Persistence: The Road to Resilience Helps You Try, Try Again

With perseverance, you can build the life you want to live.

You’ve probably seen the photo of an old stone lighthouse in the storm, with overwhelming waves crashing against it and around it. It looks like it will surely be knocked down…but it’s not. Those waves go on year in and year out, decades upon decades, but it stands strong. It stands to give light to ships in the storm. Steadfast, it shines its light, no matter what.

This is persistence. Holding steadfast to the hope for better days, believing in the peace that will follow the storm, no matter how great the pressure… it endures.

Storms are a part of every life, and the risk of collapse is real. If there was no fear, no risk, the endurance would be unremarkable.

However, because the risk is real, there is great reward when you see the calm that follows the storm. And each storm that you survive prepares you to be stronger to withstand the next one.

Holding Steady in Chronic Illness and Abuse

Marti withstood storms. Life-threatening illness that came in waves and threatened to destroy her. An abusive partner who shifted from violent to repentant and back again, bringing her within an inch of her life. Repeatedly.

But each time, she nursed her wounds, and determined to try again.

Marty had contemplated or attempted suicide quite a few times in the 25 years she’d been depressed. Through those times Marty’s depression worsened and she wanted to die, but she kept holding on for a day when life might get better.

After her ketamine treatment, she discovered that she still had some of the perseverance she’d developed through those years of constant crisis. And, she learned about the importance of practicing endurance, self-control, letting go, and honesty with herself.

As the ketamine treatment continued to improve her outlook long after the infusions were over, she thought often about how to work on her “infrastructure”that she’d heard so much about.

How to increase her own determination to stand steady when some symptom returned, by knowing it would pass again like they’d come to do. 

Or to keep putting one foot in front of the other when she lost her job and wanted to give up. …Or when she had 2 twelve-day hospitalizations the same month and she couldn’t see a time when she would be well.

Persistence – The Road to Resilience – May Be Enhanced by Ketamine

While she was undergoing ketamine treatment, she arranged with her therapist to have a session 24 hours after each infusion. It was clear she needed therapy to heal from the scars of that abusive relationship.

And she’d understood that there was something special about the 24 mark after the infusion that really helped the therapy to be more effective.

Marti found the neuroplasticity ketamine treatment had initiated allowed her to see through her faulty thinking in that relationship, so she could heal, and move forward in her life.

It encouraged her when she realized that each time she held steady through a period of emotionally swinging out of control, she felt stronger to do that the next time.

After awhile, she also worked at being kind to others in the wake of her symptoms subsiding post- infusion. The more times she stopped herself from over reacting toward someone, the easier it was the next time.

Each of these steps helped her peace to grow. She felt more serene, more confident in her ability to function in life. And in her healthier state, she found someone new who brought out the best in her, and supported her healing and restoration.

She’s now in full remission and kindness has again become the backdrop of her nature, though her assertive personality is still fully hers. She couldn’t have gained this ground without ketamine, but once she had its help, she made great strides that paid off in the reward of a fulfilling life.

Holding Steady Between Bipolar Episodes

Bernie withstood storms. Like Marty, he came close to succumbing to them. The frequent storms of bipolar depression made survival appear like an ugly life sentence, with no escape. 

But, then his parents heard about ketamine treatment. They gave him articles to read …and the more he learned, the more he wanted it. 

After the treatment, he felt relieved… but there were still symptoms some of the time. When symptoms did come up, he knew he needed to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and keep moving forward, because he could finally see hope.

He found that the reduced symptoms and his better frame of mind in between was making his life more “endurable” when the symptoms did rise up.

Persistence is believing in good days ahead when a storm is pounding down on you and your ship is breaking apart beneath your feet.

Persistence knows that no matter how overwhelming this moment…or this decade…seems to be, there will be a better day – a happier ending.

When you’re persistent, your mind is focused on the positive outcome of the crushing circumstances you’re enduring, and you know that you don’t want obstacles like complaining or an attitude of defeat to prevent you from reaching that reward. So you look at the promise you see of what lies ahead, rather than focusing on or magnifying the circumstances you’re in.

And like Marty, each time you hold onto that promise and plod forward with determination, you gain more strength to do it again in an even worse storm. You get stronger.

The seeming foreverness of each bout with illness that never seemed to stop for years, and the seeming inevitability that the abuse would finally end her life, only bowed and gave way to her hope as she worked with the ketamine treatment to change her outlook.

And hope, as well as the ability to be resilient during storms, finally took root and stayed.

So persistence is a component of strength you can develop, nurture, and establish within yourself. Like a well-dug foundation it will hold you on course during the most threatening times of life. 

Persistence is akin to perseverance.

Keep on keeping on…no matter how shrill the wind whistles. And no matter how long you pull your cap down over your head and bow into the freezing rain, you will endure.Because that persevering will hold firm in your mind the view on the other side of what’s going on, and it gives you the durability to emerge from the whole horror unscathed. 

A bit wiser, a bit stronger, yes. But with a new confidence that drives away fear.

In time, you can arm yourself with that new confidence and the hard-earned wisdom that reminds you what it takes to survive, and build the future you find in the pot o’ gold on the other side.

One step at a time. With determination, and a new instinctive sense that it’s persistence that will keep you on the scene so you can enjoy the rewards that await you.

Because it’s persistence that helps you try again and again and again. Perseverance tells you to get back up after falling down, brush yourself off, figure out why you fell, and incorporate that new knowledge into your next try.

Stubborn Persistence is Required for Marriage to Survive

Do you notice older couples who are white haired, and take evening walks holding hands with their dog on a leash? Ever wonder how they stayed in love that long?

It wasn’t magic.

There is no 40-, 50-, 60-year marriage or more that lasted that long without persistence. No one knows how to make a marriage work on the wedding day. 

Some may have a little more insight than others about getting along, or putting someone else’s interests ahead of their own.

In this generation of self-assertion and self-absorption, that’s all but a lost art. Still, it wasn’t an accident that two people with stooped posture and white hair feel like holding hands and enjoying each other’s company after so many decades of living together. 

To enjoy their autumn years, they had to learn early about getting back up and trying again. They’ve most likely had times when they couldn’t stand each other and didn’t want to stay together even another day. But one of them, one time or another, probably stepped up with persistence and determined to build a bridge, forgive the other one, and ask for forgiveness, too.

Without that? They wouldn’t have made it to their next anniversary. And you can ask them…but I’d guess with confidence that they both have done that many times…and more times than they can count… they’ve each taken turns at playing that role, until they managed to get really good at it. 

Over time they learned that persistence, road to resilience, has kept their marriage strong.

…And, eventually realized they were glad they were still together…to watch their children graduate from high school; to give away their daughters in marriage; and to welcome and play with their grandchildren and great grandchildren. 

You’re Human, After All

Everyone falls down in their endeavors. But the persistent ones brush off and get back up and try again…and again… As many times as it takes as long as they live.

That kind of persistence leads to success, and resilience, and countless rewards.

Does a three-year-old play the violin like a maestro the first time he picks it up? 

No.

He makes mistakes and gets frustrated. He wants to throw it away and forget it. But his mom, whose name is Persistence, sees that he picks it back up and tries again. And practices. Again and again… and over the years, the 3-year-old eventually lands 1st chair in high school… and later gets to decide if he’d like to accept that invitation to play in the Philadelphia Philharmonic.

What do you want to bet he’s now become so good at persistence, he knows how to apply it in countless areas of his life? As with the hare and the tortoise: slow and steady – consistently – wins the race.

Persistence.

Honestly? Without perseverance and persistence there’s not much you can accomplish in life. Because everyone falls down. Everyone gets discouraged at some point. Everyone fails at something. Abandoning the vision strikes the death blow to that endeavor.

However, with persistence there’s nothing you cannot do. The more you use it, the stronger it gets. Until persisting is part of who you are, and a tool you put to use in every project. And persistence gives way to resilience. 

The character of a psychiatric disorder – the actual activity of it in the brain – wears down resilience, and flattens out persistence. If you’ve suffered from depression, social anxiety, PTSD, bipolar depression, or addiction, or suicidal thinking, you probably can’t imagine the resilience and persistence required to stand up after you’ve been down so long. 

But that’s where ketamine comes in. Since at least a third of all people afflicted with these disorders experience no relief from prescribed medications, something more novel and advanced is required to bring relief. Ketamine treatment is the first treatment that has made an extraordinary difference for these patients.

And it’s such an advantage that another benefit of ketamine is its neuroplasticity that makes it easier for you to make changes in your mind that allow you adapt to your circumstances, reduce your stress, apply persistence, and build resilience.

 if you’re even considering treatment with IV ketamine, or have recently received it, you know you have persistence and a good measure of grit.

You know what it’s been like…how you’ve been able to withstand the disappointment of one treatment after another — or one effort after another — not working. You already have some persistence working for you.

Ketamine delivers a one – two punch. First restoring connections in the signaling systems in the brain, and then providing neuroplasticity to help you make the changes in your outlook you want to put in place.

Because if you’ve been depressed, and now you feel better after ketamine treatment, you want to keep feeling better, right?

You want to do the work that will help you maintain a remission frame of mind. So you can continue growing, and press on with developing the life you want to live. The best way to do that is to remove the stressors in your life. 

We do the work, too. We’re up at night, reading, refining, persisting in trying to identify the best treatment options that can get you back to your best self. We offer treatment when your symptoms persist, when your doctors have done all they can, when you’ve just gotten tired. 

We’re here to help you win your battles… and in that process, persistence is priceless.

Call us if we can help. 

To the persistence of your best self, 

Lori Calabrese, M.D.