To Permeate

It will be almost a month since I moved. Being a home-body and admittedly someone who takes awhile to adjust to change, I can honestly say that I have had bouts of home-sickness and loneliness.

Call me silly, I go through this with any sort of move even though I have moved so many times in my life--my childhood, college, pharmacy school, and now this. Some might even scoff at me as I'm literally only 2.5 hours away from my home town.

But I've always been this way. Reluctant to let go. Deeply rooted in the next thing and then suddenly discombobulated if forced to uproot once more.

I do realize it is good for me though as much as I miss many things about my hometown, the people, and my previous workplace.

Some of the more noteworthy things about the new place is that I am adjusting to seeing more people who look like me. It honestly is very disconcerting to me. Just as I feel this way, an honest colleague commented to me that I had very "American and mixed vibes." This is not the first time I have heard this.

Only a week prior, a blind date told me the same thing, "I sense you are very American."

A second noteworthy thing is that I am INCREDIBLY grateful for my experiences from my previous work places. I cannot describe in how many different ways those experiences have prepared me for this new job. The technology, the troubleshooting, the interactions between professionals and patients---I don't mean any offense but I actually did a lot more in my previous roles than in my current role.

Regardless, I am trying my best with all the changes. One of the things I am telling myself is "Don't wait. You want friends? BE a friend first. You want to have good colleagues? BE a good colleague. You want to have a network of people who walk with you in your walk with God? You GO seek it out."

I made home-made bread over the weekend and was so enchanted by how my bread dough doubled in size with just a teaspoon of yeast. It was an active and breathing thing! The bubble formation at the top of the dough was fascinating. My mind which always works in the figurative of course, recited poetry to me, "May your faith and courage be like yeast, permeating space."

As I told a friend from back home, "There is NO grass is greener on the other side. There is only your lawn that is presently in front of you. Now tend to it."

So I intend to take my own advice and do these things.