Persist and Persevere

When I started working on this book, I was very optimistic. I said to myself – writing is easy, I used to do it before, I can totally write one percent of the book every day – that’s just 500 words, and in one hundred days I’ll have it all done. But it didn’t work that way. I quickly zipped through the first quarter and bragged about it to my friends and family, but then I got stuck. Life happened, as it usually does, and I stopped writing completely. I became immersed in personal and work-related problems, then the COVID-19 pandemic started, and I had to focus on that, and so on.

What I didn’t recognize was that it is typical, and should be expected, to get stuck around that point. Here is what Jerry B. Jenkins said about this in his YouTube video How to Write a Book: 13 Steps from a Bestselling Author:

We often talk in fiction about the marathon of the middle and how that stops everybody. That's one of the places that I stopped, too. I mean, I've written over 190 books, and every time I get to the halfway or 3/4 point, I wonder why I ever thought I could do this. <...> The problem with the marathon of the middle is we've all got great ideas to start, and we can't wait to get to that big finish but now we've got a couple hundred pages in the middle to fill.

Of course, this doesn’t just apply to book writing. We encounter roadblocks and obstacles in our day-to-day life and our work. I’ve had nine jobs in my life so far counting the ones in Siberia, Moscow, and Canada, and not one of them was a smooth ride. There were always challenges, issues, frustrations, setbacks, crises, and failures. What my mom kept telling me is “diligence is the mother of success”, and that stuck with me.

So why do people give up, and how can you avoid doing this yourself?

First comes fear. People may fear their failure more than they want the end results, and that may be caused by a lack of self-confidence stemming from failures in their previous undertakings. It might even be their fear of success, fear of the unknown, and thus fear of the future in general. To overcome your fears, you must build up your confidence and remind yourself about your big goals and your past achievements. One of my first managers made fun of me when I created a “wall of fame” for myself by putting my certificates in frames on the wall behind my desk. I did this many times over my career – I made my achievements visual and put them where I could see them all the time. Even when I was awarded with virtual praise, I printed them, put them in frames and hung them on my cubicle wall or home office wall. Such visual reminders can help boost your self-confidence and help you push through your fears, shyness and self-doubt.

One of my first favorite TED Talks is the “Secrets of success in 8 words, 3 minutes” by Richard St. John. One of the words he mentions is persistence:

[Co-founder of Excite] Joe Kraus says, "Persistence is the number one reason for our success." You've got to persist through failure. You've got to persist through CRAP! Which of course means "Criticism, Rejection, Assholes and Pressure."

I also like listening to Alina Gingertail’s songs on YouTube, and at the end of one of them she shares her story of rejection and persistence:

When my channel was very small, some videos suddenly started gaining views, and I was receiving a lot of comments about how I had a horrible voice and that I shouldn't sing. Some of those comments got hundreds of likes, and I got really self-conscious about my voice. After that, I stopped singing, and for a few months I made instrumental videos. But then I realized that you have to keep doing what you love, gain experience and not stop. Since then, my channel has grown a lot, and I have a huge, awesome audience.

Remember the proverb “When the going gets tough, the tough get going”? That’s what it’s all about for me!

The second reason many people give up is due to a lack of a proper resource management, such as when people work too much, don’t recuperate enough, don’t get enough sleep or care about themselves in other ways, and end up feeling burned out. You have to pay attention to your needs and re-prioritize certain things, as there are only 24 hours in each day. You will probably need to give up something to fit that time where you will take some courses or work on your side business, creative project, or website – that something that will get you closer to your goals. You can build and improve on that self-awareness and internal resource management so instead of getting angry, unmotivated, or sad, you’ll just tell yourself – wait a minute, it feels like I need some sleep, or some food, or some fun – whatever you’re missing the most.

Here is an excerpt from Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification book by Christopher Peterson:

Several studies have found that people are less likely to persist on difficult or unsolvable problems if they have already exerted self-control on a prior task, such as attempting to control their thoughts or emotions or resisting the temptation to eat chocolates and cookies. Some recent evidence suggests that the capacity for self-control is enhanced by positive emotions, and there is evidence that people in good moods persist longer (and perform better) at solving tasks.

The third main reason why people give up is that they have unrealistic expectations. People often aim for instant gratification, quick results, or a dose of dopamine when they reach their goals. Yet, if it’s a big goal, it usually means there’s a long journey to reach it; it is not a sprint, but a marathon. To get that gratification, you need to split your long journey into several reasonably short ones, set smaller milestones and reward yourself when you reach them. You must remind yourself that it won’t happen overnight, as it will take time, effort, and persistence to get there. Expect delays and obstacles that you’ll have to overcome. Some people say, “Slow and steady wins the race”, while others say that success requires a combination of commitment, patience, and perseverance.

Now back to my book. As you can see, I did finish it, though it took me not a hundred but a thousand days (that’s three years). And I hope that you will persist and persevere through anything and everything that stands in the way to reaching your goals.