Personal Freedom Series - The Beginning

I have enormous trust in humans.

One of my core beliefs is that we all come from an unlimited source of power. Call it God, universe, eternal energy, however you like but I definitely believe we all are part of it and we carry its power with us since we were born.

This power gets activated while we grow up and we become complete once we reach adulthood. And once we are complete, we are an indispensable part of the world. Each of us individually because each of us is here with a purpose, to achieve something only we can achieve.

It may not be easy to find this purpose. Maybe we will never find this purpose. But I believe we are given great signs to show us to which direction we should look. Our true feelings!

We enjoy certain topics, certain activities more than others, and we all have different preferences. The more we get aware of what pulls us to itself, what fills our heart with joy and what excites us, the closer we get to our purpose. 

Why is purpose important?

Because let’s accept it, life is not easy. There is pain. There will be pain. We sometimes walk through dark paths and try to see our way with dim light or just by feeling the surface with our feet and hands. Oh and we fall down! Once we fall down, it can get really dark and scary, and it can be really painful to get up. What will keep us walking? Remembering why or where we were walking in the first place. Having a meaning. Having something bigger than our individual selves, something to take us out of our smaller selves and smaller view of life and to grow our hearts, our minds, to elevate us. That can be achieved by having a sense of your purpose.

Awareness is our greatest guidance. What is to be aware of? Our feelings, our thoughts, our behaviour patterns and voices inside our heads.

Feelings and Thoughts

Feelings are elaborated versions of our emotions. Emotions are responses coming from our animal side and create biochemical reactions. Main emotions are fear, anger, sadness, disgust, happiness, surprise. We have emotions to do more of the things that helps us stay alive and reproduce and to avoid things that endanger us and our species. That is something we have in common with the other animals. Feelings on the other hand are the meanings we give to our emotions through our past experiences and our beliefs. We can say feelings are byproduct of emotions and thoughts. 

These thoughts can be conscious or can occur in the subconscious level. Emotions have lives of seconds whereas the thoughts about our emotions (our feelings) can trigger new emotions, which in turn can create new feelings and the cycle can continue forever. If these emotions are the negative ones (sadness, fear, anger) they can keep us prisoner and take away our energy to make new independent choices for the future and to use our full power.

Behaviour patterns

We, like all animals, need touch. We need to be loved and cared for. But unlike most animals, we are more resourceful to come up with ways of getting what we need. If we don’t get love and touch from our parents when we were little, we develop techniques to get the attention one way or another. We start being naughty, because that for sure will give us some of our parents attention, even if it is negative. Bad publicity is publicity so is bad attention is still attention. We might get it through crying out if we don’t get it when we act well, normal and happy. As everything reinforced gets stronger, these patterns also get stronger and repeated when we are adults. Now maybe as adults we don’t cry “Mamaaaa!” to get our mother but we might say “Oh I am terrible at this, could you please help me, you are so good” or we don’t break our toy but “maybe spend too much money, do our work sloppy, come late to work and other appointments and still get the “bad attention” we are used to. 

Voices in our head

Our old habits do not end here. We learn through our parents, teachers, society that certain ways of living, thinking, doing is not good, is not allowed. We start to control these sides of ours. We develop voices inside our heads, which might be coming from the voice of our teacher or our parents, shaking their finger or heads to us. We punish ourselves, we feel shame, which makes it difficult for us to start something new, to feel happy and free.

As these voices are very strong, we might also develop another voice that shouts let me out, let me free. Which can sometimes take control and make us act in ways that we don’t really want to. In rebellious ways, in destructive ways. We might be drifted from one side to the other.

We get so busy and tired by our internal winds blowing (feelings, thoughts, attitudes, voices in our heads that we don’t have any energy to follow what calls us deeply, because of all the loud voices we cannot hear the silent calling we have. 

How to navigate through it all

What can help us is to detect first of all who the members of our internal choir are. We can identify them one by one and hear them out for once without acting on them. Every one of them, one by one…. We can catch them on action – via the behaviour patterns we have and call them to the side to have a chat. We can ask to ourselves – what do we need. We can see what thoughts are going on in our minds when we feel sad, worried, occupied, exhausted, anything that steals our energy, our powerful self. We can name the voices that talk inside our head. We can hear out everything and decide what is true and choose our responses based on what we want to experience. Thoughts are thoughts, they are not our true selves.

Our true selves are revealed when we understand what really matters to us, what we value in life and what gives us the real joy. To get to that, we need to eliminate all other voices and clutter and find our own voice, and turn up the volume. Only then we can reconnect with our true power, our unlimited power.

Recently I reconnected with my own purpose: to remind you how valuable and unique you are and how much you are needed in this world. I want to support you to let go off all the armour you wore to protect yourself which made life very heavy and which made you tired. I envision you changing the battlefield you feel you are in into a playground and start playing. You are sure to teach us new games will make the world a happier place. With this purpose in mind, I am beginning today a new blog series: Personal Freedom Series.

In this series we will talk about our saboteurs, our thought distortions, how to not create new demons, understanding your needs and giving yourself what you need, communicating your needs to others, and last but not least we will talk about how to start loving ourselves and develop a great relationship with ourself.

If are looking for a port to escape from your personal winds, share how you feel and your background story with me send me a message here and I will explore the topic in a new article.

Love,

Isil