Perfection or Excellence?

About three months into our coaching journey, it was clear to both "Sarah" (not her real name) and me that her pursuit of perfection was taking a toll. She was exhausted, struggling to make decisions, and noticing a dip in her team’s morale.

Additionally, a couple of division managers who reported to her mentioned feeling stifled. Each time Sarah visited their area, she would make changes to initiatives they’d put in place, disrupting their work and creating confusion.

Like many leaders, Sarah held extremely high expectations for herself and her direct reports, adopting an “If it isn’t perfect, it’s not good enough” mindset, alongside a belief that “Sometimes it’s just easier if I show everyone how it needs to be done, so that they’ll do it properly.”

In our coaching, we explored the toll this was taking—not only on Sarah but also on her team. We discussed the idea that?expecting perfection does a disservice to yourself and those around you.

This is an insight I first discovered years ago when I began to see how perfectionism was affecting my own leadership. Since then, I’ve studied and worked on this area for decades. One piece of research that significantly deepened my understanding of the downsides of perfection was from Dr. Brené Brown.

Dr. Brené Brown, if you are not familiar with her, is a researcher and expert on vulnerability and shame and has demonstrated that perfectionism, especially in leadership, places significant strain on both the individual and their team. Her studies highlight that perfectionism often stems from a fear of judgment or failure, leading to exhaustion, decision fatigue, and a relentless sense of dissatisfaction. No matter how much is achieved, it never feels like it’s enough. This constant striving drains energy and confidence, making adaptability harder and leaving you exhausted.

For those you lead, a leader’s pursuit of perfection can create a restrictive environment where team members feel hesitant to take risks or voice ideas. As Dr. Brown’s research on vulnerability and psychological safety shows, perfectionism limits the trust and openness essential for creativity and communication. Team members may become overly cautious, focused on meeting an impossible standard, which stifles their contributions. Rather than feeling empowered and motivated, they may start to feel undervalued or even disengaged.

None of us set out to generate these outcomes; our intentions are usually to strive for excellence, get the best from ourselves, inspire our teams, and drive meaningful results for our customers and communities. But there is a difference between excellence and perfection.

Excellence is about striving to do our best, continuously improving, and embracing setbacks as learning moments. It’s adaptive, resilient, and focused on growth, which allows for creativity and flexibility.

Perfection, on the other hand, is rigid, driven by a fear of mistakes, and held to an unattainable standard. It often leads to exhaustion, decision paralysis, and a pressure that stifles both individual and team potential.

Take these two examples:

Delegation to the Team

Perfection: A leader hesitates to delegate high-stakes tasks, fearing the team won’t meet exact standards. This leads the leader to take on too much while the team misses valuable growth opportunities.

Excellence: A leader delegates challenging tasks, providing support and guidance while trusting team members to manage the details. This approach builds team confidence and skills and frees up the leader to focus on higher-level goals.

Making Decisions for Yourself

Perfection: A leader agonises over every decision, searching for the “perfect” solution. This results in delays and decision paralysis, as they fear making the “wrong” choice.

Excellence: A leader trusts their judgment and focuses on making timely decisions based on available information. They understand that not every decision needs to be flawless, allowing them to move forward and adapt as needed.

I’m sure you could add examples of your own, as perfection manifests in many ways.

One simple way to determine if it’s excellence or perfection at play is to ask yourself: “Is my focus here on growth and progress, or am I driven by a fear of mistakes?”

If it’s about progress—allowing for learning, small missteps, and improvement—it’s likely excellence. If it’s about avoiding flaws or trying to control every outcome, it’s probably perfection.

Perfection is often the pathway to burnout—don’t let it be yours or those you lead and mentor. Letting go of perfection isn’t about lowering standards; it’s about creating room for growth, adaptability, and connection with your team. It means helping others build their capabilities, leading to less stress for you and more time to focus on what matters most.

I trust this has been helpful in some way, shape, or form.

Until next week, lead well!

Kylie

Kylie Paatsch Leadership Coach, Consultant, and Facilitator, passionate about unlocking the potential in leaders, teams, and organisations. Through personalised one-on-one coaching and interactive workshops—both in person and online—I offer simple, practical, and personally tested tools and techniques to help you lead with confidence and build a strong team culture.

If you are interested in learning more about what I do and how I might be able to help, please send me a direct message or email [email protected]