Perception or Reality - dealing with negativity in the workplace

In the diverse world of the workplace, we encounter a range of personality types, each with their quirks. Dealing with persistently negative colleagues can be a challenge, draining and causing friction. In this article, I want to explore strategies for dealing with people who we perhaps perceive as negative.? Most people have a theoretical appreciation that being surrounded by a range of thinking styles is more effective; we know we need the critical thinking engineer and the “yes-we-can” optimistic sales rep to create a successful company. ?However, by increasing our awareness around some of our own triggers, we can reduce the wasted energy used on bust-ups and silos which we know easily sabotage our mission.

Empathy and patience are vital when dealing with negative colleagues. Instead of taking their negativity personally, consider it as a reflection of their thought patterns. Gaining insights into their perspective can help you handle interactions with more compassion.

The Three Ps of Seligman

Psychologist Martin Seligman's theory of the "three Ps" - Personalization, Pervasiveness, and Permanence, can help us understand negative thinking patterns. Personalization is when we blame ourselves for everything; pervasiveness is thinking one negative event will affect all areas of life, and permanence is believing that negativity will last forever.

Recognizing these patterns can help you separate your colleague's negativity from actual reality of the situation and some well worded questions from a good place may help them get out of one of these thought traps. Their insight may not actually be a personal attack on your idea but some aspect of the idea itself. Perhaps they are not criticising the whole ideas but just one aspect. Asking questions like “what part of this do you see as being a problem?” helps to focus on the major issue. Likewise you could ask “is there part of this ideas which you like?” may uncover some great common ground which you can agree. ?A statement like, “I really haven’t got time to look at this’, can dissolved by asking “I can see you’re busy now when can we put some time in to look at this? I just want 10 minutes to get your initial thoughts and so I can investigate more.”?

Setting boundaries and taking care of your energy

Being more curious, empathetic, and supportive of our colleagues will help us to stay calm and communicate better but this in can still be hard work and even draining. ?Setting boundaries and giving room for positive interactions is essential to help maintain our effectiveness. Negative emotions can also be highly contagious, and people will bring numerous non-work-related challenges into conversation. Maintaining a healthy distance doesn't mean avoiding them entirely but setting boundaries. Protect your well-being by knowing when to disengage from negative conversations.

Personality Types and Negativity

Understanding your own personality traits is essential. As a case study I looked at my own personality profile which, using Myers-Briggs is defined as a “ENFPs” who known for their creativity and enthusiasm.

ENFPs often find it difficult to tolerate negativity because their primary cognitive function, Extraverted Intuition, is focused on exploring possibilities and generating ideas. The constant presence of negativity can feel stifling and draining for them, hampering their creative flow.

The 16 personality test using the NERIS? model is free or I am increasingly using Insights discovery which enables you to compare your profile with your colleagues to help understand the way you tend to process things and see the world.? These tools can really help to celebrate differences and capitalise on your strengths.

Conclusion

Dealing with negative colleagues requires patience, empathy, and the ability to set boundaries. Understanding the three Ps of Seligman can help you separate their negativity from your own experiences. By fostering a positive approach to dealing with negativity, you can create a more harmonious and productive work environment.