Personal Goals that Really Work

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What’s my goal?

That’s a question I didn’t ask myself for a long time.

I had lots of wishes and hopes. I didn’t have goals or plans. As a result, nothing changed in my life. It wasn’t until I started setting personal goals that things began to change.

Pick a direction

If you’re like me, you may not have spent much, if any, time thinking about what you’d really like out of life. Setting goals starts with picking a direction. Your goals don’t have to be giant, like curing cancer or making a million dollars. They’re your goals – they can be whatever you want.

• Enjoy that hobby that’s always interested you (but you’ve never started).
• Drop those pounds and be healthy by exercising.
• Learn that new skill you need to get promoted at work.
• Get over that fear of doing [scary thing] and live at peace with yourself.

Put some time on your calendar to sit and think about where you are, and where you’d like to be. This doesn’t need to be some deep philosophical exercise. Don’t overthink it. What do you like? What would you do if you had the time/money/drive to do it?

Prioritize

I’ve started lots of hobbies and exercise programs over the years. They typically last a few weeks before I get bored or tired and fall off. If you want to succeed, to really grow, you’ll need to do things differently.

Ask yourself these two questions:

1. What’s the most important thing I need to do right now?
2. What’s keeping me from doing it?

Here’s a personal example. I toyed around with the idea of writing for years and never consistently put fingers to keyboard. When I asked myself these two questions, the answers were:

1. What’s the most important thing? Writing. Something, anything.
2. What’s keeping me from doing it? Scrolling my news feed and playing video games.

I said I didn’t have time to do it. But when I asked myself the two questions, I found that I did have time – I was just using it for other things. These questions forced me to confront how I was using my time and what my true priorities were. If I wanted writing to be a priority, I was going to have to make it one.

Putting Processes in Place

As I said, I’ve started lots of things before and then burned out quickly. This happened because I didn’t have processes and systems in place. This doesn’t need to be some giant flowchart or regimented thing.

For me, it was carving out time in the mornings before my kids woke up and making that time dedicated to writing. It meant planning. Scrolling on my phone needed to be dealt with. Getting distracted with “research” had to be managed.

But continually coming back to the two questions kept me on track. You can’t wish or hope you’ll stay motivated. Eventually everyone gets tired or has an unavoidable off day. Life happens. You need to plan for that and include ways to recover in your process. Put a day off or a “cheat day” in your process if that’s what you need. Then you won’t feel bad when they happen and you’ll be able to keep moving forward after.

Accountability

I felt nervous telling people my goals. If I kept them to myself and didn’t succeed, nobody but me would know. It felt safe. But safety came at the price of a never-ending stream of thoughts about quitting.

You don’t need to announce your goals to the entire world. But having a close friend or two to keep you honest goes a long way in growth. Knowing that someone will ask you about it and help push you along is a powerful motivator.

Motivation

Speaking of motivation, well, you won’t have it all the time. You’ll say, “I’m just not feeling motivated/inspired/active today.” To succeed at growth and goals, you need a way to push through even when you’re not “feeling motivated.”

That’s what will set you apart. Repetition and time are what lead to growth. You only get those by being consistent. You’re super busy one day? Put one minute toward your goal today, even if you can’t do your normal routine.

Consistency beats motivation all day long.

Measuring Growth

Even if there’s no “win” or “lose” in what you’re working on, you still need a way to measure progress. The two main things for you to consider are:

• Not comparing yourself to anyone else, and
• Being realistic with your expectations

First, you should only compare your growth by looking at where you’ve come from. If you compare yourself to others, you’ll always find someone who is smarter, faster, or luckier than you. That’s not really the point. Look at where you’ve come from, and the kind of person you’re becoming.

Are you more organized with your time and resources now? Are you becoming more skilled in what you’ve been practicing? Have you stuck with it for longer than before? If the answer to these questions is “yes,” you’re probably moving in the right direction.

Second, set your expectations as realistically as possible. If you’re learning to paint, you can’t expect to be the next Picasso overnight. If you’re like me and have a family, job, and civic responsibilities, you may not have hours and hours each week to devote to your goal. That’s okay.

At the same time, you do need to push yourself forward by setting some expectations for yourself. That’s where having a direction comes in handy. Write down a goal that seems just a bit bigger than you think you could pull off. That way, you can look back at your past progress and forward to your future goals.

Growth is lumpy

When you set a goal, progress won’t be even. You’ll have bursts of growth, and times when you feel like you’ve fallen back. That’s a normal part of life. Don’t let that discourage or intimidate you from moving forward. Perfection is not the goal. Growth is.

The only way to lose is to quit.

So, what’s your goal?