on that journey with you, but it can’t be forced. Avoid saying to your significant other, “You need to do this with me.” No, they don’t. That’s a choice that your significant other has to make for him or herself. A mature spouse or significant other will want you to do what’s best for you, even if they don’t quite understand or aren’t ready for that journey themselves.

Bottom Line?

As long as you aren’t too radical or in-your-face about your experimentation, most people will be willing to meet you where you’re at, and offer support as needed. Family members might not participate in the process with you, but you can invite them to take stock of your pantry together, for example, and start a conversation about the foods that might be better for your household. If there’s pushback, it’s probably just fear, and your responsibility is to meet that fear with grace and understanding. Lead by example, and people will naturally follow.

Most importantly, the strongest advocate you can have on this journey is you. When you’re committed to taking ownership over your own journey each and every day, you can move forward in ways you would have never imagined.

For more advice on managing others’ expectations, you can find Unstoppable on Amazon.

David Hauser is a serial entrepreneur who launched several companies before he began high school. David spent his youth working more than one hundred hours a week, until he realized the toll it was taking on his mind, body, and life. After failing to see results from conventional wisdom, he decided to do what he does best: innovate. His unique journey to wellness has helped him realize his life’s purpose of empowering others to optimize their own lives by reclaiming their health. As David continues to evolve, he receives tremendous support from his partner, Dawn, and their three inspiring children.