A personal code for happier, more fulfilling relationship

Most of the time when we meet someone for the first time we always pretend to be someone we not. And suppose they find find out in a few weeks' or months' or years'time, when you finally crack? They are not going to be very impressed, and nor would you be if it was them who turned out to have been acting out of character all along.

I'm not saying you shouldn't try to turn over the occasional new leaf; improved yourself a bit. We should all be doing that all the time, and only in our love life. Sure, you can try to be a bit more organised, or less negative. Changing your behaviour is all fine and good. This rules is about changing your basic personality. That won't work, and you will tie yourself in knots trying to do it convincingly . So be yourself. Might as well get it all out in the open now. And if that's not what they are looking for, at least you won't get i too deep before they find out. And you know what? Maybe they don't actually like sophisticated. Perhaps strong silent types don't do it for them. Maybe they'll love your upfront sense of humour. Perhaps they want to be with someone who needs a bit looking after. You see if you fake it, you will attract someone who belongs with a person that isn't you.

Get over it before you get on with it

We all get battered and bruised by life, that's inevitable. some of us come off worse than others. Of course, it's the scars that give us character, so they're not all bad in the long run. But in the short term we need to recover before we re-enter the fray.

If your last relationship or two has left you a bit of an emotional wreck, it's better to repair the damage before you start looking for a new lover and partner. Otherwise you won't be able to show them the real you, and you wont be able to focus on them if you still preoccupied with yourself.

If you make a mistake with your new relationship (and it happens to all of us) you could end up more bruise than you started. And even if you did manage to find someone truly caring and loving, both of you could suffer for the fact that one of you wasn't ready yet to launch into a relationship.

You wont be happy with a partner until you can be happy on your own.... Far too many people stay in unhappy relationship because they are scared to be alone.

some people put up with flak they don't deserve, out of fear of being own our own. The good news is all can change once you realise you could be happy own our own, you can then set our standard higher and wouldn't put up with second best. Learn to be happy and secure own your own. That way, you you'll never stay in bad situation for fear of being left alone. If it's not working out, you can simple leave. far too many people stay in unhappy relationship because they are scared to be alone. Rules Players learn to enjoy living alone, so that when they do choose to throw in their lot with with a new partner it'f for the right reasons.

Once you master this, you will only ever live with anyone else because you love them and they make you happy. Being alone is great, but being with them is ever better. If that's stops being the case, you are free to leave.

If you Aren't sure right at the beginning, That's normal.

The rule is that if you're not sure if it's the right one, don't take a gamble on it. Because if they are the right one , you will know it, even if it take a bit time. In other words , if it's right you will be sure ---either straight away, or a bit.

If you are absolutely sure this is the right person the moment you clap eyes on them, you are very lucky (unless it happens to you every time, in which case you need to have serious word yourself). The important thing, though, is not to commit your-self until you're certain. How many divorced people have you heard say, Do you know even on my wedding day I was wondering if I was doing the right thing.'

Well can tell you. If you're still wondering about it on your wedding day, then no, you're not doing the right thing. What you're doing is making a big mistake. Marriage and/or kids are tough enough when you are sure you're with the right person. IT'S LUNACY TO ENTER IT WITHOUT EVEN BEING CERTAIN OF THAT.

Choose some who make you laugh/ A sense of humour will last you long after everything else has gone.

If you choose your partner for their looks , their status , even the rest of the personality, you could regret it eventually. Anyway, lots of those things can get lost along the way. Even personality traits can change- a confident person can be shattered by an emotional trauma, a patient person can become irritable and frustrated through illness or pain.

But a sense of humour will last you long after everything else has gone. When you're both sitting there in your rocking chairs, decades after retirement, and the kids have long since grown up, it may be all you have left. And if it is , it will be enough.

Laughter is worth it's weight in gold. A sense of humour is a very personal thing, and some people just make us laugh more than others. When you find the person who really makes you laugh more than anyone else, Marry them. That's my advice. Assuming they are the right sex. You're almost guaranteed to fancy them, because anyone who makes you laugh will be hugely attractive, even if they are not physically what you'd been anticipating.

Being less than a hundred percent attractive is a great filter

If you are not in a relationship at the moment, it's tempting to blame your looks -maybe you're overweight, or going bald, or getting bags under your eyes, or too short, or too tall, or have wonky teeth.

Well, look around you. All over the world people fatter, balder, Wrinklier, Taller, Shorter, or more in need of a trip to the dentist than you, are happily settled in relationships with people who love them. And, no, they didn't all start out looking perfect.

Those extra pounds, or that bald patch, or the teeth- They're deterring all those shallow people who might have wanted you for your looks and then left you when you got older or put on weight. But now you don't have to worry about them. They'll leave you alone.

Anyone worth having, on the other hand, will love you for yourself and won't mind the physical imperfections (if they even consider them imperfections). Would you turn someone perfect down just because they were a bit overweight, or wore glasses, or had a big nose? I hope not. So why would anyone worthwhile do it to you? Actually, this isn't just looks. The same is true for wealth and status- being poor or having no car or living in a rented bedsit are great look filters too.

So be confident, and know that you are attractive to anyone deep enough to care about the whole of you, and not just what you'll look like on their arm. And when that someone finds you, you'll feel sexy and special and completely forget about your flows . ANYONE WORTH HAVING WILL LOVE YOU FOR YOURSELF.