Perfectly Imperfect!

Tis' the season to be Jolly right? Society would tell us otherwise...we're supposed to all be running around getting those last minute gifts and making everything perfect. The perfect tree, the perfectly wrapped present, the perfect table setting, the perfect dress...you get the picture. But I say...you know what's great? When we can step in to the fact that my life is not perfect and THAT's perfectly OK! I've got a little reminder too. Every day when I pull in to my neighborhood I see the lights hanging on my house. I've got about a 3 foot area that the lights went out on. In the past I would have been totally embarrassed to have this hanging up for everyone to see....but this year I think it's a great reminder that life is not perfect. It's full of ups and downs, joys and sorrows, great challenges and great accomplishments. We grow when we experience and embrace all of these fully.

If you constantly strive for perfection – then you might not like what I’m about to say. The quest for perfection is one of the fastest routes to unhappiness and actually affects how healthy you are. You know why?

Because perfection doesn’t exist.

I like to think of it like a mirage – you think you can see it way out in the distance and so you chase, chase, chase, chase, only to be disappointed because each time you get there, it’s vanished.

Perfection is an illusion that keeps us caught in a never-ending cycle of unhappiness and disappointment.

Through my experience as a coach I’ve identified a number of common reasons why we seek perfection. If you think about why we feel the need to be perfect in the first place, it all goes back to self-worth. If we have a strong desire to be perfect then we may use the idea of perfection as a way to validate ourselves as worthy and valuable human beings.

What I’ve noticed is that people who constantly seek perfection often worry about what others think of them. They're actually seeking recognition – because if we’re perfect then surely no-one can find fault in us, right? If we rely on the opinions of others to steer us through big life decisions, we just might end up living someone else’s life. Instead of getting caught up in the pursuit of perfection, what we really need is to understand who we are – and go and live that life.

The Consequences of Perfection

Did you know that the pursuit of perfection comes with many negative consequences that are actually stopping you from moving forward in life? If you are too busy waiting for things to be perfect, you might be missing out on opportunities. There’s never a perfect time, or place – so unless you want to be caught in the constant cycle of chasing perfection, it might be time to take action anyway. Let me put it to you this way: you cannot afford to keep chasing perfection.

Perfection is stopping you from making things happen in life because of a fear of failure and it’s just not worth it. The fact is, if you’re not failing enough, then you’re not close to success. So start to look at perfection as a hindrance rather than something to be proud of. Ralph Waldo Emerson said "Success is failure turned inside out." I love this quote and have had it up since my first "real" job I had in my twenties.

I have a simple approach for breaking the negative perfection cycle and it's this:

Replace perfection with contentment.

Imagine if we could replace our constant pursuit for perfection with pure contentment. Imagine how much happier and relaxed we would be. And I don’t mean inaction when I say contentment. It’s crucial we take action to make things happen in our lives, but we don’t need to do it in a way that is forced or obsessively perfect.

So for the rest the rest of this year and in to 2018 try something new! Have a go and next time you’re chasing perfection, take a step back, realize that you’re already perfect and sit back and enjoy the relaxed feeling of being content with where you are right now at this moment in time.

??Lisa