Permission to be Unhappy

In a time when the nefarious sexual proclivities of Jeffrey Epstein and "Bust (That Pussy) Open" by Lil Wil and can co-exist in the same space - one being lip-synced by millions of girls under the age of 18 on TikTok and the other one, well, dead, its very obvious that hypocrisy and chaos are cornerstones of living in the age of hyper-media and AI. Are we creating a self-fulfilling prophecy against everything we are supposed to be solving?

We can easily draw a parallel to the deep misogyny in our society, the abuse of girls, women, the ultimate Mother Earth, and her consort, music, at the hands of those hungry for power and wealth. Are we at some level complicitous handmaidens and manservants to this abuse? Epstein representing the tip of the iceberg on this on so many levels. It is time we asked ourselves how we are being complicit?

We can all be hypocrites and in a state of personal chaos on one level or another.

A by-product of the hypocrisy, chaos and craziness currently in overdrive -as we navigate a new world order and possible extinction - is the hijacking of spirituality. "Love and light everybody!" It's a most subversive form of addiction. It seems we are all slaves to something or someone. Thank you Russell Brand for exploring this theme with bold constancy.

The heartland of this heist is the self-help industry, worth over $US11 billion. You could be forgiven for thinking that its objective is to help you to perpetuate your imagined or real unhappiness. If you are a sinner, you need to be saved. If you are depressed you need to do something to - yoga, meditate, chant, tantric sex, run, talk, paint, write........ (fill in your blank) your way out of your problems. Anything is better than nothing, right?

The advertising industry (an industry which reached a $US500 Billion + spend in 2019, $US95 Billion of which was on Google) has embraced spirituality and we would do well to pause to reflect. Its no longer about buying a gadget or makeup or alcohol or bag to be cool or sexy or create the appearance of wealth. Now the purchase will contribute to our personal happiness, create the frequency of love in our lives or emotionally connect us to helping others. Its now OK to be of any body size or sexual persuasion, but still... buy this....

My journey of self-discovery and a library full of self-help books has brought me to the following understandings: No-one and no-thing can fix me; unhappiness is a choice (this is not to deny each person's experience); what I listen to and the company I keep are who I become. The thoughts that I think and the feelings I feel create all the experiences in my life. Thank you Joe Dispenze.

It would be sobering to add up all the money spent on self-help and self-improvement courses - I include the western iteration of yoga in this mix ( and I am a yoga teacher) It wasn't until I took my first 10 day total silent-no-contact-with-the-outside-world ( and I mean NO contact - no phone, no iPad, no kindle, no computer)-Vipassana retreat and spent 8 hours a day focusing on my own breath, appropriately right under my nose - as most answers are - that the lunacy of looking outside to solve deep inside problems crystalized. The pinnacle of looking outside most obviously shows up in the busy lives we cram into our calendars and the causes that we righteously support which subjugate our own heartache.

I have since taken two more of these silent retreats. They are powerful, insightful, self-healing and I leave them refreshed and renewed - real holidays. Much happens during these powerful deep dives into the abyss of silence. Awareness unfolds when you don't have the endless stream of sound - now most potently and prominently in minor chords which creates sadness see https://www.nme.com/blogs/nme-blogs/the-science-of-music-why-do-songs-in-a-minor-key-sound-sad-760215

At the Vipassanna course I discovered that at the heart of all unhappiness is the things that other people and/or situations have "done to me" (and I have subsequently adapted to), and all my fears ultimately stem from my fear of death. My (our) addiction to endlessly spinning around the stories of my life, without resolution, can be a distraction to keep me from really exploring my deepest unhappiness. We are all using versions of this - some overt some subversive.... sex, alcohol, drugs, supplements, music, resentment, fame, food, power, philanthropy, work, intellect, money, 'creativity', illness.....to give us a false momentarily high or to control our environment and others. David Hawkins says that we are not ever addicted to the condition or the substance, we are addicted to the temporary nirvanic state or the sense of power that it brings with it.

So if a give myself permission, real permission to be unhappy, swimming against the tide of our "happiness" culture what happens?

Its Messy, because emotions and emotional honesty can often be very messy. Every personal drama has at its source a will to be free.

A potent death at an impressionable age can ignite such deep grief, which, if buried, will reek havoc later on. ( This happened twice before my 10th birthday and again when I was 18.) That death ( or substitute any trauma) , if processed and understood in the larger context of death and life as a continuum, can be the greatest fuel for our own personal liberation. I understand it takes what it takes and happens when it happens, if at all.

Will we rise to the challenge?

There is no road map for this and no one can do it for them, or us. But a few of things may be helpful and worth thinking about.

Who we surround ourselves with is of primary importance. Have you ever stopped talking to a toxic family member so you could give yourself some space to figure things out? More potently what you listen to is even more important since music is medicine and right now we are being driven into a deeper brain entrainment by it.

What are you listening to that's fueling your state of mind? Perhaps Cardi B's"I might Slap that Bitch coz I felt Like It" may not be the best to inspire peace and personal excellence inside of you? Perhaps Bust (Your Pussy) Open is not leading a generation of girls to love themselves more and 'saying no' to sexual abuse? Does Taylor Swift's war cry "Battle scars, body bumped, bruised, stabbed in the back; brimstone, fire jumping through, still, all my life, I got money and power and you gotta live with the bad blood now" represent the finest qualities of humankind?

And if you are really interested in unpacking your personal unhappiness and its true source, I recommend a 10 day silent retreat. Without all the stimulus we are normally exposed to, we finally get to explore who we really are, why we are here and what's really going on.

There is no barrier to entry, its not the playground of the elite and you don't need to spend a fortune going on "holidays" to do it. You can not pay for these retreats. They are free.

Ah, free.

#innovation #goinside #youarewhatyouthink #music #liberation #nosoulleftbehind