Personal Development Starts From Within

In 1998, I had just moved to Michigan during my senior year of high school from my hometown of Philadelphia. This was an incredibly tough transition for me. Many of my peers had already laid the foundation for where they were going to college, what they were going to study, and the career path that they had imagined for themselves. For them the future was clear, and there was at least a 4 year plan.

My story was very different. Sparing the details of the bitterness that I was battling due to the unforeseen uprooting of my life that had just occurred, I found myself suddenly with no clear vision for the years ahead. For much of my schooling I maintained a high GPA, had perfect attendance 11 out of 12 years, excelled academically and athletically, and had a wide choice of schools to choose from. This move shook me. It has been 20 years since, and I can still feel the freshness of the cliff dive that would follow. I would finish my senior year missing 37 days of school, my GPA suffered greatly, and I would decide to go to a community college.

My first job in this new season of life that I suddenly found myself in would be as a "host" at an american bar and grill. It paid the bills, I lived at home, and just tried to adapt and fit in, seeking acceptance from almost anyone and anything. Interestingly enough, this restaurant was also the first place we ate as a family in Michigan on moving day. As we sat that day waiting for our food, I found myself captivated by the minor difference of the name tags between the wait staff and the management staff. I remembered asking our waiter why the managers had gold embossed name badges, and why everyone else had plastic white ones. His answer was a simple profound statement that would have a lasting effect on my life. "They are the leaders of our company." What did it mean to be a leader? I didn't know what it meant, but I knew one thing, I wanted one of those gold name badges when I started working there.

Within in a few months of starting my job there, I remembered asking the Assistant General Manager, "How do I become a manager?" He responded, "Why do you want to become one?"(Imagine his surprise if I told him it was for the name badge!) I responded, "Because I want to become a leader." He said, "Well, being a manager and being a leader are two very different things, but if you want to become a manager, let's start there." He walked over to the bar and grabbed a beverage napkin, commonly known as a "bev-nap", and wrote down five simple things for me to start doing. I looked at the bev-nap and said, "That's it?" He said, "That's it. Finish those and come see me when you are done."

I remembered walking away that day filled with excitement and enthusiasm, maybe it was because I was on my way to getting one of those fancy name badges, maybe it was because someone believed in me, or perhaps it was because I was pursing personal growth.

I folded the bev-nap up, put it in my pocket and each day before walking into work, climbed the steps to the front door gazing at it with an intent to check off another step from the small list of five steps he had given me. At the end of the week, I approached him to tell him that I had finished the assignment. He told me to wait until the restaurant closed, and we would sit down to review and discuss. That was a night that felt like it would never end. I stood patiently outside of the office, folding silverware, peeking inside the office door each time it opened to see if he was done. When everyone had left, he came out to talk. He congratulated me on completing the list, but said more important than anything on that list was my desire to ask for a plan, complete it, and seek his feedback. I will never forget this moment in time. I became a manager, wore the fancy name badge, but I received so much more.

Over the past 20 years, having served in various leadership roles in management, marketing, operations, and human resources, the small amount of time that an Assistant General Manager of a small chain restaurant spent investing in me has had a profound impact in my life, and in the lives of others I have led and coached. I have spent my life contagiously seeking resources to continue to grow myself, and opportunities to develop others.

How do you identify leadership potential both within yourself, and within others? Once you recognize it's there, how do you develop it?

There are two absolutes about personal development, the first is that it starts from within, the second is that it never ends.

Regardless of the motivation, whether it is a title, a paycheck, a sense of achievement, or the noble desire of wanting to impact others, there has to be a "why". This is nothing new, the social feeds are confettied with authors of the "starting with why" concept. More important than the why is something that is rarely discussed, and that is the level of desire, dedication, and personal accountability one has to have to achieve it.

As leaders, how do we invest our time in others to help them recognize their potential, encourage their determination, and help them establish personal accountability to achieve their end goal?

In my years in operations and human resources, I spent many hours both writing and reviewing "IDPs" (Individual Development Plans). Late hours of the night on my laptop, pages upon pages of competencies, supporting behaviors, and action step recommendations, each filled with lengthy vernacular to impress the senior leaders that would review them before I would approve or deliver. Looking back, I certainty spent more time on the documents than I did on the conversation ... time I wish I could have back and reverse. Over those same years, I have had many IDPs in various roles for my own development, and as impressive as many of them where, none of them compare to the impact that bev-nap had 20 years ago.

Not to minimize AGMs out there, but his skill set was much more than that entry level management role would usually require. He was right when he said there is a big difference between managers and leaders, it was his willingness and capacity to spend the time developing me through conversation that made him a leader, and his belief in my potential.

Managers see a person as who they are. Leaders see a person as who they can become.

That statement holds true for both how we see others and how we see ourselves. I mentioned the second absolute of personal development is that it never ends...

What do you see when you look at yourself, your current role, title, or career path? Do you see where you are ... or do you see where you are going and what you can become?

If your answer was the latter, regardless of what you have already accomplished, do yourself a favor ... the next time you go out to lunch, grab a bev-nap, a pen, and the ear of a leader who can help you unlock the potential from within.

Davin J. Salvagno

Educator & Speaker / Field Director & Financial Advisor for Northwestern Mutual