Perception – How Perception Makes Or Breaks Relations
Bhaskar Pandey
Engineering Leader@BT India|ELP| Engg. Academy-IIMA|Ex Bharti Airtel | Ex MetaDesign Solutions
Imagine for a moment that every interaction you have—every conversation, every glance, every email—passes through an invisible lens. This lens shapes not just what you see, but how you see it, how you interpret it, and ultimately, how you respond.
Picture this – You walk into a room and catch a glimpse of a conversation across the way. The expressions, the body language, the tone—it all seems to tell a story. You start to piece together what’s happening.
This is called perception, a powerful force that can make or break relationships. What if your perception is misleading you? What if the story you’re telling yourself is completely wrong? This is where relationships begin to crack.
The Power of Perception
Perception isn’t just about what we see—it’s about how we interpret what we see. Two people can be in the exact same situation, yet come away with entirely different stories. Why? Because perception is deeply personal, shaped by our experiences, beliefs, and emotions. It’s the narrative we create about the world around us, and whether that narrative is accurate or not, it drives how we respond.
Think about it. How often have you reacted based on what you thought was happening, only to discover later that you were way off the mark? That’s the power—and the danger—of perception.
See this picture, how dangerously an incomplete picture can change the whole definition of the situation :
What once seemed like a moment of violence is now revealed as a harmless prank. This moment of realisation—a shift from shock to understanding—is the perfect illustration of how perception works.
A Shift From Shock To Understanding— Is The Perfect Illustration Of How Perception Works
The Perception Gap: Where Relationships Falter
Every relationship, whether personal or professional, is vulnerable to the perception gap. This is the space between what one person intends to communicate and how the other person actually interprets it. It’s in this gap where misunderstandings fester, trust erodes, and conflicts take root.
An example of perception gap is very common for people managers. Consider a scenario – A manager during the regular performance feedback meeting, gives a constructive feedback to one of his team member. The manager’s intention is positive—they want to help the employee grow. But the employee perceives the feedback as criticism, as a sign they’re failing. Suddenly, what was meant to be a constructive conversation turns into a source of tension. The perception gap has created a rift in the relationship.
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The Assumption Trap
Perception is tricky because it often leads us into the assumption trap. We think we know why someone acted a certain way, or what their intentions were, without ever stopping to ask. These assumptions can be incredibly damaging.
Imagine you send an email to a colleague asking for help on an important task, and days go by without a response. You start assuming they’re ignoring you, or that they don’t care about your request. You might even begin to feel resentment or frustration. But what if your colleague is overwhelmed with other tasks, or simply missed your email in a crowded inbox? Acting on these assumptions, without seeking clarity, can lead to unnecessary tension, damaged relationships, and a breakdown in teamwork.
Assumptions can lead to unnecessary frustrations, damaged relationships, and a breakdown in teamwork
Emotional Intelligence: The Key to Bridging the Gap
How many conflicts in your life have arisen simply because of a misinterpretation, an assumption, or an emotional reaction that twist out of control? Emotional intelligence is the antidote to these pitfalls. It allows you to pause, reflect, and respond rather than react. It empowers you to ask the right questions, seek understanding, and create a space where true communication can flourish.
Emotional intelligence isn’t just a buzzword; it’s the foundation upon which strong, resilient relationships are built. It’s about being deeply aware of your own emotions and understanding how they colour your perceptions. But more importantly, it’s about recognising that every person you interact with is also operating through their own perceptions, shaped by their unique experiences, emotions, and challenges.
Imagine if you could step into someone else’s shoes, seeing the world not just from your own vantage point, but through their eyes. This is the essence of emotional intelligence—it’s the ability to not only manage your own emotions but also to tune into the emotions of others. But emotional intelligence goes beyond just preventing misunderstandings. It builds trust, encourages empathy, and strengthens relations. When people feel understood and valued, they’re more likely to reciprocate that understanding and trust. This creates a positive feedback loop, where open, honest communication becomes the norm, not the exception.
By Developing Your Emotional Intelligence You Cultivate An Environment Where Everyone Feels Heard, Respected and Valued
Closing the Gap: The Path to Stronger Relationships
The real challenge is learning how to close the perception gap before it causes irreparable damage. Here’s how we can start:
Conclusion: The Choice is Yours
Perception can either unite or divide us. The choice is ours : We can let our perceptions dictate our actions, or we can take control of our perceptions, closing the gap and building stronger, more meaningful connections.
Perception Isn’t Reality; It’s The Story We Tell Ourselves About Reality. To Truly Connect, We Must Challenge The Story