Performing Under Pressure: Navigating the Demand to Always Be 'ON' as a Black Woman in Corporate

Introduction: Always 'ON,' Always Exhausted

As Black women in corporate spaces, many of us feel the unspoken pressure to perform—always smiling, always chipper, always engaging. It’s as if there’s no room for us to just be. Quiet moments can be mistaken for disengagement, and introspection is sometimes misread as indifference.

For someone like me, who is naturally introverted, this expectation can be overwhelming. Many assume I’m extroverted because of my role as a facilitator, but the truth is, I’ve learned to be extroverted when necessary. It’s a survival skill, not a default setting. After eight hours of leading discussions and being the focal point of engagement, I return home to more responsibilities—family, clients, and life. With no space to decompress, my social battery often runs on empty.

If you feel the same, you’re not alone.

The Weight of Constant Performance

For Black women, this expectation goes beyond personality. It’s tied to deeper systemic challenges. We’re often expected to overdeliver and outperform to be seen as equals, and the emotional labor of doing so can take a toll.

Being "ON" all the time impacts us in many ways:

• Emotionally: It forces us to suppress our natural tendencies, leaving us drained and disconnected from our authentic selves.
• Physically: Social exhaustion shows up in fatigue, headaches, and even burnout.
• Mentally: The constant act of performing, engaging, and overachieving creates stress and diminishes our mental well-being.

How This Pressure Shows Up in Corporate Spaces

Mandatory Enthusiasm in Meetings: If you’re not actively speaking or nodding along in every meeting, it can be perceived as disengagement. Silence, even when you’re thoughtfully processing, is often misinterpreted as a lack of contribution.

Expectation to Lead or Participate in Social Events: You’re often “voluntold” to help plan team lunches, birthday celebrations, or after-hours events because you’re seen as the “friendly” one. Saying no might be viewed as being difficult or unsupportive.

Being the Go-To for DEI Initiatives: As one of the few (or only) Black women in the room, you’re expected to contribute to or lead diversity-related efforts, even when it’s not part of your role. This adds extra, unpaid emotional labor to your plate.

Forced Small Talk: There’s an unspoken expectation to always engage in small talk, whether about your weekend, hobbies, or family life. While some may enjoy these conversations, others may find them exhausting or intrusive, especially when it feels like a performance.

Pressure to Represent “Black Excellence”: You often feel the weight of representing not just yourself but an entire community, knowing that any perceived “misstep” could reinforce harmful stereotypes.

Limited Space to Decompress: Open office layouts and shared spaces make it difficult to find quiet moments to recharge. This is especially challenging for introverts who need solitude to reset.

Encouragement for Black Women in Corporate Spaces

To my fellow Black women navigating corporate environments, I want to remind you: Your quiet moments are not a weakness. Being observant, introspective, or simply needing time to recharge doesn’t make you less valuable. It makes you human.

You are allowed to prioritize your well-being and create spaces for yourself that honor your energy. It’s not only okay to do this—it’s necessary.

Tips for Navigating Spaces That Expect You to Be 'ON'

1. Redefine Recharge Time: Your time to recharge is not a luxury—it’s a necessity. Use breaks and lunch hours to step away from the noise, both physically and mentally. Take a walk, find a quiet space, or simply disconnect by leaving your work phone behind. Reclaiming this time is a small but powerful way to prioritize your well-being.
2. Set Intentional Boundaries: Protect your energy by being selective with what you share and where you invest your time. You don’t owe anyone a deep dive into your personal life or extracurriculars unless you choose to share. Boundaries aren’t about being distant—they’re about preserving what matters most to you.
3. Create Your Quiet Spaces: When the environment around you feels overwhelming, carve out spaces that allow you to focus and regroup. If a private office isn’t an option, consider reserving a quiet room or finding a less crowded corner to reset. It’s about creating an environment that aligns with your needs, even in small ways.
4. Embrace Micro Self-Care: Incorporate small, meaningful acts of self-care throughout your day. Whether it’s deep breathing, jotting down thoughts in a journal, or stepping outside for a moment of fresh air, these tiny practices can help you ground yourself and recharge when you’re running on empty.
5. Seek Your Support System: Finding people who truly understand your experience can be transformative. While building this community might take time, seek out connections—whether through colleagues, networking groups, or online spaces—who can provide the encouragement and understanding you need. Even one shared experience can make the workplace feel less isolating.

A Call to Action for Corporate Leaders

It’s time for organizations to recognize the diversity in how employees contribute and engage. Leaders should create environments where quiet strengths are valued alongside vocal contributions. Workplaces must honor the needs of introverts, extroverts, and everyone in between by fostering a culture of understanding and inclusion.

A simple question like “What do you need to thrive?” can go a long way in creating spaces where people feel valued for who they are—not just how much they can perform.

Conclusion: Permission to Just Be

You don’t have to perform every day. You don’t have to be "ON" all the time. Your quiet strength, introspection, and authenticity are valuable.

Let’s continue to support each other, advocate for better workplace environments, and remind ourselves—and each other—that our worth isn’t tied to how well we perform. We deserve spaces that celebrate us, just as we are.