Is Perception More Important than Self-Awareness?

It is no secret I am not a good example of someone with patience. I can trace it all the way back to my birth with the fact that I was born almost three months premature. I just could not wait - and definitely not going to go along with someone else's schedule :). In fact, patience is something I am most times thankful I am not good at, but other times I wish I had more. I am quick to make decisions, quick to move on projects, quick to do just about everything. Where patience and I meet at the crossroads is usually with me be impatient. Let's just say I am often in a patience conundrum.

Throughout my career I have completed profile assessments including Meyers Briggs MBTI Personality Type ?and DiSC. In fact, last week, I attended my second of my career DiSC workshops in order to learn more about my preferences and how I can work better with others. Needless to say, on the DiSC continuum, I am a solid D. Goes hand in hand with my lack of patience. For completely transparency, I went through DiSC more than a decade ago. You might think that the learning and application would be the same, but I am here to share a different perspective.

What I can share from that workshop to current day is we should not assume if we go through these profile / preference workshops it is a one and done. You see, time changes us all and as we grow in our career (and home life, too), we absorb differently. Specifically, when I first went through DiSC I recall not being as willing AND intentional about how I am perceived, and what I can do better as a leader to influence and motivate others.

As a "more mature" (yes, you can say older, or old, idc) professional and more rounded individual, I care about being authentic and self-aware. OK, you might be saying "duh" of course, but humor me for a minute. What I am saying here is that in my early to mid 30's, as a hot-shot growing in my career, perception was everything. Goodness, I remember it being a HUGE part of the performance evaluation criteria in the day. With this, my focus was solely on HOW I wanted to be perceived, This is not really being authentic, is it?

Emotional intelligence is a new marketing/hr/leadership buzz word which has been swirling around for a few years now. It is becoming the new norm for leaders today and of course the leaders of tomorrow. This means in order to be an effective leader of self and others, we need to be self-aware and authentic in all areas of who we are. It means being vulnerable and willing to do the work it takes to be your true self, rather than the facade of what you think people want you to be. Most importantly, it breaks down the perception wall in helping leaders grow and mature, authentically and vulnerably - not hiding behind perception gaps.

Last week when working on my DiSC profile, learning and sharing with others in a workshop, I swear reality slapped me right in the face. I need to pay attention to those things about me that make me tick, but also those things that might tick other people off. I need to recognize patience is a virtue and although I may not be the most patient person, I need to respect those that are. More importantly, I need to respect the needs of others, regardless of what it is, while also not being afraid to still be my true self.

I will never be a person with patience. Nor will I ever be successful in making people perceive me as patient - it is NOT in my DNA. But that's ok, different is OK. Understanding and embracing differences, being self-aware and allowing yourself to be your authentic self is what will set you apart as a leader!