Permission to Purge

“I’m moving”.?

Yikes.?Ew.?Ugh.?Gross!?These are the responses I’ve heard these past few weeks as I’ve been telling people I’m moving.???It’s interesting how these two words can invoke fear, dread and visions of chaos into even the most organized people.

According to some, moving is one of the top three life stressors; right after the death of a loved one.??The packing, the purging, the labeling, the scheduling – it’s overwhelming for almost everyone.??Me??I love it.??I find it cathartic.?I relish the process of systematically pruning and purging.?I mean, when else can you tabulate all your stuff, pack up and consciously prioritize what works for you then toss or donate the rest??TAKING ONLY WHAT YOU LOVE WITH YOU??

Moving is the ultimate Maire Kondo for your life.

As I’ve been systematically sorting through all of my things the past few weeks, I’ve been thinking about how we could we apply the “doesn’t bring me joy, thank you for your service” approach to our life.?Our relationships.??Our past.?Here I share few examples from still life, which when applied to real life, show the value of giving yourself permission to purge.?

The widget:

That random plastic widget which at one time was sooooooooooo important that it received a place of honor on the shelf.?Only now I can’t remember why I needed it.?While once it was a big deal, it’s not important anymore and I would really like that that space back.?This bears repeating.?I. Need.?That. Space.?Back.??

The widget reminds me of the people in my life who once were important to me and for whatever reason have fallen off my radar.? Sounds harsh, but it's ok. People come and go in your life and not everyone was meant to have a place of honor on that shelf forever. Perhaps you have a few relationships like this as well.?The old fried whose energy really isn’t aligned with yours any more.?The childhood bestie you see on Facebook but who has faded away. The neighbor who takes up too much time and is always gossiping about the rest of the street.?Are they a fit for where you are now or rather where you were before??

Like the widget, can you remember why they got that space of honor in your head??If you can’t remember how they got to you, or the last time they brought you joy, think about what you could do with the time, energy and space you are spending in a relationship which is no longer serving you.

The plant which will not thrive in my home:

I tried.?I nurtured, I watered, I gave it miracle gro.?I did all the things and it just isn’t growing.?While the truth hurts, I have to admit to myself that it’s just not the right fit.?This once beautiful and soothing plant just wasn’t meant to live here.?So off it goes to another home, where someone else will bring it back to life, take better care of it and in doing so provide a better space for the plant to live.

Detangling yourself from the people in your life is hard.?It takes up time and energy.?If we have feelings and emotions tied to things, it's only natural for these feelings to be amplified significantly when you’re talking about people.

It’s also necessary.?

Whenever life get chaotic (and I know we’ve all redefined what chaos means over the past eighteen months), I clean out my closets.?It’s soothing for me and when my closets are good, I’m good. Same for my home right now.?I’m purging, making way for the new and saying good-bye to the old.

As we approach a new season (it’s about to be fall here in New England) or perhaps even a new season in your career, with your family, your life, your priorities - I ask you this:

What do you need to remove in your life to make room for the new???Consider this your permission to purge.

Some say energy is renewable – and it is to some extent.?I would add to this that energy is precious.?And you can’t get it back.?So, choose wisely on how you’re spending your precious energy.

Nancy Medoff is a best-selling author, keynote and executive coach who literally “wrote the book" on women and confidence.?Unmute Yourself and Speak Up to Stand Out is a game changer and a call to action for women (and men) who are ready to get their seat at the table – then build a bigger table.