The "Perfect Trap"!

Is Perfect the enemy of the Good?

I put this statement as a question because I do not have a straight answer to this complex topic. But I do have a view based on my experiences and observations.

For someone, who always pursued ‘perfection’ (or as I claim), it is hard to admit that in the end not everything always turns out perfect. Have I achieved results that qualify as perfect or nearly perfect to my liking? Yes. Always? No.

Does this affect me? Always used to in the past but thankfully now only occasionally.

?But what is wrong with expecting things to be as perfect as we want? Isn’t this human behavior with almost everyone? We all want a perfect life, a perfect body, a perfect look, a perfect partner, a perfect job or business, a perfect family, a perfect, perfect, perfect … and so on… But the law of nature does not work as we want… It has its own dynamics… the non-controllable and the unpredictable ones… We do not always get what we want… And that is not it… Even if we get what we want at a certain time as a perfect thing, we after a while can get into a feeling that this is not what we wanted and need something else, something more. It may also happen that the perfect thing or person turns out not to be perfect after a while!

Perfectionism, at times, can be advantageous as it promotes high standards of excellence in work or attitude. However, the problem is that the quest for perfectionism never ends and is usually taken to an extreme level. This can lead to unnecessary stress, anxiety, and dissatisfaction. Perfectionists keep progress on the side and tend to start focusing on shortcomings and errors, which can consume a lot of energy and create unrealistic expectations. This focus on the negative can lead to self-doubt and an unending quest for "perfection." For perfectionists, failure is not an option. The fear of making mistakes or not meeting expectations increases anxiety and ultimately leads to procrastination. That extreme feeling is what I call the "Perfectionism curse" and I have seen people suffer with this.

?There is something called “Nirvana Fallacy” where we start comparing actual things with unrealistic, idealized alternatives. We assume that there exists a “perfect solution” to a particular case. What is that solution and when we will achieve it, no one knows. We ignore the good options and opportunities waiting for that perfect thing to come as we believe. That is where we also start overlooking the importance of progress. The emphasis on reaching an ideal standard can obscure the value of improvement and the incremental steps toward achieving our goals. In this sense, the pursuit of perfection only leads to disappointment and discouragement.

In the last few years, I have come to realize that there has to be balance in one's approach to dealing with expectations in life and getting out of this “perfect trap”. My few learnings are as follows

1. Progress is better than perfection. Progress is the key. Today should be better than yesterday and tomorrow should be better than today.

2. The pace of progress is the challenge. Challenge yourself with progress and pace. By focusing on progress, we can recognize the importance of small wins and milestones, which build confidence and motivation.

2. Don’t devalue the good even if you are not perfect right now. If you do, you will take two steps back and one step forward

3. Start listening to the positive voices and not the negative noises or tremors. Avoid negative people around you as they trigger negative thoughts.

4. Accept the situation even not perfect as you see after giving it all your effort. Acceptance of a situation at times makes it the perfect solution for you. Perfection is subjective and elusive; it is unlikely that we will ever achieve "perfection."

5. Setting realistic standards and approaching tasks with a growth mindset is essential. By recognizing that mistakes are learning opportunities, rather than reasons for condemnation, we allow ourselves to make progress and build resilience.

?We are all from a generation that experienced a rare situation of pandemic. In a challenging situation where all perfection models failed, we were able to recalibrate what perfection is all about. Just going out of the house became a perfect retreat more important that a lavish vacation on a beach or mountain resort. That’s the power of non-controllable like nature and the ability of controllable like the human mind… Think!

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