Be the Person Your 12-Year-Old Self Was Looking For
Peter Smulovics
Executive Director at Morgan Stanley, Microsoft MVP, Vice Chair of Technical Oversight Committee, Chair of Open Source Readiness, InnerSource, Emerging Technologies in The Linux Foundation, FSI Autism Hackathon organizer
There’s a universal moment of introspection when we ask ourselves, “Am I living the life I once dreamed of?” This question is particularly poignant when we think about the hopes and dreams we had as children. The phrase “be the person your 12-year-old self was looking for” captures this sentiment beautifully, urging us to reflect on our childhood aspirations and become the adult our younger selves needed. But what does that really mean, and how can we embody this ideal in our everyday lives?
1. Reconnect with Your Inner Child
To begin this journey, it's essential to reconnect with your 12-year-old self. Reflect on who you were at that age: What were your dreams? What were your fears? What excited you? What did you want to be when you grew up? These questions are crucial because they tap into the essence of who you are—before the world told you who you should be.
Our younger selves often have a clarity of purpose that gets muddled as we grow older. By reconnecting with that child, you can rediscover passions and goals that may have been sidelined by life's demands.
2. Cultivate Compassion and Kindness
At 12, many of us were seeking kindness, understanding, and validation. The world can be a harsh place for a child on the cusp of adolescence. Bullies, insecurities, and the fear of the unknown can be overwhelming. As adults, we have the power to be the compassionate presence our younger selves needed.
Practice empathy in your daily interactions. Be kind not just to others, but also to yourself. Remember that the compassion you show today would have been a beacon of hope to your younger self.
3. Pursue Your Passions Relentlessly
Remember the excitement you felt when engaging in activities you loved as a child? Whether it was drawing, writing, playing sports, or exploring nature, these passions are a direct link to your inner joy. As adults, it’s easy to let go of these hobbies in favor of more "practical" pursuits. However, by nurturing these passions, you honor the curiosity and enthusiasm of your 12-year-old self.
Make time for the things that light up your soul. Even if they don’t directly contribute to your career or income, they contribute to your happiness, which is just as important.
4. Embrace Learning and Growth
A 12-year-old is a sponge, eager to learn, grow, and understand the world. This thirst for knowledge often diminishes as we age, replaced by the comfort of routine and the fear of failure. But to be the person your younger self was looking for, it’s vital to maintain a growth mindset.
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Challenge yourself to learn new things, step out of your comfort zone, and embrace change. Whether it’s picking up a new skill, exploring a different culture, or simply reading more, continuous learning keeps the spirit of your younger self alive.
5. Stand Up for What’s Right
As children, many of us had a strong sense of justice. We believed in standing up for what’s right, even if we didn’t always have the courage to do so. As adults, it’s our responsibility to be that voice of reason and morality.
Don’t shy away from difficult conversations or challenging situations. Whether it’s advocating for someone who’s been wronged or standing firm in your beliefs, being the person your younger self needed means having the courage to speak out against injustice.
6. Build Meaningful Relationships
At 12, friendships are everything. We seek out connections that are genuine, supportive, and understanding. As we grow older, relationships often become more complex and sometimes less fulfilling. Yet, meaningful connections are just as important now as they were then.
Surround yourself with people who uplift you, who believe in you, and who bring out the best in you. Be the friend you needed at 12—loyal, understanding, and present.
7. Live Authentically
Perhaps the most significant way to honor your 12-year-old self is by living an authentic life. Children are often unfiltered, expressing themselves freely and without fear. However, as we grow, societal pressures can cause us to hide parts of who we are.
Strive to live authentically, embracing all aspects of your identity. Whether it’s your personality, your dreams, or your values, don’t be afraid to show the world who you truly are. Your 12-year-old self was looking for someone who was unapologetically themselves—be that person.
Conclusion
To be the person your 12-year-old self was looking for is not about living in the past, but rather, about bringing forward the best parts of your childhood into your present and future. It’s about embracing the dreams, kindness, and authenticity that defined your younger self and letting them guide you toward a more fulfilling life. By doing so, you not only honor the person you were but also create a life that would make your 12-year-old self proud.
Sr. Customer Success Account Manager | Families ERG Communities Co-Chair | Shepherd Leader with an Innovator's Mindset
3 个月What a fantastic post Peter Smulovics! It’s inspiring to reflect on the impact we want to make and the legacy we wish to leave. Speaking of reflection, have you ever wondered, “Did I live the life of significance I once dreamed of?” as a 80-year-old future self? It’s a powerful moment of introspection, especially when considering the hopes we had as children. How can we align our lives with the aspirations of our younger selves??I invite all of us to schedule a virtual coffee with your 80-year-old future self for a deep delightful conversations. ??
Husband, Father and Manager
3 个月That is awesome Peter!!! I love this truly!