Permission to change

I’m lucky to spend a lot of my time working with highly intelligent, motivated people; helping them think through decisions for themselves and their organizations. Some big decisions, some small ones, but these conversations often share a striking similarity - the people I’m speaking with usually already know what to do. 

They know the answer. They’re just stuck. 

And what makes them stuck is fear. Fear of getting it wrong, of making a mistake, of screwing something up and regretting it. And they come to me (and people like me) to validate their ideas. Sometimes we find a piece of evidence or a fact that they overlooked that helps them to re-think their idea and chart a new path, but in many cases, they would be just as well served by trying their ideas out (on a small scale to begin with) and learning as they go. And that’s usually the advice that I give them. Try it and see. 

They don’t really need a consultant or an adviser or coach. They just need the starting point of a plan and permission to move. 

So here’s a quick hit to help you get unstuck...

1. Ask yourself - what is one thing that you want to do, but are hesitating to do? Individually or for your organization.

2. Next, think about whether there is a version of that thing that you could try that isn’t as scary - is there a way to test the change before you roll it out throughout your organization or radically alter your life?

3. Now make a quick but tactical plan for the next three steps in testing it out. 1-2-3. How could you reduce the risk of failure by starting small? Who will you call to work with you? What book could you read?

4. Lastly, give yourself permission to go off and try it!

What do you do if you’re still stuck? Well, it depends on where you’re stuck. Thoughts on how to unstick (at each stage) below, but the key is permission. Don’t believe me? Google ‘motivational quotes about risk’ and hear it from fancier, more famous people...

Personally, I like the poster versions you get if you limit your search to images (lots of lions, athletes and sunrises).

Stuck at stage 1? If too many things, then pick one to begin with (it doesn’t really matter which one, you’re not doing any of them now…). If you have no ideas, then listen harder. Listen to the people you work with or to yourself. 

Stuck at stage 2? This is indeed a tricky one. Imagine what you would do if you have $100 million and a year to make this change happen. Now reduce that to $100 and a week. What’s the cheap and quick version of your grandiose plan? Play with the scale - sometimes its easier to be creative when you have no limits (and then you ratchet down the limits).

Stuck at stage 3? Maybe that’s your fear limiting you, because it knows that the instant you make a plan you’re going to do it. Try just figuring out the first next step. Don’t worry about all three. Once you’ve done the first one, the next two should become clearer. But know this - it doesn’t really matter where you start. What matters is that you start. 

And if you’re stuck on 4, then go back to those posters, pick a quote you like and repeat it again and again for yourself. Until you actually believe it.