Personal experiences with Ableism - Part 1

Thank you to a dear friend for the courage to get some of these things down before I start researching.

I have taken on the role as chair of an EDIA (Equity, Diversity, Inclusion and Accessibility) committee and it's prompted me to explore and research my own understanding of terms like privilege, anti-racism, ableism, et al. Before I delve into reading some of the new books I've ordered, I decided to reflect on my own personal experience with ableism. Thank you to others in the disability community for helping me navigate this space for myself, and to honour the needs of others.

A 10 year reflection on ableism:

Part 1

Ableism is showing up to a new group, or returning after your disability, with a new mobility aid and constantly being asked by colleagues and strangers “What happened? What did you do? Why do you have that?”

Ableism is receiving judgement because you can no longer do the work activities you used to (stairs, steel-toed work boots, field work etc…)

Ableism is being forced to evacuate down 30+ flights of stairs in a high rise because you could not be accommodated in a fire drill and then missing days of work to recover.

Ableism is trying to not make the same mistake again and being unable to evacuate during a real event because there was no answer at the building’s front desk.

Ableism is attending a conference and

? Not eating, or bringing your own food – or even eating something you know is going to make you sick – because of the stares, rolled eyes and other negative reactions of folks when you ask for your dietary needs.

? Being late to every session because there is little to no time between sessions to accommodate for your needs (taking the long way to find an elevator, etc…).

? Getting judgmental looks and side-eyes when you leave your mobility aid to dance, walk around, stretch. (not everyone with a mobility aid needs it constantly. Not all disabilities are visible. As disabled people, we struggle DAILY to work within our limits. It is not our job to perform or do less for your comfort.)

? Being told by a stranger while waiting to take the elevator down one flight that you should take the stairs as you would probably be less disabled if you exercised and lost weight.

? Missing out on key tours, events or activities because no one thought to provide accommodations or because events were planned at locations without access.

? Feeling “less than” for an entire event because you feel like you are constantly speaking up for yourself and being treated like “high maintenance”.

Ableism is having a hearing impairment and missing key questions and comments because people keep saying, “I don’t need a mic, I can talk loud enough…”

Ableism is getting yelled at by a stranger for parking in a disabled parking spot with a legitimate placard because you don’t “look disabled”.

Ableism is being stranded at the end of an airport terminal because you were missed on the wheelchair accommodation request and instead of getting help from the first employee you see, you get yelled at for taking an important service from someone who really needs it.

Ableism is not having a safe place to disclose needs without having to disclose to everyone.

Ableism is making a post like this to raise awareness and feeling deep fear of someone else's reaction being inspiration, pity, disdain, cynicism and even outright hostility. As one who is involved in creating events and spaces, I am researching this so I can be part of the solution.

Ableism is making a post like this and then feeling guilty for making anyone feel like they are being called out or shamed for their part in this space when it is so prevalent everywhere. Judgement and shame never inspired anyone. Awareness and willingness to adjust is key.