Perfecting The Art of Bouncing Back

When every alarm in your body and brain is sounding a red alert, telling you to “Stop!” When what you thought was the worst that could happen - happens, how can you brush the dirt off, push through and keep on going? How can you make sure that you come out better, stronger, wiser than before?

By focusing on the perceived failure as a type of freedom. Why? Because the worst has happened. Now, you can relax and focus on rebuilding your life in a new image.

One thing is clear; we all will face failures in life. We all will, at some point, make a bad decision, pick the wrong person, the wrong job, the wrong investment or get off on the wrong exit. This does not mean we should “chase failure” in order to get it over with, so to speak. However, when we resist failure, it attaches itself to us. You don’t solve an issue by resisting it. You overcome failure by accepting it, analyzing it, dissecting it, and looking at it from every possible angle - in order to take from it lessons and tools you otherwise wouldn't have access to. Without failure, there is no growth.

If you focus on failure as a negative thing, then your world view can become cynical. If you focus on the positive aspects of what it means to "fail", then even the harshest defeat becomes only a stepping-stone to a bigger life, a clearer purpose, a new and improved YOU.

So how can you learn how to leverage the experience of failure to your benefit?

Step 1: Get Clear

• freewriting: In freewriting, the writer focuses on a topic and writes on it for 5 or 10 minutes nonstop - you may refer to this activity as a"brain dump". No special attention is paid to grammar or other editing considerations at this point in the writing process, and ideas are recorded in random fashion, just as they come into the writer's mind. This tool enables you to become more aware of your self-talk - because you’re getting it out of your head and onto paper (or onto a screen) so you can step back and assess how you are thinking.
• unplugging: Unplugging is an act of separating ourselves from what doesn’t align with our values and our heart-centred desires (this could also mean literal unplugging; from social media, your phone, your inbox or your to-do list). When things feel unclear and you get yourself into this inner fight for answers, it’s all too easy for your mind to take charge. In that instant, lies the opportunity to do it. To just be there. To realize that there’s nothing to fix, nothing to solve in this moment. As you settle in, sense your inner space and “listen” in whatever way you can. Don’t go searching for answers, but allow whatever shows up in your awareness to be of use to you. The key to unplugging is tuning into YOU.
• physical exertion: Aerobic exercise -getting your heart rate up- leads directly, and immediately to improved focus and concentration. Following a half hour of strenuous exercise, the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex works harder to resist distracters and performance on tests of attention improves. Studies also show that immediately following exercise, problem solving, memory, and attention improve.
• gratitude: Cultivating a spirit of gratitude is one of the most powerful tools for creating clarity, focus and peace in our lives. The individual impact of any one practice of gratitude is small, but the cumulative effect is huge. The real power of this habit comes from a multiplier effect that takes hold after practicing it for a month or two. In a sustained practice of gratitude, you begin to realize that nearly everyday is a good day (at least in a small way).
• meditation: Committing to the practice of meditation, you take your mind to a level where clarity is natural and effortless. The analogy of a river helps to show what happens. On the surface, a river is fast-flowing and whipped up into waves and eddies. As you descend into it, however, the river's flow becomes slow and steady. At the very bottom, the water may be so calm that it hardly moves at all. In the same way, there's a level of the mind - which becomes accessible through meditation - that knows only peace, calmness, and clarity.
• silence: Tenzin Priyadarshi says, “If there is no stillness, there is no silence. If there is no silence, there is no insight. If there is no insight, there is no clarity.” I used to be uncomfortable with silence. I was so terrified to be alone with my thoughts, or not have something to say in a conversation that I’d fill the empty space with chatter. But I began to wonder: What could my life become if I talked less and sat in silence more? Silence leads us to trust our own experience, to find a new way of seeing and to find a place of clarity where we aren’t controlled by distractions.
• deep breathing: Use the power of your breath to clear away the mental fog and to gain a deeper understanding and be confident in yourself again. Deep breathing is the foundation for brain health and mental clarity. Case in point: When you’re physically or emotionally stressed, your breathing becomes more rapid and shallow. You may stop breathing altogether for brief periods without even realizing it. Whether you choose to do deep breathing by yourself in a meditative way or perhaps in a yoga class or in the car few minutes after the knucklehead cuts you off in traffic, the fact is that deep breathing serves as a method by which you can clear your mind of clutter and piece together smart, rational approaches to your issues.

Stay tuned for Parts 2 and 3 of "Perfecting The Art of Bouncing Back": where I'll cover how to 'Get Current', and how to 'Get Creative'...