The Personal Development Program No One Asked For

My 6th lesson I experienced during 10 years in business? Avoiding, hiding, and procrastinating - the trifecta of fear.?

Turns out, business ownership is the personal development program no one asked for.?

And in my journey to being a business owner and running a business for 10 years, I had to get real candid with myself. I mean, uncomfortably visible with myself. I had to come to terms with my default behaviors and characteristics.?

Beyond that, I had to embrace my strengths, the things that I am good at, and the uniqueness that I have - all of those things are also my Achilles heel.

I’ve learned that my drive and strive to achieve can be a weakness. When I don't think I have the perfect answer, or can’t be “right”, my default behavior is to go hide, avoid, and procrastinate.?

In fact, I can still see myself in my apartment in college, in my bedroom, finding everything to do but sit down in front of the computer and write the paper that was due the next day. My room had never been so clean. My drawers had never been so organized.?

I now understand that I was avoiding, hiding, and procrastinating on writing the paper because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to do it right. I wouldn't get an A. I couldn't just write the paper for the sake of writing the paper. And so I spent a long time seeking the safety of avoidance and procrastination, because being wrong was too uncomfortable.?

This all made me feel too exposed. And so I let fear stay in the driver's seat.?

Now, I see that I have this pattern especially with money related tasks and topics.?

For example, bookkeeping for me was a comedy of errors. And I tried, I thought, all of the things to make it work, but it really needed my full attention and understanding and guidance - not my avoidance, hiding, and procrastination.?

Collections and pricing were other areas this pattern came up. With those, I was always striving to be “right.” Spoiler alert, there is no “right.”?

I would procrastinate, hide and avoid by not sending the proposal, and find something else to do besides tackling the bookkeeping, or having the conversation about the bill being overdue.?

But none of this helped at all. In fact, it just created bigger problems, which caused more hiding and avoiding and procrastinating.

To break out of this vicious cycle required me to shine light on it, face it head on, and be real with myself about the fear. Then I set out to find ways to counteract the fear by building skills, getting support, having people help, and sometimes by just having my Biz Bestie on the other side of the Skype call nudging me along.?

Slowly but surely I’m getting used to embracing feeling uncomfortable or exposed - fear no longer sits in the driver’s seat, even though it still comes along for the ride.?

If you’re enjoying these lessons learned from 10 years in business, I’d love to know, please drop me a like or a comment below.