The Perimenopause Advantage

"Oh, Snap! I completely forgot to send out my Monday Musing newsletter this week."

I know I had it on my list of three daily to-do's for Monday. I even had a topic in mind... yet somehow, I completely blanked.

I have lots of moments like that where I grab my phone, ready to take action, and, within a second, forget what's so important. I have a running grocery list that is spread across my phone, the whiteboard in my kitchen, and my office notepad. I forget words; worse, I forget the words I need to describe the word I'm trying to remember. Word searches these days look a lot like charades or finding the six degrees of connection between me and Kevin Bacon.

Four years ago, these were uncommon experiences, but today, they're daily occurrences.

This is one of the many "gifts" of perimenopause.

The Worst Part About Perimenopause

Brain fog, rage, night sweats, hot flashes, difficulties finding words, sleep disturbances, and irregular periods are the most commonly cited perimenopausal symptoms. I spoke with an expert a few weeks ago, and she said there are actually 23 more symptoms to consider.

My first sign of transitioning into perimenopause was what is commonly and cruelly referred to as turkey neck. Seemingly overnight, the skin in my neck lost all its tautness. Turn right, turn left; the crevasses and wrinkles were all I could see.

Vanity had me walking by mirrors, pulling on the side of my neck, dreaming of a miracle cure,?and?feeling incredibly insecure. Suddenly, Diane Keaton's high collars and turtle necks made so much sense.

Then there was knee sag, chronic bags under my eyes, loss of my period (that one I loved), night sweats, brain fog, murderous rages, dry skin, itchy underarms, hair loss and hair growth, word finding issues, anxiety... so much anxiety! And that's just what I notice.

"Worse, I forget the words I need to describe the word I'm trying to remember. "

But the worst part about being perimenopausal wasn't the symptoms. It was the initial loss of confidence and insecurity that came with feeling defective or less than. I see this a lot in women, and it's at the top of my mind with my clients.

What you think shapes your world. It impacts your emotions and your actions. When you start to believe you are somehow less capable, less of a leader, less valuable, you become all those things. You set yourself up for less success, less power, and fewer opportunities.

The Truth About Brain Fog And Other Perimenopausal Changes

Here's what I've been talking about with Noteworthy Women (who are incredibly smart, effective, and valuable leaders), my female friends of all ages, and any and every man who's willing to listen:

Just because:

• It takes you a minute to remember why you walked into the room or to find a word that was right there 0.1 seconds before,
• You no longer look or feel like your 33-year-old self,
• Some days, you need to actively distance yourself from people to remain civil...

... doesn't mean you are less intelligent, capable, effective, valuable, strategic, astute, impactful, or worthy.

The skills and insights you've built over your lifetime are still there.

Perimenopause, Your Competitive Edge!

At a time when most women are at the top of their game professionally, peri-menopause can trigger huge amounts of self-doubt and insecurity and silence great thinkers and great minds. In the past, when all we discussed or knew about "the change" was that women had hot flashes, got moody, and had irregular periods, maybe perimenopause was a nothing but a hindrance. Today, however, it doesn't have to be that way! Actually, being menopausal might provide an edge.

"They learn how to use their experiences to be more effective, compassionate, and agile leaders to teams that are by nature very diverse."

Personally, I am more organized than ever. I have implemented better self-care habits and centering practices. I am honing my ability to recognize subtle but critical shifts in my energy and mood and adapt my communication and schedule to my capabilities in ways my 30-year-old self never knew how to do (she just knuckled through everything and allowed herself to push to exhaustion).

Likewise, my coaching clients gain frameworks to operate at high levels regardless of the number of hours they slept the previous night and independently of mood or energy state. They're taught to recognize shifts in thinking, mood, and energy. They learn how to use their experience to be more effective, compassionate, and agile leaders in teams that are, by nature (age, global origin, background, culture, gender, and experience), very diverse.

If women can recognize that 1) showing up imperfectly does not diminish our worth and 2) these experiences can actually make us stronger, we will step into conversations and leadership spaces with greater confidence and a deep understanding of our true value. In turn, we can harness this competitive advantage to navigate high-stress situations more effectively.

Whether you're perimenopausal like me, menopausal, incubating a human, raising humans, or just existing in the world as a human who has days when her body and mind betray her, I hope you can remember that you're exceptional even when you're having an off day.

Does this strike a chord? How do you navigate your body or brain, leaving you in a lurch? What would you like me to write about? I have so many questions, and I'd love to hear from you!

As usual, if you want support navigating the ins and outs of being a leader, being a woman, being a woman in leadership who wants to make a huge impact and also wants a life, Noteworthy was built to support and elevate you.

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I've made it my mission to help women in senior leadership show up with authority, own their value, leverage their influence, and make a meaningful impact without sacrificing everything to the altar of success.

I lead this work through Noteworthy, an exclusive executive coaching and consulting firm that advances senior executive women and their allies in STEM and finance and supports companies that seek to retain, elevate, and attract them.

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